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15 Common Causes Of Suicide: Why Do People Kill Themselves?

Suicide is defined as the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. There are many factors that play a role in influencing whether someone decides to commit suicide. Nearly everyone experiences suicidal thoughts at one point or another throughout their existence. Everyone deals with tough times, but some people have been dealt a tougher hand when it comes to life circumstances, past trauma, mental and/or physical illness, social standing, and ability to cope with depressive emotions.

People are most driven to suicide when they view their current situation as being completely hopeless and feel as if they have no way to change things for the better. Common causes of suicide include: depression, drug abuse, financial problems, as well as difficulties with relationships. Although there are crisis hotlines that have been developed to help people feeling suicidal, the jury is out as to whether they even help.

Some ideas for preventing suicide include things like: banning firearms, developing better treatment for mental illness, and economic improvement. Most people that commit suicide do so because they are in some sort of pain and cannot seem to find a way out. Much work still needs to be done on coming up with more effective ways to help individuals that struggle with suicidal thinking as up to 1,000,000 people die every year from suicide. Listed below are some of the most common causes of suicide throughout the world.

15 Common Causes of Suicide: A List of Possibilities

Listed below are some common causes of suicide and a brief explanation regarding why it may lead a person to become suicidal. The most common cause of suicide is untreated depression, as 90% of individuals who commit suicide are depressed. However, there are other causes beyond the realm of mental illness that should be discussed including: trauma, drug addiction, existential crises, chronic pain, and terminal illnesses.

1. Mental illness

Among the most common causes of suicide is that of mental illness. Although there are a variety of treatment options for people with mental illnesses, they are far from perfect. Most people end up trying a variety of psychiatric drugs and/or talk therapies. After years of trying various medications (and cocktails), going through medication withdrawals, and experimenting with therapies, some people are stuck in a constant state of mental pain and despair.

  • Anxiety: Having generalized anxiety, social phobia, panic attacks, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can drive a person crazy. Some forms of anxiety make it extremely difficult to maintain friendships, finish school, or hold down a steady job. The combination of loneliness and fear can lead a person to contemplate suicide.
  • Bipolar disorder: There are a couple of subtypes of Bipolar disorder, but essentially it involves fluctuations in mood from states of severe depression to elevations in mood such as mania and hypomania. These mood fluctuations can make it difficult for people with this disorder to maintain relationships and a balanced life. Additionally the depression can lead a person to feel suicidal.
  • Depression: Major depression is a leading cause of suicide throughout the world. People that do not treat their depressive symptoms have a greater risk for following through with suicide. Individuals with major depression are typically genetically wired in a way that makes it difficult to feel pleasure and happiness in life. 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from untreated depression.
  • Schizophrenia: This is a highly severe mental illness with an array of symptoms including severe depression, hallucinations, and cognitive impairment. Having this illness makes it difficult to function in life and can serve as a major challenge due to the fact that most medications to treat this illness carry severe side effects. Anywhere from 20% to 40% of people with this illness attempt suicide.

2. Traumatic Experience

Any type of traumatic experience can lead a person to feeling helpless, guilty, and/or ashamed. If you were victim of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and/or dealt with trauma in war, you are much more likely to end up with post-traumatic stress disorder. This disorder and the feelings associated with traumatic experiences can lead a person to become suicidal.

PTSD: Many people with PTSD or “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” develops after a person is faced with a traumatic experience such as warfare, being seriously injured, or assaulted. The illness is characterized by flashbacks and numbing or blockage of memories surrounding the traumatic experience. People with this illness often live in a state of intense, and sometimes debilitating anxiety and/or fear that can interfere with leading a normal life. When people feel helpless about their situation and permanently traumatized, they may turn to suicide.

  • Physical abuse: People who are victim to physical abuse either growing up or in a relationship can be traumatized. They may harbor feelings of guilt and shame that stay trapped inside for years. When someone is abused it may go unrecognized and unreported for an extended period of time. A person who is being physically abused may view suicide as the only way in which they can escape their situation.
  • Sexual abuse: Any form of sexual abuse can lead a person to feeling depressed and suicidal. In cases of molestation and rape, a person is forced to perform sexual acts against their will. This can result in significant psychological trauma caused to the victim. When unreported or not addressed, this trauma can make a person feel highly suicidal.
  • War: Being involved in a war can lead a person to see death, horrendous injuries, and feel fearful for their own life. This intense anxiety and paranoia over whether the soldier will stay alive coupled with seeing others die and injured can lead to trauma. People see things in war that make them physically sick and in many cases, they have a tough time mentally healing. The lack of support for veterans and not understanding their psychological diagnosis can sometimes result in suicide.

3. Bullying

Most people experience bullying to some degree while growing up and going through school – it’s an inevitable part of life. Bullying can have a profound effect on the way people think and how they feel. Most people that are bullied end up feeling extremely depressed, worthless, and hopeless to change their situation.

Unfortunately in many cases, bullying goes completely unrecognized until the victim can’t take it anymore and sees suicide as the only way to escape the pain that they are experiencing. Some kids view bullying others as a way to fit in and/or prove themselves in regards to social hierarchy. Kids that get bullied are often viewed as being either physically weak and/or socially weak to not come up with witty responses.

Additionally, now there is a phenomenon called “cyber bullying” in which people fall victim to being bullied online. This happens on social media sites, comments sections of websites, and various blogs that aim to ruin people’s reputations and make people feel ashamed. When a person is bullied online and/or has privacy exposed online, they may view a ruined reputation as the end of the world and feel helpless to change their situation – which could lead to suicide.

4. Personality Disorders

Personality disorders can be closely related to mental illness, but are considered a set of traits that make it difficult to function within society. People with a personality disorder may have trouble maintaining relationships, holding down a steady job, and/or coping with life. For example, someone with dependent personality disorder may be too afraid to leave an abusive relationship. This “dependency” may lead the person with this disorder to consider suicide as an escape from their circumstances.

On the same token, avoidant personality disorder can lead individuals to avoid social contact because they are afraid they will be rejected or won’t fit in. This can result in feelings of isolation and a person thinking that they will never have any friends. An individual with a personality disorder may feel as if there is no hope for escaping the problems caused by their personality and may consider suicide.

The bottom line is that if you have a personality disorder, you are at increased risk of suicide. The personality disorder that is most associated with increased suicide risk is that of borderline personality disorder (BPD). This disorder is characterized by impulsive behavior, difficulty regulating emotions, and instability in relationships.

5. Drug Addiction / Substance Abuse

People that are addicted to drugs and/or abuse drugs or alcohol on a consistent basis are more likely to become depressed. Many people use drugs to escape painful feelings of depression and hopelessness of their current life situation. Being addicted to drugs or alcohol may provide some short-term relief from the pain that they feel, but over the long term, drug use tends to alter brain functioning and neurotransmitters.

Eventually a person will build up such a high tolerance to whatever drug they are addicted to, that they won’t experience anymore lift in mood that they got when they first started using. In many cases, substance abuse can temporarily change the way we think by altering neurotransmitter levels and overall brain function.

If you have an addiction, it could escalate to feelings of deep depression. You may feel helpless to overcome whatever addiction you face and some people see suicide as an only way out of the addiction trap.

6. Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are defined as a series of dysfunctional eating patterns that satisfy the person in ways other than nutrition. Many eating disorders are thought to be caused by body image problems, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues. It is thought that eating disorders are a way a person attempts to cope with unrelated issues such as: abuse, troublesome emotions, communication problems, or an identity crisis.

By eating in a certain way it allows the person to feel a sense of control over their life and situation.  A common disorder is that of anorexia, which is the refusal to eat enough food to maintain a healthy body weight. Others include: bulimia, compulsive overeating, and purging disorder. All of these disorders tend to affect both physical and mental health negatively.

A person dealing with an eating disorder may constantly feel suicidal as a result of a nutrient-deficient diet.  Poor diets can lead a person to feel depression and constant negative emotions.  Only when the diet is corrected can a person experience improvements in mental health and pain associated with their situation.  Additionally in cases of eating disorders, other underlying issues usually need to be addressed in therapy before progress can be made.

7. Unemployment

Being unemployed can lead to feelings of isolation and make your life feel as if it is void of purpose. With a poor economy, many people lose their jobs and look for new work, but since the competition is fierce, landing a new job can be difficult. In many cases being unemployed not only makes people feel as if they have no purpose in life, it can lead to depression over lack of an income as well.

Individuals who are unemployed aren’t earning any money and may get especially stressed out when it comes time to pay bills. Being unable to earn money and provide for yourself and/or a family can result in significant depression and anxiety. In addition to unemployment, hating your current job can also lead to suicidal thoughts and possibly actions if you feel as if there is no alternative option.

Employment provides most people with a sense of purpose and belonging to a specific group or company.  If you are unemployed you may find yourself socially isolated and lacking purpose and structure in your day.  Being employed helps individuals stay busy and can actually take their mind off of

8. Social Isolation / Loneliness

Being socially isolated from society can take a toll on mental health and lead a person to become depressed and consider suicide. Socializing and interacting with other people is a basic human need. If social needs are not met, a person can start to feel lonely which leads to depression and possibly suicidal thoughts. Loneliness is defined as a general feeling of sadness as a result of being alone or feeling disconnected from others.

Isolation is being separated from others in your environment. Someone can become isolated based on circumstances (i.e. employment) or as a result of personal decisions. Various reasons that a person could feel lonely or isolated include: living alone, death of a close friend or family member, poor physical health, mental illness, being introverted, fear of rejection, and/or retirement.

Living isolated from others can lead to an array of problems including mental health conditions, low energy, substance abuse, negative feelings, and/or sleep problems. If the loneliness and/or social isolation is not addressed, it may lead someone to consider suicide as an escape from their situation.

9. Relationship problems

Many people struggle with relationships including: being in abusive relationships, not feeling appreciated, and/or going through break-ups. There are many different types of relationships that a person could struggle with. Some people may have difficulties making friends and maintaining a close group for socialization. Others may struggle with staying in abusive relationships just so that they can avoid feeling isolated and lonely.

The need for human belonging is so strong that some people are willing to join gangs and/or humiliate themselves just to be in a relationship with another person. As far as romantic relationships are concerned, the act of a break-up can trigger intense feelings of depression, anxiety, guilt and panic – leading a person to deal with a lot of emotional pain. Often times in the news we read about people committing suicide as the result of a break-up with a significant other.

Among individuals that are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered, the leading cause of suicide isn’t family rejection, it’s relationship troubles. Most research suggests that these individuals deal with significantly more relationship stress than those who are heterosexual.

10. Genetics / Family History

A lot of suicide risk has to do with genetics and family history. Those who are from a family in which suicide is common are more likely to commit suicide themselves. Additionally if a mental illness is inherited such as major depression, this can further increase risk of suicide. Family, twin, and adoption studies have all established genetic links to suicidal behavior.

Various traits including: aggression, borderline personality disorder, cognitive inflexibility, and stress sensitivity are all linked to influencing suicidal behavior. If you inherit any of these traits, they could put you at an increased risk of suicide. Although there is a genetic link, it is not certain as to what degree this affects someone’s decision to follow through with the act of suicide.

Additionally epigenetics or the activation or deactivation of genes based on environmental factors is thought to play a role. In other words, your circumstances, the people you hang out with, where you live, etc. could all influence your genetic expression and thus be partially influential in determining whether a person becomes suicidal.

11. Philosophical Desire / Existential Crisis

When life seems void of meaning, people tend to question why they are even living and/or the entire purpose of their existence. This is often referred to as an “existential crisis” and can be difficult to overcome because people dealing with this issue often think themselves in circles of logic as to why there is no point to life. In many cases, people facing an existential crisis consider suicide because they feel as if their entire existence is void of purpose.

This crisis can result from major depression, trauma, loneliness, seeking meaning and/or general dissatisfaction with life. Some reports suggest that this crisis may affect individuals with above-average levels of intelligence. Facing an existential crisis can be difficult and can take awhile to get over. Usually the individual needs to make some sort of changes in life for their existential outlook to change.

I personally have faced this crisis and would spend entire days dwelling on the fact that life is pointless and that eventually I’m going to face either: an afterlife or nothingness when I die. This crisis can last years and result in highly suicidal feelings if not addressed in some way.

12. Terminal Illness

Many people with terminal illnesses that have no hope of improving their situation based on current science and medicine may become depressed. This depression is usually a result of feeling powerless to one’s condition. People with terminal illnesses aren’t able to treat or make any sort of improvement towards getting better. In many cases they are simply living and being controlled by the impairments that their illness causes.

Terminal illnesses such as various types of cancer usually leave a person frustrated, shocked and feeling hopeless. Other terminal illnesses end up causing physical or other handicaps and take a serious toll on a person’s energy levels, willpower, and ability to partake in daily functions. Many elderly individuals who are terminally ill have fought for euthanasia rights and/or traveled to other countries where it has been legalized.

13. Chronic Pain

If you have chronic pain, it means that you have had daily pain that has persisted for between three and six months. This pain often impairs your ability to function throughout the day and can affect mobility, the ability to perform certain tasks, and even a person’s mental health. Although pain levels differ among chronic pain sufferers, one thing that they all have in common is an inability to escape the daily discomfort associated with their pain.

They may take painkillers just to make it through the day, but these painkillers are not considered a “cure,” and many people find them relatively ineffective once they build up a tolerance. There aren’t many promising treatment options for people that have chronic pain other than various forms of therapy and medication. Dealing with pain on a daily basis can drive some people into depression, and in some cases, suicide.

14. Financial Problems

People who are struggling financially sometimes see no end in sight to their debt and bills. The financial stress can take a major toll on a person’s mental health. There have been cases of even millionaires committing suicide because they spent all of their money or had to file for bankruptcy. In a difficult economy, unemployment is linked to increased financial stress, but even if you are employed, you may still have financial problems.

Those who have accumulated a serious amount of debt as a result of an unforeseen emergency, excessive shopping, and/or medical bills may panic and feel suicidal when they can’t pay their bills. The stress of having a poor credit score and constant phone calls from bill collectors may make some people feel ashamed and hopeless to change their financial situation.

Although most people in financial troubles eventually end up working their way out of debt, some people are afraid to deal with this situation. In the event that a person becomes embarrassed about their finances and feels depressed about their debt, they may consider suicide as a way to escape this situation.

15. Prescription Drugs

The side effects of various prescription drugs such as antidepressants can result in suicidal ideation. In other words, these drugs affect levels of neurotransmitters that can sometimes put a person at increased risk for suicide. Some antidepressants actually end up making people significantly more depressed because they are targeting neurotransmitter levels, when the original cause of depression wasn’t a result of a chemical imbalance.  (Read the article, “Can antidepressants cause suicidality?” for more information).

Although many people respond well to SSRI’s that prevent the reuptake of serotonin, thereby increasing serotonin levels in the brain, others have poor reactions. There are black box warnings on most antidepressants stating that they may cause an increase in suicidal thinking. In addition to feeling suicidal while on antidepressants, many people end up with a chemical imbalance upon withdrawal from these drugs.  It is also disputed as to whether dopamine vs. serotonin is more important or whether low norepinephrine causes depression.

The chemical imbalance is usually caused by changes in neurotransmitter levels and functioning as a result of taking an antidepressant. In many cases serotonin levels are abnormally low when a person withdraws from an SSRI, leaving the person to feel even more depressed and suicidal than they originally were. It takes the brain awhile to recover after withdrawal and reestablish normal serotonin levels.  Further recommended reading: Do antidepressants cause a chemical imbalance?

Other psychiatric drugs that can lead a person to feel suicidal include: antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. It is always important to monitor sudden changes in mood while taking a psychiatric drug so that suicide can be prevented. Most people are lead to believe that psychiatric drugs will always work to prevent suicide, when in reality if someone has a bad reaction, they can actually trigger these thoughts.

Why do some people kill themselves in these situations?

Feeling trapped and unable to cope with a particular situation in life tends to lead people to consider suicide. Whether a person has been dealing with a mental illness, faced trauma, or they have been bullied at school, it is the pain and continuous suffering from these experiences that becomes overwhelming. When pain exceeds our abilities to cope, we feel hopeless to change and feel suicidal.

It is important to recognize that pain is an inevitable part of life, everyone deals with pain to a certain extent. Escaping the everyday pain and suffering associated with life is impossible. So what can be done if you are suicidal? Either find a way to reduce the amount of pain you are experiencing and/or increase your coping resources.

If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, be sure to seek professional help. The article I wrote called “I Want To Die” may provide you with some useful suggestions as to where you can get help for yourself if you feel hopeless. In many cases, the pain leading a person to feel suicidal can be overcome and reduced to the point where an individual is able to find pleasure and purpose in life again.

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{ 260 comments… add one }
  • JD November 10, 2016, 3:52 am

    My numbers would be 7, 11, 12, and 13. I was born with a condition that wasn’t caught early. I have had 13 surgeries because it. I have been in severe chronic pain for over 17 years now. I can’t work. The one thing that crosses my mind is when I would kill myself.

  • Jim October 14, 2016, 12:59 am

    I am done. The only thing that has kept me from committing suicide is the thought of Hell. But as I explore further, I believe Jesus Christ will forgive me. I was once at the top of my game. I had my own company that closed due to financial and legal issues. Due to other circumstances related to my old company, my marriage fell apart.

    Now I am in divorce court without money and no job. I am on the wrong side of 40. My ex-wife and the courts have fought to keep me from my children. Since I cannot afford an attorney, they threw me in jail for failing to pay child support (even though, no order to pay exists – we have not finalized the divorce – and I voluntarily paid $2K a month until only a few months ago).

    I have literally applied to more than 500 jobs and have not landed one. I just feel cursed completely. The only out is suicide. I KNOW this! The real question is not whether or not I will commit suicide, but how. My life has completely fallen apart and it is time. I really wish everyone the best of luck with their respective decisions. To me… for me… I know the best way is to end it.

    • Starfish November 25, 2016, 10:22 am

      Never stop trusting almighty God. You have everything to live for. You state you are a believer… read Job in the bible. Then read Ecclesiasticus… there is nothing new under the sun God says. Really read it. Google Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic. See him on YouTube. I saw him live at my church. Get his book… keep it and read it. He should inspire you to never look back. God bless and I pray you will find hope. You will.

  • Kat October 8, 2016, 3:41 am

    I feel like I’m experiencing all of these. Both my brothers have died and I’m my moms last adult child. Meanwhile she doesn’t seem especially bothered. All she can talk about is the next vacation to go on and I can’t read her mind so haven’t said anything cruel to bring her down. I’ve been in an extremely difficult education program and am having trouble eating from the constant stress and anxiety.

    It feels the only thing I can control is my food intake. Lately I go to bed and just want to never wake up or think about all the ways I can end my life. I don’t want to hurt my family so I go on living. I have the highest GPA in school but worry I’ll fail when it comes down to the wire.

  • Marc October 6, 2016, 11:25 pm

    I’ve been planning to end my life for over three years now. At first, I thought it was just a phase, because I’ve had suicidal thoughts since I was in my early teens, but now I believe it’s inevitable. It’s very hard to explain, but I find myself “going through all the motions” in this plan – writing a will, considering options for disposal of my remains and my property, reconnecting and – indirectly – saying goodbye to old friends… almost as though I want to make sure everything is in order before I do this.

    That way, if (or when) I actually do this, everything will be in order. I am not writing this in order to seek help, sympathy, or attention. That’s part of why it’s hard to explain my feelings on this: I feel almost compelled to go through with it, like a powerful magnet is pulling me closer, and now, suddenly, I am feeling the pull get stronger. There just isn’t anything more I feel I need to do in my life, and I’m just not interested in living any more. It’s pointless to prolong this dissatisfaction and resignation.

  • Carmalita October 2, 2016, 7:53 pm

    I was molested when I was a little girl. I’ve tried to deal with it my entire life. I am in financial ruins, I have no purpose left in life. I sit daily wondering why I am here. What am I supposed do. I feel like a fake. I’m tired of trying. I’m blk, a woman, liberal, and lost in this country. This election has taken a toll on me.

    I’m hated because of the color of my skin. This world could give a damn about me. The only bright spots in my life are my sons, but they are adults now so I have nothing left to keep me here I have a disabled brother, who is selfish as hell. He even said he wish he was alone at one point. That stuck with me. I’m always crying in my room.

    I keep it hidden. No one has a clue. They don’t care. It makes it easy to hide. I’m getting closer to the end. I’m scared right now. I do worry about my youngest son. He loves me. He is a beautiful child. I got that right. The only thing I am proud of. He will be crushed and I think that is why I am still here. He is 17.

    • Anonymous October 8, 2016, 4:05 pm

      Carmalita – Remember how beautiful life is. Think about your two Sons, and how grateful they must be to have you as there mother. You have so much to look forward to. Get rid of those false thoughts and try to think positive. Sometimes the news has a way of getting us down. Try watching a funny movie or TV show Instead. Also, don’t stress too much about the election. The people will make the right decision. Hang in there Carmalita!

      Poem below-

      “To believe is to know that
      every day is a new beginning.
      Is to trust that miracles happen,
      and dreams really do come true.

      To believe is to see angels
      dancing among the clouds,
      To know the wonder of a stardust sky
      and the wisdom of the man in the moon.

      To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart,
      The innocence of a child’s eyes
      and the beauty of an aging hand,
      for it is through their teachings we learn to love.

      To believe is to find the strength
      and courage that lies within us
      When it’s time to pick up
      the pieces and begin again.

      To believe is to know
      we are not alone,
      That life is a gift
      and this is our time to cherish it.

      To believe is to know
      that wonderful surprises are just
      waiting to happen,
      And all our hopes and dreams are within reach.

      If only we believe.”

      A Time To Believe
      by B.J. Morbitzer

    • Angie December 6, 2016, 9:26 pm

      Carmelita, I am white, but believe me that I understand how cruel and dismissive the world is over superficial nonsense. If the U.S. is the best the world has to offer, then there is little hope that the world will continue much further without Divine intervention. I pray you hang on. I feel your pain.

  • Michael October 1, 2016, 4:09 pm

    I was laid off in April 2015; it took me a year to find a job; I was just laid off again, this time with no unemployment insurance as I did not work there long enough. I am 54, alone, have no children, the family of my childhood has long passed way. My leaving would not be “selfish” because nobody would be affected. I am not a teenager with a lifetime ahead of him, so there is no need for therapists and education and awareness teams to spring into action.

    I see no future anymore; clearly all of my education and experience is worthless to make a living. Leaving has been on my mind for many months and there is no way around it anymore that I can see. I argue against myself but when I weigh the options and future, I can’t see it any other way than leaving.

    • Patti October 8, 2016, 5:58 pm

      Dear Michael: I am 63, have two grown children and tried to kill myself a year ago because I had lost my husband, my best friend and the only one who really cared about my leaving this earth was my cat. I went into Mather Hospital and got on Paxil and Xanax. After 6 months in therapy I got better. My life is better now and I know it sounds so easy and simple but it can get better. You will not always feel good. There are days when you will not feel good. But there is always the next day and new hope. Do not give up.

      • Michael October 21, 2016, 3:16 am

        Thank you Patti.

  • Jari September 18, 2016, 12:29 pm

    I have no friends and feel very alone in this world. I have a son that I am raising on my own and it’s not easy. Sometimes I think everything would be better if I just wasn’t here anymore. I’m always sad and always crying. I am deeply depressed. My family doesn’t understand me. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I hate life. I hate my life. I just want to end it all.

    • Markus September 24, 2016, 1:11 pm

      Jari. This probably won’t help you, but thought I’d just say that I recognize your pain. I do indeed hope your pain will end soon. It’s a dark, dark, hopeless place to be. I won’t and honestly can’t promise that things will be better, but thought I’d reply to your pain and this way be present to you over the internet. With sincere respect, Markus

  • Victor August 29, 2016, 3:19 am

    My life sucks. I’m not going to go into why, because, frankly, no one wants to hear it. I am in a rut and have become totally worthless as both a husband and father. I am ashamed of myself constantly, and the part of the day that I look forward to the most is going to sleep at night, so at least I can have some sort of escape. I am watching YouTube videos about life after death in hopes that there is one, but really, I don’t care at this point. Life, society and the people in it all suck.

    I am tired of hearing how “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem…” In my case, death has to be better than where I’m at now. Anyway, I just wanted to get that off of my chest. Can anyone suggest a way to make a suicide look like a heart attack or some other type of natural cause? I want my family to be able to collect life insurance. Thanks.

    • Adrian December 17, 2016, 6:35 am

      Hey Victor, I’m not sure about the suggestion, but I wanted to “hold some space” instead. Yeah, the “permanent solution to a temporary problem” line is laughable. There are many levels of despair and hopelessness, and anyone who has gone to extremes for prolonged periods of time realizes that a lot of people just don’t know what they’re talking about. You’re probably never going to see this, but I’m sending you some empathic love with my thoughts right now.

  • ANONYMOUS August 28, 2016, 11:28 am

    I have all of these feelings, my mother was murdered in 2012, so I moved in with my grandfather and grandmother, and uncle to take care of them. My uncle died 6 months later after my mother died, then I lost my grandmother from a stroke in that same year. I basically took care of my uncles health and my grandparents. My wife and I we’re their primary caregivers.

    I lost 3 family members within 9 months apart, and then lost my grandfather just this year on may15th, he was like a father to me. So now I have no job, no income, no food, and I’m dealing with probate court too over estate, because my other uncle forged power of attorney, during hospice care for my grandfather, and he also forged his will too. My uncle says that he is going to make sure I’m left a house because that’s my grandfather’s wishes.

    However, I see nothing but deceit. My family owns 4 properties all paid off, and my uncle basically wants it all. So, basically I have no family left except for my wife and son. I contemplate suicide all of the time, my son and wife are the ones that keep me going. Also I do not even know who my biological father is, so the four family members that just died are all that I had.

    My grandmother was like a mother to me, and my grandfather was like a father to me.I so much stress that I cannot even put it into words. Mostly everything on that list is me, except for the psychotic part, I suffer from deep depression, lack of sleep, anxiety, joblessness, worrying about bills, food, a roof over my head, and many other things. I haven’t worked in 3 years because of this.

    Also, taking care of my sick family members wiped out my savings, I have nothing anymore. Imagine watching people that you love, die around you wile in hospice care at home wile you’re taking care of them. It has ripped my heart out soul to shreds…

  • Laurent August 24, 2016, 5:33 pm

    Did I read this right? “Escaping the everyday pain and suffering associated with life is impossible.” If pain and suffering are INEVITABLE, then who is anyone to command another human being who had no choice in coming into existence that she/he must remain here, suffering? It’s feasible that one cannot significantly increase one’s coping mechanisms OR decrease the pain in one’s life. Then only the person to whom the life belongs–the one living it–should have any say in whether or not that life is worth living.

    It is the supreme arrogance of humanity that, after inventing labels to characterize people as “sick” (without the biomolecular evidence of so-called disease), and dismissing these human beings from the protective social sphere (no jobs–so no money to survive–and no companionship…), we then tell them they may not leave. Just stay here suffering for decades until crime or neglect or disease kills you. No, we won’t help you as you’re suffering–we don’t want our tax dollars wasted on you; we don’t want to give you a job to generate the money you need actually to live in a capitalist society; and, god knows, we certainly don’t want you around us–you depressing, wrong-acting human-thing.

    But still, stick around until you wither away. Just don’t bother the rest of us in the meantime. And oh, the mental health profession can’t guarantee you a diminution in your pain that would be meaningful to YOU, either, no matter how assiduously you follow your doctors’ and therapists’ regimens. So, live long and suffer. And then die. No mercy for you.

    No doctor or “therapist” will ever commit me. My life is my property. I alone will decide when and how I die, assuming something else doesn’t first take me. I know what my fellow humans are capable of. I see us neglect and abuse one another EVERY day. And not just common people like me. Politicians, judges, lawyers, doctors–all the heads of society–all advocate policies that ultimately benefit themselves, or minimally, just don’t help those who really need help. I’m not trusting in my government or any professionals to help me. I’ll help myself OUT of this hellish existence I NEVER asked for.

    • Angie December 6, 2016, 9:05 pm

      You nailed it. No reasonable person can counter your argument. Life is cruel to many more than the few it well serves.

    • Dani December 14, 2016, 1:21 am


  • Acnescarrrred August 20, 2016, 1:39 pm

    You should have included acne scars on the list. People that develop moderate to severe acne scars are shunned by society. Their old friends are embarrassed to be associated with them. Employers see it as unprofessional and unhygienic. They think that if you can’t take care of yourself, you likely can’t handle responsibility on the job. Acne scar sufferers are linked to high rates of unemployment.

    The possible treatments are very expensive and only provide a mild improvement at best. Acne scars are a hopeless existence. No friends, family, career, money, depression, depression, substance abuse, anxiety, PTSD, poverty, and ultimately suicide are inevitable. Everyone reports the same thing but it never makes lists like these. F-CK YOU PEOPLE FOR MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY.

    • Angie December 6, 2016, 8:55 pm

      I am so sorry. I knew a girl, well, I interacted with her on rare occasion, in high school, some 38 years ago (seems like yesterday) who was last belt, unattractive even without the scars, which were pronounced. She was ostracised and bullied. I was kind to her, but was dealing with my own silent horror. I can understand this is a huge, overlooked issue that desperately needs attention. Again, I am truly sorry.

  • Ram August 14, 2016, 2:41 am

    That explains a lot… I have social anxiety and general distrust in humanity. I just always feel so out of place especially in social situations so I try to avoid it at all cost. I’m just fed up with everything and everyone… I was also bullied throughout my life… And a few months ago I was diagnosed with HIV. I’m attempting to pass a board exam I just don’t know if I still have the heart to do…

  • Larry August 11, 2016, 5:59 pm

    From all the messages I’ve read the choice is crystal clear. There is no hope. There is no other side. There is no what if it gets better. Thank you for the clarity.

  • Anon2 August 5, 2016, 4:07 pm

    I have 1, 2, 3, 8, 11 on the list. I am still struggling with existential crisis after many years. Born and raised in a multicultural country in a household with a variety of faiths. Been searching for answers since years ago. I am now in my early 20s, and I feel so stuck.

  • Lisa July 31, 2016, 2:24 am

    ‘Suicide is a final solution for temporary problems’? How wonderful it must be to relegate everyone’s intense misery to one platitude. I am a chronic pain sufferer. I’ve been trying to get some actual, lasting help since 1998. Because I was born with a birth defect (easily repaired as an infant, but my parents were poor, and my father was busy beating everyone), my pelvis is twisted and I have a leg length discrepancy. I worked out with weights and swam a mile and a half each day, as well as walking, biking, etc.

    I gave birth to two beautiful, large sons without using any pain medication. When I was in my early 40’s, it all caught up to me. I began to have intense sciatic pain on my left side, from my lower back to my heel. Pain ‘specialists’ gave me large doses of Neurontin for nerve pain to treat it, but that drug didn’t help the pain at all. It DID make me intensely paranoid and nervous, caused audial hallucinations, and ruined my sense of balance.

    I had a very bad fall which destroyed my left knee. Since then, I’ve had a hip replacement with two revisions, and my knee will be replaced in early November. Because of doctor’s negligence, I am forced to have a very simple and rudimentary prosthesis in my knee, which will last approximately 7 years. Then I’ll have to do it all again.

    I have intractable pain in my hips, left knee, and lower back. All of my problems are the result of my parent’s negligence. Naturally, I’m feeling very guilty about leaving behind my sons, husband, and a friend who really will feel profound sadness, but I am so, so tired of fighting with my doctors about the proper dose of the proper medications. I am weary of struggling to smile, to keep my house decent, and to put a good meal on the table before 8 pm.

    I’ve had times of immense pleasure and pride several years ago when my sons were young, and I had an interesting job. All that is gone now. I can’t help but think that my future will involve more pain and more disability. My brother and sisters and husband and sons are all vibrant, healthy athletes, as are their sons and daughters. I do not fit in with them anymore. In fact I make them uncomfortable. I’m actively pursuing some kind of understanding with God, as I can’t help but think that he (she?) will be unhappy with a suicide.

    • Victor August 29, 2016, 3:27 am

      Why do you believe that God would be unhappy with a suicide? The Bible never condemns suicide. In fact, if you think about it, Jesus had every chance to escape Jerusalem before he was to be crucified, yet chose to stay. Isn’t that a form of suicide? Wouldn’t the human race have been better off if he lived?

      Regardless, don’t let any religious institution tell you that suicide is wrong. All those institutions do is manufacture answers to life’s existential questions that no one can answer for sure, and then pass around the collection basket. Our lives are our own to take.

      • Nick March 11, 2018, 3:28 pm

        Victor, what you are suggesting here is not just absolutely wrong, but by your words you are making another person feel it is all ok if she kills herself. You should never ever do that. Jesus Christ is God and the fact that he didn’t escape Jerusalem shows His courage and willingness to endure what had to be done in order to save us.

        This was not a form of suicide. Far from it. The human race was saved because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. There are religious institutions and heresies that manufacture lies and propaganda to collect money. Nevertheless, Jesus Christ is not an institution. The Bible is not an institution.

        Jesus’ church is not an institution as you mean it. It is a place of salvation where if they collect offerings they use them to help other fellow human beings cope with the hardships of life, not for personal commodities.

        I don’t presume to know the suffering that Lisa or anyone else is going through. However, we should pray and seek help from God and His church for our problems, where people have found meaning and salvation in their life.

  • Aidan July 29, 2016, 11:33 pm

    3,4,8,11. When I was a teen, I had acne, was Jewish, had no Mom, and was considered fat by others. I was driven half to insanity, I tried to off myself twice, and failed. I have split personalities and have no one to talk to this about, except the internet.

    Jeez, I never had it easy, and never will. My good half of me has found a reason for me to live on, so here I am. Still restraining myself from trying to commit suicide.

  • Vicky July 26, 2016, 11:04 pm

    I have suffered with various phobias and anxieties since I was a child and have been a chronic worrier. Now I actually have a real problem where I am chronically suffering with bowel issues which makes me go for days without sleep and can barely get out of bed some days. I accept where I am in life. I look back at all the incredibly trivial things I was anxious about and they are nothing compared to what I go through now.

    There is nothing medical that can help me and I have tried my best to stay hopeful over the last 6 years. I am frightened of a life of suffering and how I am supposed to carry on like this. I have done this to myself through stressing and depression over small things and really didn’t appreciate how lucky I was in the past. I have a lovely life with everything I could ask for and can’t see that I will ever be well enough to enjoy it.

  • Amber July 26, 2016, 1:17 am

    My name is Amber. I’m 33. I’m married I have a 9 year old son and my husband and I are in the process of adopting my 9 year cousin. She’s a good kid. Anyway, I have suffered from bipolar for over 20 years, have taken numerous medications and started feeling good. Tried to commit suicide. my cousin took his life in Feb 2010 Was stable on meds until my mother got sick in 2013, at the time I was still stable on meds.

    I quit smoking lost 100pds. My mom passed in jan 2015 lost my step dad April 20¹6 and since I feel like I’m in a brain fog. Started smoking cigs again, weed. Now I sit here day after day feeling overwhelmed with life. I have high anxiety and often feel empty. Yes I’ve been seeing my psych regularly. He upped my meds. Which still are not working. I’m in school for paralegal.

    I often feel that everyone would be better off without me. I suffer from chronic pain daily. I even find myself thinking of ways to do myself in. I don’t want to lose my daughter by going to a mental institution. But I’m afraid that one of these days when my mind goes blank and into that fog I may do it. Anyways thanks for listening.

  • Kat July 26, 2016, 1:05 am

    1,2,3,5,8,9,10,11. I probably need help.

    • By james December 16, 2016, 11:24 pm

      Don’t feel bad. I know I need help I’m just not sure how to go about it. 1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 8, 11, 13, 14.

  • Teresa July 20, 2016, 2:18 am

    Wow! I suffer from 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 9, 10, 11, 13, 14 and 15. I guess the article is accurate. There really is no place for me here. At least I know it isn’t in “my head”. I’m not frightened of dying. That is another part of my problem. I’ve tried twice before… only do wake up to having my stomach pumped and a sore throat for many days from the the tube.

    At least 7 hospitalisations for depression. Wishing death every single moment of my day while I’m awake…and it never finds me. I’ve been hit by 13 different irresponsible drivers over 35 years. 3 of those accidents were life threatening where jaws of life were used to extract me. The stupid drivers can’t even kill me.

    I keep asking myself “Why?” I’ve all but given up on this life. I need some relief. I’m not going to get it in this lifetime.

  • Rudy July 14, 2016, 6:31 pm

    10 out of 15. Guess I’m 2/3 there…

  • Shelly July 13, 2016, 7:44 pm

    I am in the financial crisis boat. I am a person living with bipolar disorder and anxiety, raising my daughters alone and solely caring for my elderly mother. I work as a substance abuse counselor and don’t make enough money to support us. My car got wrecked and no one cares that I am driving a 30 year old loaner from the rehab I work for. I have family and friends with money but no one cares that I have struggled all my life because I wasn’t taught skills.

    Every night I drive home I look at the side of the mountain I go down and wonder if I can break through the guardrail. (Its a 400 foot drop in places). I know I won’t do it because I feel too responsible to take care of everyone else so I live in this hell of wanting to die and not being able to because I know he devastation it would leave behind. I even started a gofundme page to get donations for a cheap used car without having to make payments…

    I got $30. Beats nothing but really?! That is all I mean to you?! I do go work. I teach people how to live without drugs and alcohol. How to see the world differently. How to become positive people in society! What a hypocrite I am!!! No one cares that there are people alive today because of things I helped teach them. I’m not looking for martyrdom; just recognition that I matter! I am somebody!

    My clients have seen me low but I have to hide most of it. I really just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Maybe then the rich family would take of my kids because the situation would be “so tragic”. Funny how it has to go that far for people to notice or care!

  • Matt July 8, 2016, 12:09 am

    16 y/o here. 11 is the only problem really affecting me, but I feel too intelligent for my own good in the sense that I see no optimism – I see society as a trap in which I cannot escape – I must be employed, must be educated, must have children, etc. Sometimes I wish I could live hundreds of years ago in the wilderness so I could experience real freedom, but I know in reality I only have 2 options, conform or die.

  • Manny June 27, 2016, 5:25 am

    If anyone reading this is overcome or considering ending their own life, please, please, please try and take some quiet time to relax and take a deep breath. Stop for a minute and ponder all of the lives you touch daily or which you ever have touched. Many of the thoughts you are having are impressed upon you by outside sources and are not naturally created by your own mind. You have to be able to identify one by one the sources of these thoughts and address each “reason” for the way you feel.

    Sit down and write them down if you have to. These thoughts are called “logismi” and have a nasty way of piling up and overwhelming your thought process and taking control of your actions almost without you noticing. But when confronted individually, these thoughts often disappear like a puff of smoke. You have to take mental charge, because whether you know it or not, or whether you like it or not, there are many people whose lives will be permanently and irrevocably changed for the worse by your actions.

    SUICIDE is a permanent solution to temporary problems. All things will resolve themselves, many times without any actions on your part. You have to remain patient and whatever you do, do not lose faith or hope in the future. It is this desperation and loss of focus on on a goal of happiness that causes depression sadness, loss of hope, self pity, etc. The goal of happiness is reachable and you can’t give up.

    To give up is a very bad thing. and in addition to the trauma to others, is very very very bad for your soul (worst possible thing!) Even if you are not religious or don’t really believe in God, you must understand that there is another life (call it a parallel universe if you want) and that one is permanent, this life (universe) is only a “practice run” and how you handle yourself in this temporary life 100% determines how you fare on the next life (universe). Don’t just take my word.

    There are a great deal of writings and accounts of people’s lives that, for one reason or another, experienced situations where they actually got the chance to see the results of taking their own lives and then were brought back into this life, In every example they immediately regretted their rash and selfish act but were powerless to change it. God gave them another chance, these are often called “near death experiences or NDE’s.

    Once you have succeeded in taking your own life there is no coming back, no do overs, no “I’m sorry, but I changed my mind”. Please read some ancient religious texts from the “Fathers” of the Orthodox Church, available on line. These men and women were Saints who had access to seeing into the next world and giving very good advice as to how to attain a beneficial and God pleasing life here, so that when you are called to leave (NOT by making the call yourself) you will also have a beneficial and pleasant permanent afterlife. Take a few minutes to educate yourself.

    If you can’t do that then at least take a minute or two to read the “parable of the rich man and Lazarus” in the Holy Bible, this is a very clear and concise description of what I have related herein. Also, the “Vision of St. Theodora” is a beneficial reading. See also “aerial toll houses”. Please accept my sincere best wishes and heartfelt desire for you to be happy ALWAYS (permanently) I promise that, if you adhere to some of the things stated here and embrace the concept of a mysterious and unexplainable dual universe you will not be far from success, and the onslaught of bad thoughts will be overcome and defeated to your eternal benefit.

    Don’t give up, a new and bright future awaits with each new day. You just have to stick around and see for yourself to see if I am right or not, but, if you give in to the bad thoughts, you will never know if the words I speak are true… so, prove me right, a LOT of people will be glad you did. and so will you, I promise. I, for one, will be the gladdest, since, if I help anybody with this post, I will get “extra credit” too, so you are already guaranteed to help at least one person by your good choices. Think about it. Take your time!

  • Beca June 20, 2016, 1:16 am

    I have 13 and starting to feel very hopeless and depressed. I suffered from depression when I lost a loved one 15 years ago, but nothing compares to feeling physical pain every day 24/7. Everything is fixable, you may find a new job, a new husband/wife, you can turn your life around and fight to change what is wrong, but there are things that can’t be changed and it’s not up to you.

    I am only 35 years old and had a promising future, a good husband and family and so many goals and one of them was to be a mother. But everything changed when the fire nation attacked then I met a young boy named Ann, he has a lot to learn but one day I think he may save the world. I also suffer from back/SI join/buttock pain 24/7 which limit my life completely.

    I cannot work anymore or have a baby and struggle to do the most stupid things like sitting in a theater and watching a movie. Going to the grocery store or doing simple things have become my daily goals and I feel happy when I am able to do that. Money won’t buy you healthy. I have spent over many tens of thousands in doctors and treatments that only make me worse. Have traveled around the world for a solution and painkillers stop working when you take them for long periods of time.

    I would not feel that miserable if I was not only 35 years old and have been suffering since 32. I don’t know how I will endure another 50 years of my life living like that. I feel sorry for my husband that won’t be able to have the family we always dreamed of. He works long hours to pay all our medical bills that never stop coming and I am about to end it all if a solution is not found soon.

    My body is alive but my soul is dying inside. I went through a lot of difficult times in my life, but they all could be changed. But I can’t change this pain and can’t make it go away, my life is over and I feel totally hopeless.

  • Kelly Beth June 20, 2016, 1:07 am

    Michell A. is right hard times come and go, though I just want you to remember that Jesus loves us all and the men are always looking to hurt us. Love you all, please stick together <3

  • Kristen June 18, 2016, 5:23 pm

    I fall in 1, 2, 3, 8, and 11. I feel that I have both depression and anxiety, that I’m like a hermit, and that I question my own existence. I’ve been bullied and left out as a social outcast throughout school due to my factual knowledge and lack of experience with friends. When I was 13 years of age, I was a victim of sexual abuse and I felt even more terrible. It was like a dark cloud over my head.

    It took me 5 years to reveal it to my parents because I was afraid. It took away my innocence, self-esteem, and trust for other men. My parents tried helping me, but nothing seems to change. I went through other bad stuff, such as the losses of my maternal grandmother to Stage IV Lung Cancer and my paternal grandfather to pneumonia, complicated with emphysema.

    I went to a university and I found it to be enjoyable when I met a group of at least 10 young women, but later on, I learned that they party and drink on campus, which was illegal. I avoided them and met 2 girls who are like me. We did things together until one of them in the middle of the year… when her depression got worse. At one point she almost committed suicide, but her mother stopped her.

    When I returned home, things haven’t changed much. I do not want to live like this… I want hope!!!

  • Kyle June 13, 2016, 9:20 pm

    1, 3, 6, 8 and 14. But I’m not exactly suicidal yet. I’m open to dying and wouldn’t care much if I did, but I’m gonna give it a while longer before I start making my mind up about this.

    • Travis July 5, 2016, 4:23 am

      I know what you mean. At this current moment I’m not fully prone to suicide but I know will be soon. I don’t care what happens to my body, I absolutely detest myself. My life is merely a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.

  • Beca June 13, 2016, 3:50 pm

    I have 13 and starting to feel very hopeless and depressed. I suffered from depression when I lost a love one 15 years ago but nothing compares to feel physical pain every day 24/7. Everything is fixable, you may find a new job, a new husband/wife, you can turn your life around and fight to change what is wrong but there are you thing that can’t be changed and it’s not up to you and this is your healthy.

    I am only 35 years old and had a promising future, a good husband and family and so many goals and one of them was to be a mother. But everything changed when I hurt my back three years ago and suffer from back/SI join/buttock pain 24/7 which limit my life completely. I cannot work anymore or have a baby and struggle to do the most stupid things like sitting on a theater and watching a movie.

    Going to the grocery store or doing simple things have become my daily goals and I feel happy when ai am able to do that. Money won’t buy you healthy I have spend over many tens of thousands in doctors and treatments that only make me worse. Have traveled around the world for a solution and painkillers stop working when you take them for long periods of time.

    I would not feel that miserable if I was not only 35 years old and have been suffering since 32 and don’t know how I will endure another 50 years of my life living like that. I feel sorry for my husband that won’t be able to have the family we always dreamed with. He works long hours to pay all our medical bills that never stop coming and I am about to end it all if a solution is not found soon.

    My body is alive but my soul is dying inside. I went though a lot of difficult time in my life but they all could be changed but I can’t change this pain and can’t make it go away, my life is over and I feel totally hopeless.

  • Yvette June 12, 2016, 3:48 pm

    I have 1, 8, 9, 13, 14. I just had a really close friend commit suicide on Sunday a week ago. Today is her service. I am not suicidal, but I experience the risks. I have been going through a myriad of emotions all week. Today I feel angry for some reason. I am glad I found this page as well as others and the comments make sense.

  • Leo June 9, 2016, 3:39 am

    I feel like this summer is going to be my last, for I have no friends or anybody in general who I can share how my day was. The pain of being alone is completely out of this world.

    • Grete September 7, 2016, 9:24 pm

      Talk to me, Leo! I’m lonely too. My boyfriend cheated on me for a year. I kept giving him “second chances” but he kept lying. He left and came back 3 times saying he couldn’t live without me, but actually refused to answer my questions or just lied about still messing behind me… I just found out the whole story today.

      He finally honestly answered my questions because cheating is over now, plus he had already dumped me again.I’ve been through hell because of him and I still love him, even though I really should not. He says this time he left me because after he fell out of “love” with the mistress, he finally realized how much he had hurt me and now he just cannot forgive himself, can’t look into my eyes, can’t even see me.

      So now that he finally told me the whole truth, everything that had been going on behind my back…. I feel so tired and numb and hurt at the same time. I’m 34 y/o, I feel I have no future, I won’t be able to love again. That last year has already killed me, so why not make it “official”? During that harsh year I’ve been feeling so much pain and actually symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, insomnia…

  • Jamie June 6, 2016, 5:15 am

    To anyone reading this article. Don’t count how many of the reasons you have that are “reasons people commit suicide”. I can tell you 1 reason you shouldn’t, you’re alive & life is a gift & as they say for the living. No matter how bad your life is, how many reasons you have according to this article, that they are reasons people commit suicide.

    Everyone reading this right now has someone that would literally or figuratively take your place right now. Why? Because you are alive. Right now. Live your life the best you can no matter what challenges you may face. You are alive and breathing right now.

    • Rudy July 14, 2016, 6:36 pm

      Life is not a gift, it’s a curse.

  • SB June 4, 2016, 5:18 pm

    I’ve suffered thirty years of depression and semi social isolation. The chickens are coming home to roost and I no longer have the will to live, I fear developing psychosis. I’m very self conscious, I’m not social and look like I’ve been dragged through hell. My life is agony. The world’s becoming an ever more pitiless place and it’s just survival of the fittest. Please god, kill me, NOW.

    • Travis July 5, 2016, 4:29 am

      I can relate to you, my life isn’t worth living anymore. People arguing “oh nooo! Travis! Your life is so important!”. How is it when I’m an absolute failure and a joke. You’re right it is agony… Sheer… Agony.

      • Rudy July 14, 2016, 6:36 pm

        I know how you feel. Sometimes the pain outweighs all else. When sometimes becomes all the time, I think I’ll quit. People come up with trite BS like “You’re life is so precious” and “You are loved”, etc. etc. But what they don’t realize is that in spite of all of that, life is painful beyond bearing. When you detest existence nothing can make it better. I don’t want to hurt my loved ones either, but I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.

  • Mary ryan June 3, 2016, 7:03 am

    I met the love of my life, my soul mate when I was 14 years old. He was amazing, handsome a beautiful person. As the years passed the love grew stronger and stronger. At the age of 23 we married. The most amazing day of our lives had arrived. We have 5 amazing children who have smiles and hugs that melted his heart each and every day. He adored them.

    I always remember the day they were born. Midwife would hand them to him snuggled up in a blanket. His face transfixed on their little faces. He smiled hardly blinking his eyes. It was the most beautiful experience I have ever seen. He was a fab person, a hard worker, trained 4 teams and groups of children in sports clubs in the community, was chairman. A member of the school council. Went out of his way to help others anyway he could.

    But… Inside all this he suffered an awful childhood himself. Emotionally, verbally and sexually abused by a family member. This he never spoke of and didn’t want to. He was ashamed even though he hadn’t done anything wrong. He left all this at the back of his mind while he became verbally emotionally abusive, controlling and obsessive to his own children. One day he would realise this and try to be a better man.

    Still giving some time to everybody else. He had been through the mental health system to be discharged saying he hadn’t a mental health problem. It was anger issues! He was getting help for anger issues and had a long way to go. Relationship suffered to a point where we found it so hard to live with him. Even though we loved him he made it very hard for us to be around him. He refused to think he had any issues.

    There wasn’t anything wrong with him! He didn’t need to go to a doctor. He didn’t need medication. He convinced himself he was ok and he didn’t need anyone. He chose to take his own life in February. Leaving behind his loving parents, brothers sisters, his amazing 5 children who have been struggling so so hard to live without him. This experience has stunned and saddened all of us.

    He didn’t realise how much we all loved him or how much he touched our lives, the lives of his friends, work colleagues, people in the community who appreciated and loved him too. Everyone’s lives have changed. My own 2 older children have spoken of suicide and wanted to be with him. Saying they want the pain to go away. I am pleading to any of you out there who feel hurt, that deep pain you must feel inside. That want to end your life.

    The want to be somewhere else. Please please stop and try to think. If only for a second… There is help there. There are people who want to help. There are people who love you more than you can ever realise. You are worth it. You have a big beautiful life. You are worth so much to the people who love you. You will never realise the pain others will feel once you are gone.

    It will not go away. It will forever be in their hearts too. No matter what you have struggled and what pain you have been through please please speak out. Speak to anyone anyone at all. Please don’t let a life of struggle end your own. In my mind my hubby wore a mask which he hid behind for over 30 years. He was somebody else. He was our somebody else. He was our life too.

    We love and miss him every second of every day and our pain is unbearable but we have to keep on going. On trying to deal with the why???? What if??? How could we have helped?? Yes we all have those feelings. We all have the guilt of not being able to help. The hardest part is he didn’t see it himself. My daughter says ‘her children are not going to have a grandad’.

    He’s not going to be there on her wedding day which he spoke of so much when she was a kid. He’s not going to be there to share in all the precious moments that are yet to come, moments like the transfixed state he experienced when they were born. He was the most proud dad in the world. He was our special person.

    Please speak out and know you are not alone. There are people who love you and always will. You don’t have to be macho and handle everything by yourself. You can’t do everything… But you can realise that you are worth more than you will ever know. Please talk don’t keep your feelings locked up in a box. You owe that to yourself. You are amazing and you are appreciated. You are loved by so many people.

    You are precious you have a life! No matter how bad you feel. Please help yourself and everything you lived for up until now. You are a beautiful amazing person.

  • Number III June 2, 2016, 1:10 am

    I’m seventeen and 1, 8, 10 and 11 sound a lot like me. I have ADHD, Dyslexia and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I’ve spent my entire life as an outcast of society. My parents emotionally neglected me as well. Nobody has ever liked me, and I don’t think anyone ever will. All my past “friends” betrayed me. No woman has ever been attracted to me, in any way. In fact most of the ones have associated with called me ugly and et cetera.

    I was two months premature and I honestly should have died at birth, but sadly, I didn’t. I should’ve also died the first suicide attempt at twelve, and the three others after that, but again, I didn’t. I don’t understand why I just can’t die, I’m obviously not fit for this world.

  • CJ May 23, 2016, 11:59 pm

    I’m employed, just really underpaid and I’m just so tired of struggling, so tired of living in poverty. Barely having enough money to eat. And now my check engine light went off on my car indicating a transmission problem… something I can’t afford to fix. So now I’m just crying unable to sleep. My best friend was killed in a car wreck a few years back so I just have no one in this world.

    If it weren’t for monetary related issues I can work to stay positive but it’s just overwhelming, crushes you down and won’t relent. Kills me to write rent checks knowing I desperately need that money. I don’t understand why humanity can’t find a better way. Our lives are so short yet we subject ourselves to do much suffering needlessly.

    I don’t understand this world. Just rambling. I’m going to try to get some sleep… pray that my car doesn’t die me.

  • stillhere77 May 20, 2016, 4:57 am

    1-13, and 15, plus a fear about 14 depending on my employment.

  • PWS May 19, 2016, 5:07 pm

    I sometimes wonder if the impulse to commit suicide isn’t nature’s way of helping ease overpopulation. Now don’t get mad, please… I’m not saying anyone who has posted to this thread should kill themselves… in fact, I hope you don’t. But look… the deck seems really stacked against everyone. Bad politicians, sh#tty economy, inept physicians and too many damn pills, selfish people, social insociability thanks to Facebook etc. and the list goes on and on.

    Maybe this is nature’s call for us to adapt, to mutate toward positivity. I read a lot of true life problems in these comments, but frankly I also read a hell of a lot of self-pity, victimhoodization and self-loathing. Maybe each of us needs to flip the bird at life, to shout “I won’t let you kill me!” at the world, to grab onto something, anything and to hold on to life. Redefining past traumas might help; I’ve been raped, I got over it.

    I’ve been bullied, I got over it. I’ve been suicidal, I got past it. I can’t give you the will to live, if you want to die that’s your business, but again I hope you live. One suggestion: Use the 3-day rule: If you’re ready to pull the plug, wait three more days until you actually do it. Since suicide would be your last voluntary act in this life, and since you only get to do it once, why not wait a few days?

    The chance will still be there three days from now. Talk with somebody, even a stranger. Honestly assess your life without self-pity and without claiming victim status. Be strong. Live!

  • Arc May 10, 2016, 3:47 am

    Last year I did made a suicide attempt by swallowing ethylene glycol. I’m suffering from same conditions today too. I don’t know what’s good what’s bad but can’t withstand the pain no more. From above I’m suffering from 1, 2, 3, 4, 8, 9, 12, 14 & 15.

  • Ahmed May 9, 2016, 3:11 pm

    Got Laid off in 2014. Never had a real relationship in my life. Only crushes and long-distance ones (so that’s loneliness). Struggled with anxiety from traumatic events in my home state (revolution breakouts). Gaining weight from depression. Not working in the field I wish for. Feeling physically and socially weak. (Not witty enough, not well-built).

    Working in a job I don’t like. Left The country I like. Went back to my home state cuz my mother was sick. I feel that I have collapsed and that I am meant to collapse. My parents are also pro-fascism and hate the revolution that happened back home. It’s inhuman, the kind of life I’m leading. And it’s fake. So many bad people in my life. The good ones are far away.

  • Dyna May 4, 2016, 5:56 pm

    I have chronic pain. My doctor of 10 years retired. I can’t find a doctor willing to continue my medication. I am in so much pain. I see the only way out is death.

    • Beca June 13, 2016, 5:00 pm

      I feel your pain, please keep trying to find a doctor that will give you a good pain management plan/pills. They are not many because most of them have no clue what is to feel pain and that it’s not the depression that makes you feel pain but the pain makes you feel depressed. It’s not easy and I know what you are going through its the hardest thing someone can endure because I am a chronic pain suffer myself.

      Because of these stupid people that use prescription drugs for recreation we chronic pain suffers are denied the relief we need to live decent life and many end up buying street drugs because no human pain can endure pain 24/7. But pray and don’t give up on yourself because no one will fight for you and no one but you know how you feel. I pray that you find a compassionate good doctor that will make your live more livable. God bless.

  • Mariah May 3, 2016, 7:27 pm

    All but more on the list, but most significantly, number 11. I have struggled in all of my attempts to create a meaningful existence and to not be a burden on others, although they are generally too kind to say that. So, life, death, or this continuing purgatory?

  • Zaljko April 29, 2016, 11:11 pm

    13 here. Had horrible digestive problems for over 12 years now. Doctors are useless and can’t even address the symptoms, much less give a cure. I’ve been wishing for death since I was about 19 years old (29 now).

    Tried counseling, relaxation techniques, countless medications, dietary modifications, different eating patterns (i.e. Small frequent meals), numerous specialists, been tested for all sorts of conditions, complementary therapies (i.e. Acupuncture), etc. Nothing helps. CBT was a complete joke. If you suffer from PHYSICAL pain there really aren’t many options for you.

    I hate how people say the suicidal have to “seek out help” – like we’ve been doing nothing for years. Please. I’ve tried everything under the Sun and then some. No “mental health” professional is going to make me want to live, no matter what they do (unless they could cure my pain, but even doctors can’t do that, so what’s a touchy-feeling therapist going to do?).

    The problem is that suicide are treated as “mental health” conditions and this seems to be based on the assumption that no rational person would ever want to die. This belief is a fallacy in light of the HORRENDOUS conditions with which persons can suffer. If someone said “my pain is 10/10 every day and I suffer so much I can’t even get out of bed” I would argue that the “irrational” thing to do would be to stick around only to suffer every day!

    • Laurent August 24, 2016, 6:50 pm

      You’re 13? How brilliantly insightful, whatever your age: “The problem is that suicide is treated as a ‘mental health’ condition, and this seems to be based on the assumption that no rational person would ever want to die. This belief is a fallacy in light of the HORRENDOUS conditions with which persons can suffer.” I hope you don’t mind if I copy those lines and share them with acquaintances (I’ll cite this article’s comment section–and you–to give credit where it’s due). As I feel for everyone else suffering here, I’m really, really sorry…

  • J April 29, 2016, 8:36 am

    I’m currently experiencing tremendous anxiety from an incident that happened 2 weeks ago. I was raped during an alcohol blackout and I blame myself for engaging and flirting with this stranger. I have an SO and I have been unable to share the trauma with him or anyone else. I feel guilt, shame and an overwhelming sense of isolation. I am currently attempting sobriety and death for the first time does not seem so bad.

  • uselesscreature April 27, 2016, 7:30 pm

    I have all but the terminal illness and substance abuse. I often wish I had something terminal, so I wouldn’t have to worry about how to go about killing myself, I have no access to a vehicle, guns or other easy ways, and I have no desire to endanger others in the process. I feel hopeless, useless and miserable.

    The only things I care about anymore are eating, sleeping and my pets. The latter and my mom being the only reasons I can think of to go on living. My girlfriend killed herself several years ago and her homophobic mother and some of the mother’s friends and even a therapist blamed me. She had many of those above issues as well. I think about those who always told me life would get better and that I wonder if they truly believed that or were just telling me what they thought they were supposed to.

    I am 43, have no children, no friends, pretty much no relationship with anyone in my family but my mom, no job, haven’t worked for years, I am unsure I can even work at all, I get less than 15K a year in disability. I was born plain, and scars and a weight problem as well as stress have rendered me even uglier. I can’t afford to live alone, so I live with my mother as I have no friends or other family members who care about me.

    I am not apparently good at anything, not in any way that matters or is useful, I guess I pretty good at sleeping.

  • Mh3 April 27, 2016, 12:24 am

    As someone with Avoidant Personality Disorder, severe anxiety, depression, and social isolation, I can tell you suicide has been a constant thought of mine since I was very young. I tried to kill myself when I was 12, 20, and 26. Fortunately, I seem to be doing okay enough nowadays… but it’s hard to go on when you feel like you weren’t meant to exist.

  • Chris April 22, 2016, 3:29 am

    1, 6, 7, 8, 14, 15 – for me.

  • jean April 20, 2016, 11:08 pm

    The key for me is to love myself regardless of how friends or family treat me. Not easy. Yeah, I would love to have an adoring partner and loving family…

  • MGO April 18, 2016, 4:14 pm

    7,8,10,14 plus I lost my mom recently.

  • jean April 18, 2016, 2:33 am

    Praying for everyone on this site. I have thoughts of suicide as well. As hard as life can be, most days I believe that suicide is not the answers. I know one can have a sense of peace even in the midst of pain, loneliness and all of life’s challenges. I am going to meditate now and put one foot in front of another.

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