Suicide is defined as the act of intentionally causing one’s own death. There are many factors that play a role in influencing whether someone decides to commit suicide. Nearly everyone experiences suicidal thoughts at one point or another throughout their existence. Everyone deals with tough times, but some people have been dealt a tougher hand when it comes to life circumstances, past trauma, mental and/or physical illness, social standing, and ability to cope with depressive emotions.
People are most driven to suicide when they view their current situation as being completely hopeless and feel as if they have no way to change things for the better. Common causes of suicide include: depression, drug abuse, financial problems, as well as difficulties with relationships. Although there are crisis hotlines that have been developed to help people feeling suicidal, the jury is out as to whether they even help.
Some ideas for preventing suicide include things like: banning firearms, developing better treatment for mental illness, and economic improvement. Most people that commit suicide do so because they are in some sort of pain and cannot seem to find a way out. Much work still needs to be done on coming up with more effective ways to help individuals that struggle with suicidal thinking as up to 1,000,000 people die every year from suicide. Listed below are some of the most common causes of suicide throughout the world.
15 Common Causes of Suicide: A List of Possibilities
Listed below are some common causes of suicide and a brief explanation regarding why it may lead a person to become suicidal. The most common cause of suicide is untreated depression, as 90% of individuals who commit suicide are depressed. However, there are other causes beyond the realm of mental illness that should be discussed including: trauma, drug addiction, existential crises, chronic pain, and terminal illnesses.
1. Mental illness
Among the most common causes of suicide is that of mental illness. Although there are a variety of treatment options for people with mental illnesses, they are far from perfect. Most people end up trying a variety of psychiatric drugs and/or talk therapies. After years of trying various medications (and cocktails), going through medication withdrawals, and experimenting with therapies, some people are stuck in a constant state of mental pain and despair.
- Anxiety: Having generalized anxiety, social phobia, panic attacks, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can drive a person crazy. Some forms of anxiety make it extremely difficult to maintain friendships, finish school, or hold down a steady job. The combination of loneliness and fear can lead a person to contemplate suicide.
- Bipolar disorder: There are a couple of subtypes of Bipolar disorder, but essentially it involves fluctuations in mood from states of severe depression to elevations in mood such as mania and hypomania. These mood fluctuations can make it difficult for people with this disorder to maintain relationships and a balanced life. Additionally the depression can lead a person to feel suicidal.
- Depression: Major depression is a leading cause of suicide throughout the world. People that do not treat their depressive symptoms have a greater risk for following through with suicide. Individuals with major depression are typically genetically wired in a way that makes it difficult to feel pleasure and happiness in life. 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from untreated depression.
- Schizophrenia: This is a highly severe mental illness with an array of symptoms including severe depression, hallucinations, and cognitive impairment. Having this illness makes it difficult to function in life and can serve as a major challenge due to the fact that most medications to treat this illness carry severe side effects. Anywhere from 20% to 40% of people with this illness attempt suicide.
2. Traumatic Experience
Any type of traumatic experience can lead a person to feeling helpless, guilty, and/or ashamed. If you were victim of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and/or dealt with trauma in war, you are much more likely to end up with post-traumatic stress disorder. This disorder and the feelings associated with traumatic experiences can lead a person to become suicidal.
PTSD: Many people with PTSD or “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” develops after a person is faced with a traumatic experience such as warfare, being seriously injured, or assaulted. The illness is characterized by flashbacks and numbing or blockage of memories surrounding the traumatic experience. People with this illness often live in a state of intense, and sometimes debilitating anxiety and/or fear that can interfere with leading a normal life. When people feel helpless about their situation and permanently traumatized, they may turn to suicide.
- Physical abuse: People who are victim to physical abuse either growing up or in a relationship can be traumatized. They may harbor feelings of guilt and shame that stay trapped inside for years. When someone is abused it may go unrecognized and unreported for an extended period of time. A person who is being physically abused may view suicide as the only way in which they can escape their situation.
- Sexual abuse: Any form of sexual abuse can lead a person to feeling depressed and suicidal. In cases of molestation and rape, a person is forced to perform sexual acts against their will. This can result in significant psychological trauma caused to the victim. When unreported or not addressed, this trauma can make a person feel highly suicidal.
- War: Being involved in a war can lead a person to see death, horrendous injuries, and feel fearful for their own life. This intense anxiety and paranoia over whether the soldier will stay alive coupled with seeing others die and injured can lead to trauma. People see things in war that make them physically sick and in many cases, they have a tough time mentally healing. The lack of support for veterans and not understanding their psychological diagnosis can sometimes result in suicide.
3. Bullying
Most people experience bullying to some degree while growing up and going through school – it’s an inevitable part of life. Bullying can have a profound effect on the way people think and how they feel. Most people that are bullied end up feeling extremely depressed, worthless, and hopeless to change their situation.
Unfortunately in many cases, bullying goes completely unrecognized until the victim can’t take it anymore and sees suicide as the only way to escape the pain that they are experiencing. Some kids view bullying others as a way to fit in and/or prove themselves in regards to social hierarchy. Kids that get bullied are often viewed as being either physically weak and/or socially weak to not come up with witty responses.
Additionally, now there is a phenomenon called “cyber bullying” in which people fall victim to being bullied online. This happens on social media sites, comments sections of websites, and various blogs that aim to ruin people’s reputations and make people feel ashamed. When a person is bullied online and/or has privacy exposed online, they may view a ruined reputation as the end of the world and feel helpless to change their situation – which could lead to suicide.
4. Personality Disorders
Personality disorders can be closely related to mental illness, but are considered a set of traits that make it difficult to function within society. People with a personality disorder may have trouble maintaining relationships, holding down a steady job, and/or coping with life. For example, someone with dependent personality disorder may be too afraid to leave an abusive relationship. This “dependency” may lead the person with this disorder to consider suicide as an escape from their circumstances.
On the same token, avoidant personality disorder can lead individuals to avoid social contact because they are afraid they will be rejected or won’t fit in. This can result in feelings of isolation and a person thinking that they will never have any friends. An individual with a personality disorder may feel as if there is no hope for escaping the problems caused by their personality and may consider suicide.
The bottom line is that if you have a personality disorder, you are at increased risk of suicide. The personality disorder that is most associated with increased suicide risk is that of borderline personality disorder (BPD). This disorder is characterized by impulsive behavior, difficulty regulating emotions, and instability in relationships.
5. Drug Addiction / Substance Abuse
People that are addicted to drugs and/or abuse drugs or alcohol on a consistent basis are more likely to become depressed. Many people use drugs to escape painful feelings of depression and hopelessness of their current life situation. Being addicted to drugs or alcohol may provide some short-term relief from the pain that they feel, but over the long term, drug use tends to alter brain functioning and neurotransmitters.
Eventually a person will build up such a high tolerance to whatever drug they are addicted to, that they won’t experience anymore lift in mood that they got when they first started using. In many cases, substance abuse can temporarily change the way we think by altering neurotransmitter levels and overall brain function.
If you have an addiction, it could escalate to feelings of deep depression. You may feel helpless to overcome whatever addiction you face and some people see suicide as an only way out of the addiction trap.
6. Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are defined as a series of dysfunctional eating patterns that satisfy the person in ways other than nutrition. Many eating disorders are thought to be caused by body image problems, low self-esteem, and other mental health issues. It is thought that eating disorders are a way a person attempts to cope with unrelated issues such as: abuse, troublesome emotions, communication problems, or an identity crisis.
By eating in a certain way it allows the person to feel a sense of control over their life and situation. Â A common disorder is that of anorexia, which is the refusal to eat enough food to maintain a healthy body weight. Others include: bulimia, compulsive overeating, and purging disorder. All of these disorders tend to affect both physical and mental health negatively.
A person dealing with an eating disorder may constantly feel suicidal as a result of a nutrient-deficient diet. Â Poor diets can lead a person to feel depression and constant negative emotions. Â Only when the diet is corrected can a person experience improvements in mental health and pain associated with their situation. Â Additionally in cases of eating disorders, other underlying issues usually need to be addressed in therapy before progress can be made.
7. Unemployment
Being unemployed can lead to feelings of isolation and make your life feel as if it is void of purpose. With a poor economy, many people lose their jobs and look for new work, but since the competition is fierce, landing a new job can be difficult. In many cases being unemployed not only makes people feel as if they have no purpose in life, it can lead to depression over lack of an income as well.
Individuals who are unemployed aren’t earning any money and may get especially stressed out when it comes time to pay bills. Being unable to earn money and provide for yourself and/or a family can result in significant depression and anxiety. In addition to unemployment, hating your current job can also lead to suicidal thoughts and possibly actions if you feel as if there is no alternative option.
Employment provides most people with a sense of purpose and belonging to a specific group or company. Â If you are unemployed you may find yourself socially isolated and lacking purpose and structure in your day. Â Being employed helps individuals stay busy and can actually take their mind off of
8. Social Isolation / Loneliness
Being socially isolated from society can take a toll on mental health and lead a person to become depressed and consider suicide. Socializing and interacting with other people is a basic human need. If social needs are not met, a person can start to feel lonely which leads to depression and possibly suicidal thoughts. Loneliness is defined as a general feeling of sadness as a result of being alone or feeling disconnected from others.
Isolation is being separated from others in your environment. Someone can become isolated based on circumstances (i.e. employment) or as a result of personal decisions. Various reasons that a person could feel lonely or isolated include: living alone, death of a close friend or family member, poor physical health, mental illness, being introverted, fear of rejection, and/or retirement.
Living isolated from others can lead to an array of problems including mental health conditions, low energy, substance abuse, negative feelings, and/or sleep problems. If the loneliness and/or social isolation is not addressed, it may lead someone to consider suicide as an escape from their situation.
9. Relationship problems
Many people struggle with relationships including: being in abusive relationships, not feeling appreciated, and/or going through break-ups. There are many different types of relationships that a person could struggle with. Some people may have difficulties making friends and maintaining a close group for socialization. Others may struggle with staying in abusive relationships just so that they can avoid feeling isolated and lonely.
The need for human belonging is so strong that some people are willing to join gangs and/or humiliate themselves just to be in a relationship with another person. As far as romantic relationships are concerned, the act of a break-up can trigger intense feelings of depression, anxiety, guilt and panic – leading a person to deal with a lot of emotional pain. Often times in the news we read about people committing suicide as the result of a break-up with a significant other.
Among individuals that are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered, the leading cause of suicide isn’t family rejection, it’s relationship troubles. Most research suggests that these individuals deal with significantly more relationship stress than those who are heterosexual.
10. Genetics / Family History
A lot of suicide risk has to do with genetics and family history. Those who are from a family in which suicide is common are more likely to commit suicide themselves. Additionally if a mental illness is inherited such as major depression, this can further increase risk of suicide. Family, twin, and adoption studies have all established genetic links to suicidal behavior.
Various traits including: aggression, borderline personality disorder, cognitive inflexibility, and stress sensitivity are all linked to influencing suicidal behavior. If you inherit any of these traits, they could put you at an increased risk of suicide. Although there is a genetic link, it is not certain as to what degree this affects someone’s decision to follow through with the act of suicide.
Additionally epigenetics or the activation or deactivation of genes based on environmental factors is thought to play a role. In other words, your circumstances, the people you hang out with, where you live, etc. could all influence your genetic expression and thus be partially influential in determining whether a person becomes suicidal.
11. Philosophical Desire / Existential Crisis
When life seems void of meaning, people tend to question why they are even living and/or the entire purpose of their existence. This is often referred to as an “existential crisis” and can be difficult to overcome because people dealing with this issue often think themselves in circles of logic as to why there is no point to life. In many cases, people facing an existential crisis consider suicide because they feel as if their entire existence is void of purpose.
This crisis can result from major depression, trauma, loneliness, seeking meaning and/or general dissatisfaction with life. Some reports suggest that this crisis may affect individuals with above-average levels of intelligence. Facing an existential crisis can be difficult and can take awhile to get over. Usually the individual needs to make some sort of changes in life for their existential outlook to change.
I personally have faced this crisis and would spend entire days dwelling on the fact that life is pointless and that eventually I’m going to face either: an afterlife or nothingness when I die. This crisis can last years and result in highly suicidal feelings if not addressed in some way.
12. Terminal Illness
Many people with terminal illnesses that have no hope of improving their situation based on current science and medicine may become depressed. This depression is usually a result of feeling powerless to one’s condition. People with terminal illnesses aren’t able to treat or make any sort of improvement towards getting better. In many cases they are simply living and being controlled by the impairments that their illness causes.
Terminal illnesses such as various types of cancer usually leave a person frustrated, shocked and feeling hopeless. Other terminal illnesses end up causing physical or other handicaps and take a serious toll on a person’s energy levels, willpower, and ability to partake in daily functions. Many elderly individuals who are terminally ill have fought for euthanasia rights and/or traveled to other countries where it has been legalized.
13. Chronic Pain
If you have chronic pain, it means that you have had daily pain that has persisted for between three and six months. This pain often impairs your ability to function throughout the day and can affect mobility, the ability to perform certain tasks, and even a person’s mental health. Although pain levels differ among chronic pain sufferers, one thing that they all have in common is an inability to escape the daily discomfort associated with their pain.
They may take painkillers just to make it through the day, but these painkillers are not considered a “cure,” and many people find them relatively ineffective once they build up a tolerance. There aren’t many promising treatment options for people that have chronic pain other than various forms of therapy and medication. Dealing with pain on a daily basis can drive some people into depression, and in some cases, suicide.
14. Financial Problems
People who are struggling financially sometimes see no end in sight to their debt and bills. The financial stress can take a major toll on a person’s mental health. There have been cases of even millionaires committing suicide because they spent all of their money or had to file for bankruptcy. In a difficult economy, unemployment is linked to increased financial stress, but even if you are employed, you may still have financial problems.
Those who have accumulated a serious amount of debt as a result of an unforeseen emergency, excessive shopping, and/or medical bills may panic and feel suicidal when they can’t pay their bills. The stress of having a poor credit score and constant phone calls from bill collectors may make some people feel ashamed and hopeless to change their financial situation.
Although most people in financial troubles eventually end up working their way out of debt, some people are afraid to deal with this situation. In the event that a person becomes embarrassed about their finances and feels depressed about their debt, they may consider suicide as a way to escape this situation.
15. Prescription Drugs
The side effects of various prescription drugs such as antidepressants can result in suicidal ideation. In other words, these drugs affect levels of neurotransmitters that can sometimes put a person at increased risk for suicide. Some antidepressants actually end up making people significantly more depressed because they are targeting neurotransmitter levels, when the original cause of depression wasn’t a result of a chemical imbalance. Â (Read the article, “Can antidepressants cause suicidality?” for more information).
Although many people respond well to SSRI’s that prevent the reuptake of serotonin, thereby increasing serotonin levels in the brain, others have poor reactions. There are black box warnings on most antidepressants stating that they may cause an increase in suicidal thinking. In addition to feeling suicidal while on antidepressants, many people end up with a chemical imbalance upon withdrawal from these drugs. Â It is also disputed as to whether dopamine vs. serotonin is more important or whether low norepinephrine causes depression.
The chemical imbalance is usually caused by changes in neurotransmitter levels and functioning as a result of taking an antidepressant. In many cases serotonin levels are abnormally low when a person withdraws from an SSRI, leaving the person to feel even more depressed and suicidal than they originally were. It takes the brain awhile to recover after withdrawal and reestablish normal serotonin levels. Â Further recommended reading: Do antidepressants cause a chemical imbalance?
Other psychiatric drugs that can lead a person to feel suicidal include: antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. It is always important to monitor sudden changes in mood while taking a psychiatric drug so that suicide can be prevented. Most people are lead to believe that psychiatric drugs will always work to prevent suicide, when in reality if someone has a bad reaction, they can actually trigger these thoughts.
Why do some people kill themselves in these situations?
Feeling trapped and unable to cope with a particular situation in life tends to lead people to consider suicide. Whether a person has been dealing with a mental illness, faced trauma, or they have been bullied at school, it is the pain and continuous suffering from these experiences that becomes overwhelming. When pain exceeds our abilities to cope, we feel hopeless to change and feel suicidal.
It is important to recognize that pain is an inevitable part of life, everyone deals with pain to a certain extent. Escaping the everyday pain and suffering associated with life is impossible. So what can be done if you are suicidal? Either find a way to reduce the amount of pain you are experiencing and/or increase your coping resources.
If you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, be sure to seek professional help. The article I wrote called “I Want To Die” may provide you with some useful suggestions as to where you can get help for yourself if you feel hopeless. In many cases, the pain leading a person to feel suicidal can be overcome and reduced to the point where an individual is able to find pleasure and purpose in life again.
All but 5 and 6…I’m at my breaking point. Numbness, Emptiness, Hopeless, Lonely.
Don’t give up. You are not alone.
Michelle talk to me. Tell me more as I think I know what you are feeling. I lost my daughter and simply feel empty. Let’s talk, we can help each other. What do you think?
I suffer from anxiety and depression, I have for longer than I can remember. It has gotten to a point where I have daily anxiety attacks and I am living a life of constant fear. I would never want anyone to live that life and I’m sorry for everyone who does, I hope someday they find happiness, joy and a life free of pain. I lost my job in September of 2015, I have struggled to find one since and I have gotten to the point where ending my life always lingers in the back of my mind.
Dear Jennifer, Don’t give up. I’ve been looking for three years for a job. The right thing will come along when the time is right. It is incredibly frustrating though. Apply to everything. Good luck. Remember suicide is permanent and if you give it 24 hours your view may change. I know as you can read from my prior posts. Peace. Elaine
My dog just curled up next to my hip. He is my reason for still being here. And the love of my husband staying beside me and not wanting to disappoint my treaters to deal with a completed suicide. That’s what I’m thinking about tonight. Hope it inspires others.
I have attempted suicide over 30 times in my life, gone broke paying for treatment over 30 years I’m 45. I am severely depressed and considered killing myself again today. I took a moment got my pets and blew bubbles with them and laughed at their response also used play-dough for the impulses colored reached out to my therapist and husband and thought about coloring. I still feel very very depressed but I made it through the moment.
That’s all I have left to change and make better. My health is really really bad and I need 4 surgeries in the next year and can’t pay. I don’t know how I’m alive but I am trying every F’n day to find my inspiration to make it through. Please everyone make me count and get yourselves something positive to fight for. Posting hopelessness will cause more suicides. Make my post matter and get help and I will try too.
I lost my mom 3 months ago to suicide. My mind has been going a million miles an hour daily, I feel like I understand somewhat because she suffered from bipolar disorder, but then I really don’t. It’s wearing me out and I can’t stop thinking about what I should’ve done or shouldn’t have done or if it’s my fault. She was fine 3 days prior and then bam she’s gone…it just gets worse everyday.
She still had so many years left and was a grandma to a 2 year old and 6 month old, she was the happiest person who kept everyone else smiling and loving life because of her great personality. I don’t know how I’m ever going to be happy again and accept that she’s gone. I feel like I’m somewhat depressed by this.
I don’t think your mom would want you to think it’s your fault. Suicide reasons are complicated and Bipolar disorder is very hard to understand. I know if I ever follow through it would only be my fault I chose it. And would not want others to feel guilty about it and she probably would have felt the same. Hope you find comfort in my posting.
My dad committed suicide at the age of 49 April 5th 2015. Growing up he had it all fame free bikes in a movie as a BMX pro life was simple. A few things happened and he’s working has me and my sister and 2 years later is getting divorced. Obviously very young I went with my dad and my sister went with my mom. I grew up with my dad and watched him abuse drugs almost become a pga golfer build amazing decks for homes. He wasn’t extremely abusive but I definitely had fists swung at me and countless arguments.
I even woke up on the ground after one argument and he repeated to tell me a passed out which over years f*cked me up in the head. I dropped out of high school at the age of 17 after what felt like millions of panic attacks and ditching school because the feeling of not knowing what was wrong with my scared me so much that staying home inside all day is what my life became. I would try going out and being normal but still battling panic attacks on the regular soon took over again.
I got offered to work with a friend and live with his family after being threatened to be kicked out which I should have been for doing nothing. I worked for about 2 weeks and asked to come home under one condition… Go to my grandparents and get my GED. I agreed and did it pretty easily. I got some confidence and my dad got me a job at a place he had been working at for some time. I was there for about 3 years and my dad had been seeing an old girlfriend and got her pregnant.
She told him I don’t want anything to do with you I just want child support… Cool right? So he started paying out the a-s-s on child support then his truck got totaled and has to get a car payment with full coverage on top of a house payment and other bills. He shortly met up with another old girlfriend who was a raging alcoholic and so was he I forgot to mention. After a few months of drinking and doing nothing but my dad was eventually let go from his job of 8 years.
I quite shortly after and got an outstanding job making good money while I watched my dad get worse. We would argue about money because I was paying all the bills and things were not good. I would avoid coming home and when I would I would fear finding him over dosed from alcohol and prescription drugs like Xanax. He promised me he would never take his own life and told me that is would be a very selfish act. I warned his parents my mom his brother anyone I thought would care and only got small responses.
I built him his resume and everyday after work would try for hours to find him a job and get many interviews with little luck. He started having random seizures snd that is when things went from bad to worse. I wanted to get away and see if that would help and the day I was moving we got into because I think he was scared and instead of telling me we just yelled and screamed. I told him this isn’t how it should be and he agreed and I was off to a new state.
I didn’t speak to him for 3 days so I texted him and said I made it safely and said I loved him. We would argue randomly over text because he wouldn’t answer my calls anymore. I actually told him I wish he would overdose and never wake up again. That shit haunts me to this day. Weeks go bye and it’s my birthday and he says he loves me and I told him how I wanted to move back and he said that would be fine. I really just needed to get away for a little and almost regroup to tackle this with him.
4 days later and it’s Easter and in telling my moms family how when I google my dads name nothing really pops up about his BMX career or his movie he was in. Not an hour later I get a phone call from my grandma saying my dad had passed away. On Easter. Ruined my moms boyfriends families day by me losing it along with my mom. At this point I’m just in a weird funk like damn, I just talked to him about me moving back within a week and everything was going to be all good!
I have very mixed emotions on suicide. After this it has brought back horrible anxiety issues for me I have been ran out of the house I grew up with him in and now I’m loosing/gaining hope. I read articles and relate and feel relieved that I’m not the only one but at the same time want to help. There are people that will help and people that won’t. It also solely relies on the person dealing with issues and that is it. I have been on an emotional roller coaster this last year and I am coming to realize that you control your emotional outcome and you can get better if you want.
Stop saying I can then getting scared and running away. I do it everyday and I will make it a promise to you all of you starting now I will give it my best effort to push my limits of enxiety and fears of being alone to gain my pride and independence back. I have done it once before and will do it agin. To the people that actually read this thank you and I hope it helps you in some way. I’m scared to and feel alone, but I know if I believe in myself and want to get better and want to be happy I will need to work hard at it.
I know even if I have a bad day or whatever that I am trying and things will get better. I love you and many others do to, you just need to find the ones worth keeping around and focus on making you happy. That is all that matters. What does it matter if little things scare you? Just work at it and find little ways to get past those fears. Email me at mclainf[@]gmail.com if you need anything. Today is February 7th 2016.
You are a wonderful person and I will be hoping for the best for you… heck I think it is a given… you are very strong in a beautiful and sensitive way.
All my pain, reduced to a few numbers. On a plus note I have learned that I really ought avoid the following numbers in lotto: 1,4,5,8,9,11,12,15. I don’t do the lotto.
I’m directly affected by items 7 – Unemployment and 14 – Financial Problems, to the extent where I FIRMLY believe that suicide is my ONLY solution… I’m 57 years old, divorced and owe over $300,000 to my bank. Most of the debt is for the loan on the house that I am living in and unless some miracle occurs, the bank will sell it on auction (probably for about 1/3 its market value), after which I’ll be instantly homeless. I expect this will occur within the next 8 weeks.
I got divorced and lost my job in the same month – July last year and I have applied for over 100 jobs since – ALL applications promptly rejected, of course. I feel like I am a hopeless, useless and worthless bag of garbage. I guess that would be because in reality, that’s what I must be. Nobody wants me and nobody cares, but that’s not important, I can live with that – being alone isn’t bad really.
What I cannot cope with is the fear of being homeless and totally penniless for the rest of my life I don’t like the idea of living in parks or in the wilderness, especially in cold, wet weather. I am almost constantly sobbing day-in day-out because I see no way out of this at all. Suicide I believe, is a savior from the infinite humiliation I am destined to suffer otherwise…
Oh yeah and just to put the icing on the dreadful cake that represents my hopeless life: I also had to cash in ALL of my superannuation to settle my divorce, so now I have NOTHING. The only glimmer of hope I am clinging to now is that I might win Lotto. Seriously. I know that seems INSANE, but is it?
What other hope do I have? I am old, useless and above all: UNEMPLOYABLE… I invest a very small amount on that each week and pray that my numbers will one day prove lucky. I NEVER used to gamble before all this happened and I even advised others how they were only ‘buying false hope’. Waiting for the Lotto numbers to be drawn is the ONLY reason I am still alive.
It would be pretty unfortunate if I hung myself and the next day my numbers were drawn and I won $5,000,000.00! I see no other solution. I don’t want to listen to councillors, therapists or psychologists and their patronizing words (that make me feel even MORE worthless) any longer. I have grown tired of this world and its cruelty, so I am leaving it, very soon. Good luck to everyone who may be experiencing similar…
I’ll be your friend. my problems seem so inferior to yours. I am also a lot younger than you. I wish I could do something to help all these people here. I am severely depressed, but my reasons are not as valid.
Thank you Celine, that’s very charitable of you. I can see you must be a very kind and caring person, to offer to help someone who is as hopeless and worthless as me. However, in all honesty I think I will only make YOU feel worse. I am beyond help now. Suicide is really the only solution to end my unbearable pain. I am a waste of space.
It really infuriates me to know that I am in PERFECT physical health (even compared to someone much younger), yet nobody wants me. I’m just useless old rubbish, so why bother living in that knowledge? I have tried recently to further educate myself, however I could not complete the course work, because the overwhelming stress and FEAR I’m constantly feeling, shortened my attention span to less than 5 minutes!
Even if I had a clear head and was able to concentrate without the STRESS I’m bogged down with, it would take at least 1 year to gain a qualification, which MIGHT increase my chances of being employed again. In 8 weeks time they will take my home. There simply isn’t time. Thanks for your kindness Celine, but I am beyond help now…
You’re young, so for God’s sake please think of your whole life, not just the next year or 2 ahead. That’s the BIG mistake I made: No contingency plans – nothing like money saved for emergencies, just totally irresponsible. Too busy giving whatever surplus money I had to other people I felt sorry for, but now all of a sudden, I’m 57 years old and have NOTHING left for me…
Finally, if there’s one good thing I can say about myself (albeit something that ultimately resulted in my demise), it would be that I am a very selfLESS person. Until now, ALWAYS helping others wherever possible. I am now paying for those numerous acts of kindness with my LIFE.
I fell in love (at 46) with a 59 year old man who was talking about not wanting to live himself. I could not imagine the world without such a lovely man in it. Really. He did not even know anyone cared about him or found him attractive. He was 99,000 in debt with no retirement savings. I am disabled. We worked together, learned to live simply, and the debt is paid. We still struggle at everything. But life is worth hanging on to for now.
That is beautiful.
Dude, I am 64 and just got a permanent job with a great company with good pay and good benefits. How did I get it? I have been a contract technical writer since 2002. In all that time, I haven’t done well, but I’ve survived. Now, at 64, one of those contract positions has become permanent. I guess I’m trying to say, don’t give up. You never know when the wheel of fortune will come around to your side.
Walt, I am glad to hear that you were able to make something out of the career of technical writing. I am considerably younger than you at about 40 years old. I recently walked away from a (contracting) career as a technical writer. I reached the ceiling of about 90k/year and was miserable. I resigned months ago.
I don’t know how I’m going to make it. But I sure hope that this gives you the security you need in your permanent position, and that the constant insecurity of such a career is not minimized enough where you can feel you are making a true contribution and being compensated for that fairly, in a way that benefits you. Wish you the best of luck — it’s tough out there. Hang in.
I feel worthless. My husband of 26+ years has not touched me since June. He said he is not interested. I am unemployed do to no fault of my own and he will not help me with any of my bills. I have eaten like a pig and gained 20 lbs. I cry daily. I feel as though my kids only need, me when they need a favor.
I have a golden retrievers and she is neglected because I never want to leave the house. I have a felon background and can not find a job so my husband yells at me. He makes fun of me. He never buys me presents for holidays or birthdays. He won’t help out around house and talks to me like I am a fat ugly waste of his time.
I have no friends because every time I have one he accuses me of being gay. I can never do the things I want, like choose a vacation site because he pays for the vacations. I am lost. Death sounds so much easier. Everyday I get closer. I am so lonely.
Try to learn to love yourself. Your flaws are perfectly designed. You are an amazing being – look in the mirror. Those eyes connect to the most powerful bio-computer in the known universe. The body is always changing – you gained weight – so you can lose weight – but only if you want – but don’t do it for anyone other than yourself.
The road to recovery for many starts with the dumping of toxic relationships. Being a ghost can be a good thing. You are free from earthly (stupid, pusillanimous, small minded) bindings. I inwardly consider myself a phantom, and enjoy it much of the time now that I have learned not to put up with people’s BS. Try growing something beautiful.
Plant a seed in a cup on the windowsill. Take baby steps. Dr. Bronner of castille soap fame spoke to a suicidal person on a radio show at one point. He told her to hang up and go clean her house. If you can’t deal with the house, try laundry. Or something. Write the darkness down (or paint it, or scribble it) for 15 minutes and burn the paper.
Put on some music and move your body. If you are crying, go find something nice to eat. If you are fat, and depressed, eat what you want…depression will kill you quicker. One thing at a time. If you can’t do this for yourself, please do it for someone you love. Remember love does not have to be a two way street. Love anyway. Sit by water. Watch birds. Pick up some trash.
Find a way to be a part of the world. I wish I could take everyone here and hold them in my arms. I tried two times. I fight chronic pain and lack of good sleep with the thoughts of not wanting to be here occupying space every day. It is a choking feeling of “I can’t do it, I am not good enough, I have no energy, I want to end my pain.”
But I changed my life enough to hang in there, and found a wonderful man who makes me feel like I am not alone on the planet. I live in a beautiful place with very little and money is not everything. I took a huge leap and would be dead now if I had not. I try to make the world a better place by picking up litter and teaching people about nature and why it is valuable.
I do feel our world is crumbling, and if every one of you out there decided to do something about it, your life would shine with purpose and meaning, and we might just survive as a species. Every day we live is a triumph.
Let me start by saying, what a great article! I could relate to almost every one of those, but #8 is by far the hardest and biggest hurdle to overcome. That loneliness and isolation makes me feel that I’m unworthy, not liked, and that somehow I’m flawed. I sit at home alone, and think, why doesn’t anyone like me? What did I do so wrong to end up like this?
It’s a shame that there is still a major stigma around mental illness and that more people don’t understand the toll depression, anxiety, and other mental illness takes on you when you’ve been fighting the demon for so long!! “Depression is like living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.”
I think most of the people who do suicide are very selfish people and self centered. Their world is “I” and “I”. “I am not good, I do not have a job, I am not intelligent, I am not smart, Nobody cares for me, I do not have a friend, I do not have a friend, I am useless, not hope for me” and so on. This tendency of “I” should be removed from a child from beginning.
The problem that lies behind the “I” you criticize is that many people who feel suicidal feel too toxic to think in terms of “we”. In many cases it’s more complicated than “from today my attitude will be X and not Y”.
And sometimes, thinking in terms of “we” can be even more dangerous, especially when they do no good. It always depends on the particular situation.
Obviously you do not understand what it feels like to be suicidal. Sorry for you with a lack of understanding.
Depression is a world that’s hard to leave. I can only say that depression has much, much more to it than the consistent pessimism you’ve took notice to. With my understanding of your view-point, I can only confidently say that depression/suicide is not selfish. There’s a wide difference between somebody whose attitude is their decision and somebody who cannot see any differently. I say this with all due respect to you.
It is ironic how you started your post with the word “I”. That aside, human beings and entitled to self-inspection when they are hurting or depressed. For example, if you have an external wound, do you let it fester, or do you think “what am *I* going to do about it?”
Do you go to a doctor and say, “*I* have a wound, please help *me*?” or do you say, “please help someone else?” Similarly, if someone has an internal wound, they *should* focus on themselves. I don’t understand the basic premise of your post.
For me it is #1,2,8,14. But mostly #8, because it seems to be the biggest source of my issues. I love him, and that’s why it hurts so bad when he gets angry (often over the silliest things or things I’ve got no control over). If he’s had a bad day at work, we all have to walk on eggshells. Or if he thinks someone looked at him the wrong way, or if someone driving on the road pissed him off, etc., etc. I don’t know how else to make him understand that he needs to stop throwing temper tantrums at me every time something doesn’t go his way.
First of all Anon, try baking soda mixed with lemon when brushing your teeth. Don’t brush your tongue. Use a smooth plastic tool to scrape your tongue instead. Secondly, Trauma is probably the biggest factor in depression and this article doesn’t mention some very important indicators. 1. Early life trauma is something you have no cognitive memory of, but the memory exists in cellular memory. So yes, it’s recorded in every cell of your body.
The brain doesn’t develop cognitive memory until that portion of the brain is formed at about age 3.5 – 4 years old. Trauma treatment has been non existent until recently. Check Peter Levine to learn about trauma and recovery. He’s associated with others who are gleaning help for trauma which is also from emotional abuse (not mentioned above). Also check NIACBM, (probably .org) but google that to get help. Additionally the newest science is epigenetics.
Google epigenetics and grandmother, to read a discovery magazine article that’s an introduction to how severe trauma from an ancestor is passed, not genetically, but epigenetically to offspring. This is the fastest growing field of medicine and cancer has been successfully treated due to studies in epigenetics. It’s also impacts obesity, depression and eventually probably every field of medicine. When I search anything now, I search it with epigenetics in the subject. This will often reveal a government site with latest research.
So try epigenetics and depression, for instance. Also the best Therapy for any depression likely is not behavioral therapy, but dialectical behavioral therapy. This was designed by Marsha Linehan in the mid 90’s and is based on mindfulness, a Buddhist tradition, this is the only therapy that benefits Borderline Personality Disorder, btw, (once thought untreatable completely). Borderline represents a catch 22 mentality.
The patient with this disorder will not try to get help, it must be implemented for them by others. So please don’t think you’re stuck with nowhere to turn. These new therapies are moving along at a fast clip. Maybe at times not fast enough but they’re good tools nonetheless, pursue these in order to gain a better understanding of your condition than your medical profession has been aware of.
I want to end my life. I have 2 small children and a partner that is also my best friend. I have a work mate that is my best friend too and only these 2 people know how I feel about my life. I hate it. I have. No patience with my kids. I have no Social life I love my partner and we are getting married in the spring. But I don’t think I can be here that long.
I fall in love with people really easily and get used by them a lot. I hate my self as I feel like all I do is cause others misery by being angry,and crying all the time. I depress the people that I am around. I always say and do the wrong things and push people away. And I get used by the people I put my trust in. I feel things really deeply all the time and make really bad decisions.
I really feel my moods are effecting my kids and that I am damaging them emotionally on a daily basis by them watching me cry every day and not being able to function in a basic way. If it was not for my partner then I would not be able to wake up every day. I can’t function when he is not around. And it hurts me to know that I am hindering his existence.
My heart aches every moment and I just want to not be here any more. I have tried to kill my self twice before without success. I am scared to die. I am scared of the pain I might feel as I am dying. But I feel a crippling emotional pain alive now every day and at the moment the physical pain seems to be looking like a easier option. I hate my self for feeling like this. I just hate my self full stop.
There is a lot more to my story than what I have written but I hate talking bout it as it hurts to talk bout things. I just don’t know what to do. I have had counseling and CBT and attended depression coping courses and have taken medication for years. But I just want the hurting to end and so far it never has!
I have 12 of the 15.
I feel completely depressed and alone. My life is a joke and I feel like a total failure. I feel so disconnected from the people around me. My boyfriend and me don’t even get along. (I wanted to get married and have kids but he’s in no rush). I think I’m just with him because I know I’ll be alone if I leave and I have no money to leave.
It’s taken me 10 years to get my degree and I’m still doing it because I keep doing it wrong. And I find it hard to concentrate because I feel so alone. I feel like I’m a joke to people my age who are mostly all married with children and careers. My brother has schizophrenia and I’m always worried about him. My mum died and my father just does his own thing with his girlfriend.
He speaks to me like I’m someone he met on holiday. My good friend moved away so I only see her once a year if I’m lucky and she never calls. I have to arrange any meeting… I was bullied in school so I left early and moved into a city on my own to reinvent my life. In 20 years all I’ve met is users and fake people. I’m so naive I actually think a friend is for life and I’ve learned the hard way it’s not like that (I’ve been told I’m not doing enough with my life (I have house and a car and I’m studying).
But for someone in their 30s in the south of England that’s pathetic. Even my cousin who works in a call centre told me I need to get in a routine after I overslept on a Saturday morning (I try to show people love and respect. I buy loved ones gifts and I tell them how great they are). I don’t want anyone to feel how I feel. I’m no angel though, I do get mad sometimes. My long-term male friend dumped me a few years ago because he said I’m not as attractive as I used to be.
Him and his mum were like family too me. Now they don’t want to know me and I know they never will. (I’ve tried, but they just hang up or make excuses). I wasn’t even invited to his birthday when all his old friends were)… after 20 years of friendship I know I’m so stupid to think we were ever friends. I have no idea how relationships work, I’m obviously crap at all of them. I’m not rich or skinny and I know people want really cool people as friends… I cant keep up with society and I don’t fit in.
(I went on a date with a guy I met online. He was much older and not even attractive, but I thought he might like me. He told me I wasn’t attractive enough and that I’m basically a naive idiot doing an art degree at my age). I’m so afraid of people because it’s just a matter of time before they run me down because I don’t measure up. Even though I’m trying, I’m just not fast enough. Tired of trying, so I just shut myself away and shut down.
Your story is very similar to mine except that I have a few more problems. I am completely alone the last 5-7 years because all of my friends and GF dumped me when I had an accident and the doctors told me that I would not be able to walk again… They where wrong because I managed to walk again and even run but I lost my shape and job because I was running one of the biggest Martial Arts schools here.
Well not anymore. I am unemployed now and not rich like I used to be. I got addicted to prescribed drugs for chronic pain plus nightmares, insomnia, etc. and because I was not able to handle the loss of my beloved ones. I used to help them all the time and doing the best for them (As you said neither I am an angel) but suddenly became a stranger when I was useless.
My GF and others abandoned me because I lost my money, my six pack and my whole life. She told me never to call her again and the last thing I want is to disturb someone. I have a lot of stuff like this to say but there is no point to discuss them deeper and a part of them is exactly what you wrote about (a lot of common). Anyway I am in the same condition and at my age most of the people I know are married with family and children.
I am sure that I was born in the wrong planet or place. What I know is that somewhere someone exists who only cares about your inner beauty and doesn’t want you to be skinny, and he will love you exactly just how you are for what you are. So please don’t get disappointed… There is always hope and all those nasty things may happened for a reason.
I wish I could help somehow, but I want you to know that if what you are writing is real, you seem to be a rare, strong and very nice person. Just take the advantage. P.S.: 1st, Tell that idiot if you meet him again that art has no age or identity and you can study even you are 80 years old. 2nd, If someone threats you that way he does not deserve what you feel about him and it is a shame (not easy) to get disappointed for him and you now probably know that people don’t appreciate what you are doing for them and in our society a sensitive person is often a goner for them.
3rd, I just want you to know that I hit 14 of 15 at this list for a long time and I am still alive (at least all these years). The truth is that I want to put an end on all these painful facts, but I prefer to leave my country somehow and begin a new, and maybe better life far from these bloodsuckers here. (Sorry for my English I know that it is poor)…
It’s not you it is them! Don’t be so hard on yourself!
I have considered suicide on several occasions. However, recently, someone I knew from work committed suicide, and I was so shocked I realized that ending one’s life is never the answer, no matter how bleak things may seem. I have made myself a list of ways to conquer: 1, 2, 4, 5, 8 and 13 on this list. Thank you for this article.
The mental health system does not make people better just as the prison system doesn’t. The mental health industry is about documenting peoples illnesses not curing it. Sometime in mental health clinics like the VA it almost seems they have a quota to fill for a certain diagnosis and give that diagnosis to people whether they have the illness or not.
I agree entirely. The mental health system is severely flawed, comprised of so called experts who are often messed up themselves, exploiting the most vulnerable in society.
I am feeling completely alone, and I just wish I could talk to some people like you who have all left your comments here, because I feel like I’m the only one in my society going through this at the moment! I am constantly being disappointed, abused, not having happy things happen, having few friends, family abusing me… have never had a guy ask me to marry him…
My life is incredibly difficult compared to other people who have it so easy. Am I the only one going through this? I feel like screaming sometimes, it’s so frustrating seeing other people having happy lives, full of love, marriage, kids and they never have to be lonely one day in their life! But me, I’m suffering… I feel so ugly sometimes, so abused. I wish someone would love me and treat me well.
I feel the same way. Business and finances have been difficult this year. I feel deeply ashamed of myself for overspending, laziness and procrastination. I berate myself for not meeting goals, and spend too much time on the Internet. My family have disappointed me in many ways and people have thought they can insult me. I want to change in the coming year.
I totally understand and know what you feeling and going through, I’m going through the same thing. 25 year old female super gorgeous even if I have to say so myself, but still no man in my case, no friends also… like I have no one. Am an only-child if it wasn’t for my mom I’m sure I’d be long gone by now.
I’ll be your friend.
My wife of nine years has decided to leave me. I see myself and several of these on the list. I’ve always elevated her beyond loving myself, and she tells me I love her more than God. The pain is immeasurable. This is another divorce and I feel as though I can never or am not capable of being loved or loving someone properly. Life is just too cruel! My wife won’t even speak to me. My heart hurts too much.
7, 9 and 11. Worst is 9. Wanting to end it all. Don’t know why nothing goes right.
After reading the comments on here…I am staying and going to work it out…
Thanks Scott, I needed to read this.
I smile when I read you are going to work it out. That is wonderful.
Nobody cares about me. I am unemployed and broke. I have a 13 year old son and we live in a sh*tty rental townhome I can’t afford. I can’t buy him anything for Christmas this year and have to find a way to tell him. I have a boyfriend but in 3.5 years I still haven’t met his family or kids. He ignores my son and hates my family. He pays all the bills for his ex so there is no future for us. I have no purpose in life.
I used to workout but can’t afford the gym let alone to drive there. My car was repo’d. Got it back but it will get repo’d again and I won’t be able to get it back. I am currently driving it without insurance. My college degree is worthless and at 34 nobody will hire me. They all want young. I hate my life so much. I am only here because of my son. His dad is a deadbeat. But I think my mom could take him if I go.
You have someone to talk with now, so let’s talk. I may not know everything but I do know something. That is that you are truly a wonderful person going through a bad time. In my opinion, keep talking, eventually an answer will come. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you have to keep trying to get the good results you want. And it’s ok to feel sad, but deal with it tomorrow. Don’t give up today and give tomorrow a chance. So talk it out.
Talking about your problems will help, so talk. Sometimes when you talk you may stumble on a solution, not guaranteed, but why not. Talking helps me cope with my loss. If I can help, I will. Let’s talk this out.
6, 12, 13 are the only ones I don’t have. I’m 25 male. I want a doctor to assist me in suicide.
My whole life I’ve been abused by family members, raped by a significant other as well as abused, bullied by classmates, had trouble keeping a job, using drugs, PTSD, depression and anxiety. I’ve tried to get help, but nothing works. I don’t know what to do anymore… I talk to friends and family and nothing works. I feel totally lost. I’m living in a dream world where I pretend to be normal and OK but I feel so dark and empty inside. I’ve felt this way since I was a child. Now I am an adult in my late twenties and I don’t understand how I can unwire 20 years of thinking this way.
Is this Michelle? If it’s someone else, please let me help as it will help me. I am in pain from the loss of my daughter. Think before you act, tomorrow is another day. Chill out and wait another today, PLEASE!
I’m several on the list. I have been for a long time. Got married this year but I don’t feel happy at all. Couldn’t afford children even if we wanted them. Student loan debt, my husband was made disabled by a surgeon earlier in the year, ending his career no sooner than it began. We received no compensation, now he’s delivering pizzas and we live cramped into his room with the in-laws.
I’m unemployed and totally depressed. I have no marketable skills. I worked as an escort off and on and just made some totally sh*tty decisions in life. I regret everyday. I live with constant regret. I self injure, I’m prone to fits of rage, panic, delusion. My husband tells me I have multiple personalities. I fantasize about suicide often. I don’t see myself living another year. I have to take pills in order to sleep.
I stay up all night and sleep all day. What’s the point? I have no friends, yet I have no desire to make friends either. Nothing interests me. Life? I’ll pass. Turning on the news or reading about the world just makes me even more depressed. I have a religion, but it’s prone to just non-stop infighting and drama. Everywhere you look there is pain and hatred and people spewing vile thoughts and deeds. Who would want to live on this perverted planet?
There is no hope for our species. I truly believe that we will be our own doom. I just don’t care. I have no way to take control of my life. I feel totally powerless. I was denied SSI disability today, but I’m going to try and appeal it. They told me “I was cured”. Yeah right. Then why am I sitting here, alone at 6 AM after being up all night, thinking of shooting myself in the f*cking head? I’m just so angry, so alienated, and so over it.
Don’t even get me started on my marriage. What a total failure that has been so far. I regret getting married. I hate this world.
I tried to end my life 7 years ago after a decade of depression and several traumatic experiences and feeling hopeless that I was going to be better one day and thinking that I was dealt a worse hand at life than everyone else around me. All I have to say is that I am glad to have had a second chance, I am doing so much better now. I have never gone back to doctors or taken any drugs after my suicide attempt, I just read books and spent my time thinking.
I learned how to love myself and how to do nice things to people, I learned how to think happy thoughts, I learned a lot about myself and the world… If you’re suicidal all you have to do is to change your vision of life. Please understand that there are very few people in this world who have perfect happy lives, this is the illusion created in you by mass media and advertising campaigns and other people who crave attention and recognition and government who finds it easier to manipulate population overwhelmed with fear and sense of their own worthlessness.
People are generally unhappy and suffering unless they learn how to ignore the societal pressure to be perfect and accept their broken lives instead. It is OK to be homeless, lonely, ill, scared, angry, resentful, it is OK not having everything you want, you are still an awesome human being.
I love how you summed up the unrealistic life expectations to which the unenlightened of us aspire. So true! You are awesome, really:)
I’m 1,2,3,6,8,9 and I don’t know how more I can take.
Currently unemployed and I’m still single at the age of 27, the latter depresses me more and more each day. I’ve never had the joy of experiencing the love of a woman and because of that I feel as though something is wrong with me. I see couples all around me and here I am with no one. It drives me mad…it drives me damn near insane.
I’ve already calculated it in my head and I’m pretty sure I’m past my expiration date anyway. I should’ve had a relationship years ago and yet I’ve had nothing of the sort. Many people have it worse than me no doubt about it, but this is my problem and either things will change for the better, or I’ll finally take that express checkout option that’s been crossing my mind each day.
I just want you to know my parents didn’t meet until they were 30 and 33, and didn’t marry until over a year later. 27 isn’t that old, just pray about it. That special someone is out there, it’s just a matter of time until you find them. Good Luck!!!
You don’t have to force issues. Be rational. Think about all the possible reasons why you haven’t been able to have a relationship by now, let alone getting married.
Life is a mirror: you will always see a reflection of yourself shot back to you. Be cheerful, be positive, be hopeful and before you know it you will attract people with similar traits. Going through life with unapproachable face will scare people away, leading to loneliness and depression. You make relationships work; they never work by sheer will or wish or by themselves but by effort.
Calin, I’m in the exact same boat. On the surface, I’m an attractive 27 year old female. Deep down, I am beyond miserable that I can’t find a guy. Sure I’ve dated in the past, but frankly, you’re better off. Once you experience love and then are abandoned, it’s like a drug withdrawal.
But you can’t buy the drug anywhere. I’d rather never had known such joys so I wouldn’t know what I’m missing. What helps me is video games. I live vicariously through RPG characters. Ask a woman out.
Most of us never get asked out. Ugly, pretty, smart… Doesn’t matter. I can’t even remember when was the last time a guy showed interest.
I read this page and I have. Numbers 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 11, 13, 14, and 15 and 15 is I have insomnia and can’t sleep with out my sleeping pills I was hit bus school bus when I was 12 years old almost died since then I hurt physically every single day of my life that happened in 1986. I am 42 now I been depressed as long as I can remember since the accident I have arthritis in 75% of my body, bursitis, suffer from migraines for over 20 years, have bad anxiety attacks and pains attacks.
I don’t go out any where when I did I was with my ex wife and my kids and now I don’t have them because of separation. I cannot function anymore I don’t know how to I have lost my security blanket in my ex wife because I am so stupid. I think about death every single day of my life I have all my life how I would kill myself how many different ways to do it. I do not feel worthy of live for being a burden on any one anymore.
People who don’t suffer from depression or anxiety problems or don’t have PTSD do not understand and they don’t know how to cope with us who do. I will eventually end my life I just don’t know when or which way I will do it. I have came so close in the past to the point of having a gun in my mouth. Everyone would be better off without me in this world and if I was never born.
How does one help a loved one or friend that has lost all hope of feeling like life is worth living?
I feel like everyone dislikes me or thinks I’m worth no value, so I just feel like if I commit suicide what would people think of me and I’ve picked on and bullied and kids always thought of me as annoying, creepy, stalker and act like they know my story without asking. They just assume and listen to other people’s words and every time I try to explain myself, they don’t believe me also I get blocked on all social media accounts by a lot of people for being annoying and saying something that offends someone but not “intentionally” so I feel like if I commit suicide it will be all over and I will be in heaven where there is peace and relaxation.
People act like they know what I’ve been thought to see what I do the things that are creepy, I’m under pressure OK! So don’t judge me cause we’re all equal, but they won’t listen so oh well maybe I should commit suicide right now to get away from the bull-crap. I try to keep my head held high but The things that people say and do to me just traumatize me, so I feel like it’s not worth living. I don’t want to end my life, I just want to end my pain. ???
My wife of 11 years wants it over, 3 small children that mean the world to me, she wants no counseling, just wants it over! I’m lost, hurt and emotionally drained. To see my children suffer during this, knowing they will be in a small apartment and I’ll only be able to see them on weekends kills me! I just want to end the pain so I don’t see them in pain, somebody help me, Thursday is are 1st visit to lawyer, don’t think I’ll make it through.
The pain you think your kids would feel living in a small apartment will be nothing compared to the pain of losing their father. You think about that.
1,4,5,8,10,11,13. After the death of my partner last year, only one friend bothered to help me during the worst crisis in my life. People that I had known for as long as 25 or 30 years suddenly vanished. They never phoned or came to visit. They did absolutely nothing to help me cope. More than a year and half later I am still alone, lonely and isolated. I have trouble sleeping, I don’t eat properly, I have lost weight and I have very little energy.
I have lost interest in just about everything. Each day, I drift aimlessly not knowing what to do or where to go. Eight years ago, I was diagnosed with a fairly advanced cancer. Although the doctors tell me that there is no sign of my cancer coming back, the cancer treatments have left me with lingering side effects that often interfere with the normal enjoyment of life. I have chronic pain and now even the pain medication is failing.
Although I am self-employed, I have lost interest in my business and no longer feel motivated to continue in my line of work. I have trouble focusing on my work or anything else. Anything that I try to do to pass the time – reading, movies, music or any other activity – soon bores me. I hate the way that I feel and can’t seem to find a solution. Having just turned 65, I feel that time is running out quickly anyway.
I wish I had an answer for you. I don’t even know what to say. Do you have any close friends? Have you seen a professional to help you maybe deal with your loneliness and hopelessness?
Try something fun…this sounds insane, but try an MMO game like Guildwars 2 and just explore at your own rate. I needed a way to escape to a world and explore (can’t afford to travel, don’t have the health for it). Start with the fun, eat crazy stuff you have not had in years, force yourself to dance or be outside someplace beautiful.
9 of these apply to me. Trying to hold on.
I want to let you know that the crisis line DOES help. I attempted suicide by overdosing. As I was laying there waiting to die I thought about my mom and what this would do to her. I called the suicide line, just to tell them what I had done. The lady on the other end of the line ended up saving my life. I wish I would have had the opportunity to thank her.
I am experiencing numbers 1, 4, and 8 on the list.
This is the best article that I have ever seen written on this subject. These are precisely the reasons that people commit suicide. Thank you for being so honest and concise.
I feel so tired always fighting to pay bills. I am disabled on SSDI. I went back to college at age 57. Two years later I am sick of college. It’s not hard for me but I have so many deadlines on subjects that mean nothing to me. I will be 61 when I graduate. Who is going to hire me? I don’t want to work for $12 an hour. Why? I am in constant pain and there are days when I can’t even get dressed. Our society thinks people on disability are just lazy and scamming the system. There is never enough money and I am always fearful of being homeless. I can’t stand to see what has become of our country. I hate getting up in the morning. Nothing makes me smile anymore, not even my family.
I can relate to college. I am 53 and did not finish, as I was abused by the staff and faculty. Exploited, harassed. It was horrible. I am in the same boat. You can always contact me.
I have been depressed for a very long time (since my teens). I have some trauma-related issues which still haunt me as an adult (I was sexually abused as a child, my mother was hospitalized for schizophrenia and my father was a very mean, abusive alcoholic during my upbringing). I’m not close to my family (because they’re not kind people) and I have almost no support system. My family wouldn’t even attend my graduation after I finished grad school. At times, I feel like my life accomplishments mean nothing to other people. Sometimes, I feel like I am nothing to anyone.
I was bullied throughout grade school, middle school and high school. I was an abused child and I was very socially withdrawn and depressed. Other children picked up on that “weakness” and I was an easy target for their amusement. Neighborhood kids used to run me over with their bikes and throw rocks and eggs at me while I walked home from school. I have rarely had any true friends in my life, and I have no friends now at 31 years of age.
I have been diagnosed with BPD, which makes it difficult for me to have any relationships with people. I have strong emotional triggers and I can become very reactive and unstable. I also have PTSD and night terrors. I wake up screaming sometimes and I have flashbacks of being abused.
I also have several anxiety disorders, including social anxiety, GAD and severe OCD…these illnesses drive me crazy. The OCD has me constanly checking things (like checking to see if the door is unlocked or if the stove is off twenty times before I can leave the house). I am still able to function enough to go to work or the grocery store, but that’s about it. I’m not able to do anything social because I quickly feel overwhelmed and anxious.
I feel very isolated and alone most of time. Everyday, I think about how much I hate my life. I feel like day-to-day living is filled with pain and fear. I don’t have a family of my own, friends, a job that I like, or purpose. I don’t feel that I’m able to have those things because I’m so messed up. I just have my broken, shattered spirit and I don’t know why I’m holding on.
Wow you’re so strong! I think that is not what makes a person great the qualities that he/she is born with but the attitude and strength to overcome life’s obstacles. Even if this life sucks Jesus promises a better one to those that accept him as a personal savior.
I read your story and can relate. I am 46 live alone and my family have used and abused me over the years. I am only good to them when they want something which is usually money. I give and give and never get it back. I have since blocked them on my phone and ignoring their mail.
I too was bullied at work because I don’t have children or a partner. All I see is couples, relationships and kids everywhere. For some reason this has been tattooed on my brain that you are only worthy if you have a partner and kids. I cant find enjoyment in much these days especially things that I used to love. My friends don’t really understand me so I don’t bother telling them oh and I don’t have many friends.
I feel the only thing keeping me going is my dog how pathetic am I. I can relate to many peoples’ comments and wish I could meet with you to talk through these things and maybe have some real friends people that understand.
I can take bits and pieces from everyones stories and find them somewhere in my life. It takes such a toll on you! Being alone, neglected, feeling like you have no one, suffering with the PTSD, severe and debilitating anxiety, and feeling like every single day you wake up, fear and pain are the first things that come to mind. You all are so strong and brave for sharing your stories!
If you need someone to talk to you can always reach out to me.
Wow! I can relate to a lot of what you said except I have a good support system in my Mom & sister. I also live alone with my dog. I currently work part-time & am on SSDI. I am going through a recent divorce in which he left me emotionally & financially devastated! I felt somewhat normal when we were together.
It will be a long time, if ever, before my heart heals again. If you lived close, we could find some other single, middle-aged gals and live like the “Golden Girls”!
Wow, I am so sorry for your pain, as I can relate to nearly all of those situations or issues, and know how you feel. I wish I had answers, as I would gladly share. But I believe strongly in God, although my faith does falter at times. I think He understands this. I pray for us all. God bless you, and I hope you find peace in life.
I’m in so much pain, hurt and shock that my ex girl friend killed my wife and in turn kill herself (committed suicide). It’s still unbelievable to know this has happen. How can a person be that sick (mental illness) murder an innocent person. How can you put this kind of Mental Illness into words? Can anybody out there can explain this?
Women aren’t being taught that violence is wrong. It’s why 70% of violence in domestic relationships is initiated by the woman, why there is the most violence in lesbian couples and the least is in gay male couples. Women are waaay less likely to the charged, never mind convicted. And when convicted they will receive, on average, less than half the sentence for the same crime and same level of priors as a man. Women can literally get away with murder. It all starts with teaching all children that violence is not ok.
This is absolutely false. While violence among women is increasing, domestic violence and violence in general are overwhelmingly male crimes. On a pie chart, women would not even garner a slice.
The problem with your statement is that it doesn’t dispute the point that Alex is making. Namely, that women are considerably less likely to be charged for it. I personally know zero men that have been charged with any form of domestic violence, and have three friends that have been attacked by their girlfriends. One of them attacked him with a knife.
None of those three women were charged with any crime. The knife instance actually had the police laugh at my friend when he reported it. The other 2 were out in public and everyones attitude was more or less “just let it be”. I am not claiming to know the statistics on domestic violence and I am sure that men probably do commit more violent acts than women, but you claiming that the crimes are “overwhelmingly male” and that “women would not even garner a slice” of the pie chart is predicated upon actual charges being filed.
When nothing is reported, maybe because the men feel like they would be less of a man or that no one would believe them, or that the woman would go to court with a sob story and the men themselves might get charged with something falsely, then your pie chart starts to look like a pretty poor representation of reality.
7 and 8 reasons here. After the student practice the chief of the lab told me I’m not suit for that job and he won’t hire me no matter what I do. So, let’s say it – the college and postgraduate studies in medical analytics were COMPLETELY POINTLESS WASTE OF TIME (not to mention my parents’ money). I have no idea what I should do, what other job I should try, and so on.
I have 8 months before my 30th birthday, if I won’t have a steady job by then, I really seriously consider killing myself at the time. Unless you have some other solution, because I can see only this one now. I don’t know if I can handle living on the street…
I know this message is coming much later than you have probably hoped, and I may be too late, but there are so many different ways to use what you’ve spent your life learning to get your life moving. Solutions and success usually come in such unique ways, I couldn’t possibly imagine the ways they’ll come to others in the future. Especially through the internet, people have found success in luck and sheer creativity.
What are some significant talents you have? Do you have a passion for this medical analytic study? Just think about what you want to do in your life outside of the fact that you’re desperate for a job, and maybe some ideas will come up. Again, just know that solutions can come in such absurd, or totally normal, ways, whether it’s indirect or direct.
I can’t be positive that I’ve helped you with your current position in life, but that’s the word I’ve given. Thanks for reading!
Medical analytics sounds pretty cool. There has to be a way to leverage those letters after your name. Imagine if you hadn’t finished and had racked up debt in your own name. That’s the scenario I’m in and it’s rather frustrating.
I say you’re one of 7 billion sperms who made it through! Go on and enjoy life and screw everything else.
I have been battling financial woes for 6 months now and on a number of occasions, the thought of suicide has come to my mind. I have a wonderful family – a wife and step-daughters from her previous marriage. They are absolutely amazing. I couldn’t be happier. But the jump from single to a family of 5 took its toll.
I made wrong decision of selling my house and moving to be closer to my parents for 2 years so they get to know my new wife and kids as they were concerned about my wife’s background i.e. kids, etc. I moved back to London and am currently renting. I can’t make ends meet and the job is also stressful. I hate it. There seems to be no way out of this situation and every day is a struggle. Please pray for me.
I live in South Africa. About a year ago I quit my job to start a business. Plans and reality aren’t the same: things are really very bad for me. The so-called friends and family are only by your side when you’re doing well. As soon as financial struggle begin to emerge, they are the first ones to gossip about your misfortune to everyone else. Those that you confide in sell you out; you lose respect; you lose hope.
I can closely identify with what you’re going through. Amid this chaos I sat down and asked myself: what are basic necessities of being alive? Food, shelter, air etc. What I concluded is I’ll always go back to the drawing board and start all over. Life is that we do to entertain ourselves while awaiting the inevitable.
Let’s poke fun at life, at all the airheads who think we will sink to the bottom… I say LETS LIVE BY HOOK OR CROOK. I’m on the verge of losing many things. So what? I’ve come to a point where I no longer care because I’m on my own in this world. Our passage to this world is always such that you make it through alone, even you’re twins.
I’ve always suffered from depression and have resisted suicide a number of times. Let’s live man. Money, other people and things only “met” us here, we came with nothing but life. It’s the only thing that we own; it’s only constant in this equation. Everyone will choose when to come into life and when to live; you will always acquire and lose money or any other material.
Your words have helped me a bit. I’ve lost everything and tried to kill myself 6 months ago. I decided then, even in the depths of my coming to terms with the fact that I had failed in my suicide attempt, that if I’m going to keep living, it will be on my terms. I don’t care about the material things.
I read somewhere, “You don’t really know yourself until you lose everything and start living anew.” If I’m going to keep living, and I still use the word “if”, I will join you in poking fun at life and live by hook or crook. My life is the only thing I truly own, and I will love it on my terms, or not at all.
I was not even aware that philosophical reasons were recognized as a reason for being stuck in a major depressive episode until this article. I have always felt this way…like there is just no point. Why go through all these ridiculous ups and downs we call life if we know what will inevitably happen. Everyday I feel like there is no reason to get up and live my meaningless life.
Although lately it has gotten worse and I am now feeling suicidal. I have successfully hidden my feelings from friends and family and have been a “functional” alcoholic for years to try and self medicate. I am also on antidepressants now… a route I never wanted to take but felt I had to in order to keep myself from completely losing it. I hold a steady job that I love, have supportive family and friends that love me and am in a relationship that is heading towards marriage. What is wrong with me?
Alcohol and antidepressants are a bad cocktail, choose either or….or better yet, neither.
Nothing is wrong with you, I promise you that. You were put here for a reason, and I’m not in any way a religion person, but I do know you were put on this earth to make a difference. You may feel as though you can’t live up to that standard, but I promise you, I PROMISE, you can, and you have. Because you’ve made it this far, haven’t you? And you’re spending your time contemplating life, when you should be focusing on every achievement and battle you have ever survived, because YOU FREAKING ROCK!!
Life can kick you in the ass sometimes, but there’s only one way to go: to get up, and keep moving forward. Harsh reality: there’s nothing you can do to change the past. Better reality: there’s everything in the world that is amazing that you can do to improve your future. There are people out there who love you, and are alive BECAUSE of you. And I know this because of the people keeping ME alive, who don’t know that they are. So here’s what I want you to do. (Yes, I mean NOW, get up, grab a piece of paper and your favorite photograph of yourself, what makes you happy, what you live for, anything along those lines – anything you wake up in the morning for).
Write down everything you have in your life that keeps you going, that keeps you from popping that pill, from pulling that trigger, that makes you BREAK DOWN in tears because you can’t bear the thought of losing that thing/person or leaving it behind. And when you make that list, give it a kiss, shed some tears on it (cause let’s be honest, this process will make you ball your eyes out, because you’re creating a list of why you’re alive rather than popping painkillers in front of a bathroom sink, it’ll be emotional!) and hang it on your mirror, or anywhere you go/look at first thing in the morning, as a reminder of WHY YOU’RE AMAZING/AWESOME/BEAUTIFUL/BEYONCÉ, because it will be hard, and sometimes you may feel lost, and unable to find your light.
But think about it: what has gotten you through so far? Clearly something! Cherish that something, and use it as your motivation to keep moving forward and LOVING YOURSELF, because, honestly: you’re the only person you truly have in this world. You don’t wanna disappoint yourself, because that’s a high standard! And if you give up, guess what: you just broke the only rule for yourself: you disappointed yourself. I love you, the world loves you, and I promise, if you do these things, YOU will love you, too. I promise.
Tell yourself this: “I am beautiful, I am strong, I have made it this far, do I REALLY want it to be all over now? What’s that saying they say, ‘Dark Skies Bring Beautiful Rainbows’ or something like that? Yeah, that’s what will keep me going. I’m that rainbow. And I love that rainbow. Because that rainbow is my goal, and I can achieve it if I just hold on through this rain, because I promise it’ll be brief, even if it doesn’t seem like the thunder is slowing down. It is, I just gotta trust the WeatherMan (God). I love me. I love me. I love me. With all my heart. I LOVE ME!”
You can do this, I promise you. I have a Spotify playlist, it’s called “For When You’re Confused At Life” (by Lily Savage). I created it specifically for when I was feeling depressed and as though this was all I needed to see in life, and as if nothing was worth continuing anymore. But I PROMISE you, it gets better. Please hold on. I love you. You can do this. I’m with you. You’re almost over this bump, and then it’s smoother after that. You got this, I promise. ?
Recently, a family member of mine committed suicide. Afterwards, we were all shocked, we didn’t understand. This person had friends (more than I have), family who adored him (once again more than I have), he was active in the church and was surrounded with people who supported him. He never once suggested to any of us that he wanted to die. I still do not understand. He was happy on the outside.
Here is what I do understand. If you are considering suicide, please know that it will destroy your family after you are gone (even if you think it won’t). Please know that it will destroy the people who love you (I promise you that there are people who do). I know there is a mental illness aspect to all of this and sometimes it is hard to see the truth. Especially if you are feeling sadness that you can’t reasonably explain, please seek help. Please let someone close to you know.
We want to know and we want to help. We don’t want to be here on this earth without you. Don’t leave us here alone. We need you and just as importantly, you need us and we will do whatever we can to help you if you will only let us know. We won’t be ashamed of you or disregard you. We won’t think less of you. We love you. We will find help for you. We can find some way to make this better for you if only you allow it. We can’t fix death.
Not for you and not for ourselves. Death is not the answer. Life, love, the pursuit of happiness, the discovery of purpose– these are reasons to live and well worth the fight. We all fight this fight together. You are not alone. Don’t quit the battlefield of our lives, let us help you find a more level field to fight on.
Dear Mary, I’m so sad to read of your loss, but so grateful for you sharing this message. I pray that you all recover from this tragic loss and that your hearts are soothed in time. Love and Blessings, Leanne
I am sorry that you feel this way. I think that it is vital that you know that some people are suicidal and know that people love them and are there for them but the pain is greater than their love for others. When you are in that much pain (and I know, because I am there) you are only staying alive for others and it is a horrible existence. Some people can’t take being a ghost.
That’s it!!! I couldn’t understand my feelings. You made it clear. I feel like a sub human… A ghost even.
Exactly!!!
This is so true, we were best friends of someone who committed suicide, the pain the bereaved feel is tremendous, apart from the obvious of you missing them also the pain that you couldn’t help them and even didn’t know the extent of the illness. As friends I don’t think your grief is appreciated but it is intense and personally I feel that my life has changed and I will never feel the same again. Why did this have to happen?
Anyone contemplating this action should seek help as the pain you wish to escape from is passed on to your family and friends. My fourteen year old daughter cannot sleep alone as a result of this action. There are many different emotions ranging from deep sorrow, anger, rejection and abandonment. Just terrible don’t do it to your loved ones…
I think your suggestions are all fluffy and nice but the reality with all of that is that there won’t always be people there to help you find a more level field to fight on. I’ve talked to family and my husband and they either say there is no reason to take a life and to look at all that I have. Well maybe in complete honesty THEY should take a look at my life and ask how they would feel walking in my shoes.
And after that if they really care, call me, text me, come and get me out of my house for a walk when I can’t do that myself. They’ve had plenty of opportunity to help and they have not lifted a finger. They alone are the reason that I have not done it but when that day comes, and it will, then perhaps they will see what they could have done to help me. I’ve given then freely the chance to prove me wrong and longed for that help. Nope, not happening.
Bev, I couldn’t agree with your response more!!!! That is the EXACT truth in my current situation. Everyone is so quick to give positive and negative advice, and what “they think” would be best for me, but none of them go out of their way to lend any help, come visit me, ask me if I’m hanging in there… NOTHING! Maybe one day (if I end up losing the fight) they’ll look back and realize that it wasn’t for “attention” or “laziness” but that in fact, I was sick and gave it my best shot.
Thank you. That is a remarkable comment. I’ve read and reread a lot of these comments trying to cope with my daughter’s suicide. I also just read the 15 topics above. This is very well written for a layman, especially a layman who is in pain. I have been searching for answers and almost totally lost it yesterday when I received some bad news.
I reached out to someone in group to explain my pain. She said, as before, the pain never leaves. At best it subsides. I sound very rational now, but I am an emotional wreck. It dawned on me that if I can help just one person from going over the edge of no return, I will view it as a gift to my daughter. She always helped others and thought little of herself.
I read the 15 points above and in many ways, I think we as a society all suffer from each and everyone at some point or another (exclusive of drugs). We are so affected by the constant noise in the media, a never ending reminder to be thinner, prettier, smarter, stronger, more cute, richer, etc. It doesn’t matter. There will always be someone in front of you and someone in back of you in any endeavor.
Try to take solace that you are part of the larger “we” and you are a part of what makes the world go round. Without you, the world will be incomplete. I know that you may be in physical and mental pain on a daily basis, but it just might be the last day of pain today, if not maybe tomorrow. Keep talking and maybe you will stumble on a solution; however, minor your situation can be improved it is better doing something that can’t be undone.
The pain and emptiness I feel is unfathomable, I can’t really explain it, even to myself. Please take a day to think, then a week to think, reach out for help wherever it is. I want to talk with you to help you and to help me. Tomorrow is another day and it jus may be the best day of your life so give it a chance to be a good day at least. I am here ready, willing, and able to listen and respond. I hope you the best day today and tomorrow. So keep talking.
1, 2, 7, maybe 8, and 14. I’m agoraphobic, which is what caused most of the reasons I have for feeling suicidal, but traumatic experience sure didn’t help. Everything I’ve read about treating it says that inpatient treatment is no more effective than outpatient, but does anyone think a halfway house could do any good?
1, 3, 6, 9, 10, 15.
10 years of working so hard to survive and manage recurrent mental illness (GAD, MDD, EDNOS) and I’m only 23 years old. So many different medications and therapies. I have achieved some wonderful things in snatches of relative health before I’ve slipped back into this tormenting mess. Psychiatrists and doctors still tell me they’re optimistic but given the trend that’s been emerging it’s really hard to keep believing and hoping I’ll recover enough to live the life I want. A degree, a career, a house, a beautiful family, a golden retriever, a long and fulfilling life. I’m not sure I have to energy to make it.
Just watch, one day, you’ll have another good day, and they’ll just keep on coming.
I have 11 symptoms on this list. I have simple medical problems associated with chronic halitosis that countless doctors in NYC fail to acknowledge and treat. I am beautiful and musically inclined; I had the opportunity to get into the music industry (I am skilled), model and make substantial money, and I was also a dance instructor for a few months when I thought I was cured. Every time I thought I was cured I started something that would be almost impossible to finish.
I am in school now and have a 4.0, and I’m thinking about colombia university. I speak Japanese and Spanish and ceased learning and attending related groups because my breath is too offensive. I currently have a sinus infection that has spread to my lungs and, because there is no inflammation, the doctors did not perform any tests and won’t treat me. I know that this will manifest into another chronic condition.
I was getting into the counseling field but I will not be respected with bad breath despite my attractive and seemingly normal looks. Did I mention that my teeth have been perfectly aligned and white since I was born? When the smell emits, people take it as negligence and become angry. I am 27 and unmarried- not old by NYC standards, but still an age to begin looking. I see this as permanent.
I believe in God. He loves me and I know it- He has shown me countless times. I have been going through this for 11 years and I just can’t do it anymore. The Presbyterian ER (the best) turned me away even though I can hardly breathe from the infection in my lungs. The x-ray did not show anything apparently. No ENT or doctor will help me. There is no hope.
Hi Anon, Did you have your tonsils checked for stones (tonsilloliths)? What about acid reflux? and your teeth, are day in good conditions: any cavity? yeast infection? do you have diabetes or kidney or liver problems? All of these could also cause bad breath, the best doctor is your family doctor, because he/should know your health history. My best wishes for all. -Cris
My husband had the same problem for years and it turned out to be a bad tooth. Once it was pulled, everything changed for him.
Anon, I don’t know if my advice will work for you, but it worked for me. I started getting very offensive bad breath that no matter how much I brushed or worked at it never cured. I figured out it started when I got sick and took mucinex. What it did (I think) was dry out my mouth and sinuses and foul things flourished in my mouth that wasn’t easily killed off, even with vigorous tongue brushing.
So what I started doing was swishing hydrogen peroxide in my mouth when I thought things were bad. (It’s safe to put in your mouth just don’t swallow) Eventually it killed things growing on my tongue and in my mouth, but I’d follow up with a dry-mouth oral rinse (you can pick this up at like a CVS anywhere). It put the moisture back in my mouth which helped combat bacteria growing there.
Mouthwash seemed to erase all that because it left a sweet/aspartame aftertaste so I don’t recommend using it. Took a few weeks but it cleared right up and now no offending smell. Hope this helps anyone and everyone.
My son had the same thing, and he had his tonsils removed (as food was getting caught in them and decaying, which was causing the foul smell). Something you should consider doing. Hope it gets better for you.
A few people already mentioned that bad breath (halitosis) may be related to issues with food debris caught within the tonsil cavities near the back of the throat. I have to agree. Every once in a while I have this issue myself, food debris get stuck back there, and when I dislodge the debris I can detect their scent, which is sometimes really awful.
But how do you dislodge the debris? Here is a trick that you can use, but it takes practice: turn your tongue (nearly 180 degrees) towards the left or right side of your throat, and you may be able to reach your tonsil cavities and clean them out simply using the tip of your tongue.
You probably won’t succeed the first few times, but keep trying and after practicing several times and stretching your tongue you may be surprised to find you can reach your own tonsils and keep them clean for the rest of your life. Good luck!
Try swishing and gargling with a bunch of drops of tea tree oil in water?
Have you tried over the counter sinus meds like mucinex? Upper respiratory and untreated sinus issues can definitely cause bad breath. What about afrin?
1, 7, 8, 11 and 14 here.
1, 2, 5, and 14 on the list.
I was laid off September 2013. I am experiencing numbers 7, 8, and 14 on the list.
There are people who care about you Jack, please don’t make any rash decisions.
No they don’t. Hypocrites will say they do after the fact. Ever call for hours and get a recording from suicide hot lines? Yeah. Multiple lines. Greedy family and phony friends – after the fact. To make themselves feel better because they chose not to be supportive of your efforts to survive poverty.
BAM! exactly. People only care AFTER the fact. But SHUN those who are struggling before. If they act like they care, they are usually playing HERO so they get positive attention as a good person and to affirm that they are not the one who is sick, while your selfish ass gets shipped off to the mental ward in cuffs by police as all the neighbors watch and judge you as a horrible person here in out!
It’s true. My mom made me depressed when she told me to kill myself. She meant it. She tried throwing me out on the streets when I was a small child. When I told her I was depressed she told me “I’m extremely immature and that there was something wrong with me.” Not in the I’ll get you help kind of way but more of a I’m some sort of a contaminated animal, only ment to be locked away.
Joe, you hit the nail on the head. My perfect example is I was having such a tough time and trying so hard to reach out to my sister who never returned my phone calls or emails. However I happened to come across a post of hers on, of all things, Facebook regarding the suicide of someone she barely knew and she made this pleading statement of “if you’re ever feeling this way call me anytime I’ll talk to you.”
I just thought wow girl you’re just so missing the train. I have called you so many times and you never responded. Ironically she had so many replies posts of oh so sorry for your loss about someone she actually didn’t even know. So yeah Joe you’re right they’re just going for the hero effect.
Not everyone. I’ve had people who cared when I was thinking of self harm.
I agree with this statement. Most people do not care! I went through so many financial problems last year due to loss of a job and I am a single parent with a teenager. NOT one person invited us to live wih them knowing we would be evicted. People in general are full of **it!
I agree!
Yeah people really don’t care. I guess you should really fight for yourself and when you get down just be quiet. Don’t cry. No one cares except God. He will tell you why He left you alone. Don’t condemn people. They are people. Don’t expect anything good from them. I went through a lot I think but I tell you what… just know that you are alone in this world. At my job, I’m being discriminated against and I have a wife. Life is tough here but people are seriously hurting me.
It’s so very sad but most people really do not care.
It’s true that the vast majority of people don’t and can’t care. We’re told to reach out when it gets bad but then when you do you fall on your face. On the other hand, even one good friend who actually cares about it makes all the difference. I have that one friend. While she can’t be there for me all the time and sometimes I wish she would be there more when I REALLY need help, she is there for me as she’s able and actually puts in an effort.
It’s true that we’re ultimately alone in our western culture. I think we evolved to be a close and interconnected species but we’ve become broken apart by our culture. Think of a cat who’s hurt. They’ll hide it. But if a person has hurt feelings they display the pain. We, as a species, expect others to be there for us. Over time we don’t get than connection and the pain display becomes a chronic guarding and starts to ossify and we’re left with chronic pain.
I’m developing a bodywork system that works to reverse this process. I’ve already helped someone put their fibromyalgia into remission by doing body based emotional therapy for a few different traumatic experiences, including childhood sexual abuse. It took 2 two hour sessions and she’s free of it after 7 years of debilitating pain and was on multiple pain meds, one of which was giving her seizures, but was still worth it to her.
Feeling protected, cared for, soothed, touched, valued, safe, and no longer alone can be an extremely powerful healing process.
Hang in there, Jack. All will be well very soon. (If they aren’t already). I wish I could do more to help, but unfortunately I can’t, seeing as I’m only 13. Don’t really have access to anything.
But I know someone with a chronic illness. It’s hard watching them struggle, but I know they’ll hang in there. They have friends to support them, and now you do too. Even if you aren’t suffering from a chronic illness, pains are different for every person and reason. It doesn’t mean we should take them lightly.
I’ve always considered suicide as the last resort, push this button in the event of a total catastrophe kind of solution. Living with chronic pain, employment/financial difficulties, PTSD and GAD, adult survivor, medication resistant mood disorder… Yikes, now I know why the thought stays with me like a comfy sweater, I’m “at risk” multiplied by 5 or 6.
I really know leaving would be easy, because staying is really really hard. I suffer, because I can’t do to the people who care about me, what leaving would do. They suffer too, and they’re still here. My best friend left, it’s not completely clear if it was accidental, not to others, but I know. That’s a feeling. That’s a messed up feeling, to know that you could have stopped her if you had noticed the signs.
Signs were everywhere, and for years, and years. I did stand between her and death, dozens of times, but that night she didn’t call, she had flirted with the idea for too long, the idea became more, and she crossed over to the silent determination to make good on her perennial threats. Yes, I was still shocked and devastated, I haven’t fully accepted the loss and it’s been more than 4 years – but what could I have done differently?
She would have totally cut me out of her life if I tried to get her hospitalized, and she had been, on a number of occasions, and yet her issues persisted. In and out of treatment programs, years of psychotherapy and medication intervention, like myself, nothing stuck for her. The difference between her and I, is a matter of loyalty.
I am loyal to the people who have stuck by me despite myself, and I could not leave them with the kind of feelings and questions that suicide would inevitably bring them to. I stay because I will do no harm – I suffer through, because there is always hope – I want a better life, but this is the life I was given, and for better or worse, it’s the only life I have. It’s so sad when people forget that tomorrow will most definitely (tomorrow plural – possibly 30 tomorrows) bring better days.
There are more good days ahead, more to experience, more to learn, more revelations, more epiphanies, more heartbreak, sorrow, joy, laughter, humiliation… Just hold on, be patient, any rash decision is probably a bad one. Sleep on it, and see if some of the urgency goes away, it almost always does. Stay friends, please stay.