When Meditation Worsens Depression or Anxiety

March 14, 201511 min read

We’ve all heard that one of the best ways to improve your mental health naturally is by meditating. While meditation can be a potent tool of self-improvement, it isn’t a utopian option for everyone. Many people like to assume that since it’s a “natural” activity and doesn’t require ingestion of chemical substances that it’s some omnipotent or divine technique that will solve all of life’s problems.

There is certainly a lot of good that can come about from consistent meditation assuming you are a person that responds well to the practice. That said, when dealing with severe forms of depression and/or anxiety, it is important to proceed with caution. In many cases certain types of meditation can amplify depression by increasing slow brain waves in certain regions. In other cases certain types of meditation can cause a relaxation-induced anxiety or may heighten your awareness to an uncomfortable extent.

Factors to consider when meditation worsens depression or anxiety

Before you proceed with black and white thinking that meditation is either good for a person or bad for a person, it is important to consider each person’s individual experience. Factors such as the type of meditation, frequency and duration of the sessions, whether the person is using proper technique, etc. – can all influence outcomes resulting from the practice.

1. Type of meditation

Most people assume that all types of meditation result in the same neurological outcomes. In other words, a person automatically becomes calm, focused, and happy. However, there is sufficient preliminary evidence to conclude that the different types of meditation affect the brain in unique ways. For example, a person practicing Loving-Kindness meditation may experience greater activity in the thalamus as a result of their practice, while someone practicing Transcendental meditation (TM) will likely experience a decrease.

It is important to consider the subtype of meditation that you’re practicing. Should you notice an increase in anxiety and depression, you may have chosen a suboptimal subtype to fit your particular neurochemistry. There are reasons that certain types of meditation (e.g. Vipassana) work better for depression and anxiety than others.

2. Average duration

Another highly important factor to think about is how long you’re meditating each day. Humans evolved seeking external stimuli, not constantly looking inwards. Some time spent looking inwards is clearly beneficial, but introspection for prolonged periods of time is highly isolating and not what your brain evolved to do.

If you’re just starting with meditation and you spend several hours meditating each day, you’re going to bite off more than you can chew. Emotions may start surfacing that you don’t know how to deal with, you may feel depersonalized or just really weird. To avoid the trap of excessive meditation, limit the time you spend meditating to just 10 minutes per day; sometimes less is more.

3. Frequency of meditation

Most people who meditate do so once per day, but some people take things to a whole new extreme. Not only are they meditating for prolonged periods of time, they are doing this several times per day. While greater duration and frequency may be possible for an advanced meditation practitioner (i.e. monk), there’s no need to go overboard.

Spending too much time meditating may be interfering with your social life, work, or other commitments. It’s not necessary to meditate more than once per day for beginners. For a person that’s inexperienced, it may seem like a good idea to meditate a lot and as frequently as possible, but this may lead to more harm than good – sometimes in the form of depression and anxiety.

4. Technique

If you’re practicing meditation, you should be aware of proper technique. If you’re using improper technique, you may not get any benefit from the practice. Not only will you probably not get benefit if you haven’t been properly taught, you could be exacerbating feelings of anxiety and/or depression. For example, in Vipassana meditation, it’s important to gradually shift your focus back to focusing on the breath.

Someone who is improperly taught may get mad or upset when their mind wanders, which may exacerbate their anxiety. They may then conclude that they cannot even meditate and that it’s just “too hard.” This may turn into another setback that produces more depression and anxiety. Make sure you’re educated on proper technique or you may become exceptionally frustrated.

5. Individual factors

It is important to know yourself before you even start meditating. If you’re someone that has a past of dealing with relaxation-induced anxiety, you may not want to choose a meditation practice that increases baseline relaxation. (There are types that actually increase stimulation and arousal such as Vajrayana). Also consider your individual circumstances such as: amount of sleep you’re getting, whether you’re taking medications (or supplements), have isolated yourself socially, have changed behaviors – all of these factors can influence your experience with meditation.

Why meditation can sometimes make anxiety and depression worse…

If you’ve experienced a worsening of depression or anxiety from meditation, there are several theories that may help explain “why.” Understand that there are likely different causal factors for each person. For one person, meditation may elicit a resurgence of repressed trauma – leading to anxiety and depression. For another it may cause changes in neurotransmitter concentrations that could provoke anxiety.

Amplification of awareness: Meditation is a powerful tool that tends to amplify our self-awareness. This increase in self-awareness is generally a good thing, we become more conscious of negative behaviors, thought patterns, and emotions. However, it may also amplify the focus of our current emotional state. For some people, the increase in awareness is a good thing, but for others, it may evoke a state of learned helplessness.
Brain activity changes: There is sufficient scientific data demonstrating that meditation changes brain function. Not only do certain brain regions become more active than in the past, they can actually become thicker as a result of a sustained meditation practice. The problem is that if these changes are not beneficial to our functioning, they could be difficult to reverse and may cause us to feel anxious or depressed.
Brain waves: Most meditation practices tend to readjust our brain wave patterns. For example, transcendental meditation increases alpha waves in the frontal lobes. It is thought that Tibetan meditation increases gamma waves in the same region. Various types of meditation may also slow brain waves in certain regions, leading to an increase in depression or anxiety.
Depersonalization: A common experience with meditation is that you begin to notice a change in consciousness. You may start to feel unlike your normal “default” self. For most people, changes in neurological functioning as a result of meditation are gradual, but for others they can occur rapidly. The change in our brain functioning as well as introspection can lead us to the unknown. This “unknown” is something we have never felt before, and may cause us to feel temporarily depersonalized. Depersonalization is known to cause anxiety and may make us feel depressed.
Emotional upheavals: Another common experience is that of emotional upheavals during meditation. These often stem from repressed memories and/or trauma that emerge when our brainwaves and brain activity slows. Certain emotions buried in the subconscious resurface and make us feel incredibly uncomfortable, often provoking anxiety and depression. Typically these can be avoided or dealt with by not over-doing a meditation practice.
Homeostasis: Although for most people restoring homeostasis results in feeling happy, healthy, and energized, others have found that their “default” biological homeostatic state is problematic. If you have spent countless hours trying to alter your biology for the better, but meditation constantly shifts your brain back to square one, it may lead to anxiety or depression; especially if your natural demeanor is anxious or avoidant.
Introspection: Most types of meditation are of an introspective-nature, meaning we look inward in attempt to find calmness and serenity. The consistent practice may come to increase our introspective awareness even when we aren’t meditating. If you are already introverted and highly self-aware, an increase may feel like a sensory overload. Additionally even if you are highly extroverted, shifting to a more introverted awareness may result in anxiety and possibly temporary depression.
Neurotransmitter levels: The concentrations of various neurotransmitters change in result of brain activity alterations. With consistent meditation practice, we are gradually altering the way the brain works. Different brain waves are associated with varying levels of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. The problem is that certain types of meditation may drastically increase (or decrease) these neurochemicals, leading us to potentially feel more depressed or anxious.
Not natural: A valid argument could be made that meditation is not natural because humans didn’t evolve to sit with our eyes closed and spend large portions of the day focusing on internal sensations. It could be that excessive time spent focusing on internal sensations with our eyes-closed may make some people feel naturally more anxious and/or more depressed.
Relaxation-induced anxiety: Many types of meditation increase our parasympathetic relaxation and promote slower brain wave activity. This feeling of relaxation may feel like the cat’s meow to one person, but for another, the relaxation actually causes anxiety. This is a phenomenon known as “relaxation-induced anxiety” by which some people react to feelings of relaxation with feelings of anxiousness.
Repressed memories or trauma: If you have any repressed traumatic memories, meditation may not be ideal for you. While re-experiencing the traumatic emotion is generally one of the ways by which a person can overcome PTSD, not everyone is ready to re-experience them. These are best dealt with in a therapeutic setting (e.g. with an experienced psychotherapist). Clearly attempting to deal with repressed memories or trauma can lead to anxiety and depression – especially if you try to cope on your own.
Transitory phase: Some people go through a transitory phase by which they feel worse for a temporary period of time until their brain activity and waves begin to stabilize to fit the pattern being induced by the meditative practice. If your brain chemistry is abnormal, the meditation may be attempting to correct it and you’ll go through an uncomfortable transition with worsening of anxiety and/or depression. Some people actually push through the increase in discomfort and end up finding that it subsides, leading them to a new state of consciousness.

What to do if meditation makes your depression or anxiety worse

There are a few things you can consider if a daily meditation practice is worsening your anxiety or depression. These include: discontinuing the practice, reducing the duration (and/or frequency), considering a different type of meditation, brushing up on technique, and/or persist through these current feelings.

1. Stop

Most people that are aware of the fact that meditation is increasing their anxiety and/or depression will simply discontinue the practice. Stopping the meditation should help your brain gradually transition into a state of functioning that isn’t influenced by the meditative practice. Obviously with any sort of treatment – regardless of whether its chemical or non-chemical, discontinuing when something doesn’t help is common sense.

2. Reduce the duration (or frequency)

If you’re relatively new to meditation and you’re meditating for an extended period of time each day, it may be too much for you to handle. Long-term meditators are more equipped to handle longer sessions at greater frequency than those who are new to the scene. If you’re a new meditator, try limiting your time to between 10 and 20 minutes per day and limit yourself to one session. Exceeding 20 minutes (especially as a beginner) may be reason as to why your anxiety and depression are increasing.

3. Consider another type of meditation

Aforementioned was the fact that different types of meditation result in drastically different neurological outcomes. You may want to take some time to learn and investigate another meditation practice if the one you’ve been using seems like it may not be a good fit. There are many different types for you to chose from, just to name a few of the more common ones: TM, Vipassana, Loving-Kindness, or even a guided (audio) meditation.

4. Brush up on technique

Have you been instructed on how to properly meditate? If you aren’t meditating with proper technique, it’s difficult to blame meditation for your increase in anxiety or depression. To get the most benefit out of your meditation practice, learn from an instructor or monk. Also consider the fact that poor technique may be responsible for poor (or adverse) results.

5. Persist

Another option is to persist in your meditative practice and accept that you are experiencing some turbulence along the way. While excessive turbulence for an extended period may be a sign that meditation isn’t a good fit for you, nearly everyone experiences some emotional turbulence throughout their practice. Even beginners may notice a “storm before the calm.”

In other words, the meditation practice may be working, but the person needs to push through some sort of discomfort. The feelings of depression and anxiety may be extremely uncomfortable to cope with, but they may eventually dissipate as you continue with regular meditation practice. Always consider that these unwanted feelings may be a “storm” before a “calm” before you discontinue your practice.

Considering: Correlation vs. Causation

While it may be easy for you to posit that meditation 100% caused your anxiety and/or depression to worsen, can you really be sure? Although it is important to trust yourself and your experience, consider other factors that could’ve been responsible for provoking a worsening of anxiety and depression before blaming meditation. Did you recently switch medications? Did your job become more stressful and as a result of the build-up of stress, you blamed meditation?

Some people may be misattributing the meditation to worsening their problems, when in fact its an entirely different factor. Most research indicates that when done properly, most types of meditation tend to improve mood and reduce anxiety. However, it is important to realize that there are case studies suggesting that meditation may be more problematic than beneficial for certain individuals.

Have you experienced a worsening of depression or anxiety from meditation?

If you have experienced a worsening of depression and/or anxiety from meditation, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section below. Talk about the type of meditation practice you had pursued (e.g. Mindfulness, TM, etc.), how long you had meditated each day, and how you felt pre-meditation (before the practice) compared to after you had been meditating for awhile. Also feel free to mention any other factors that may have contributed to a worsening of your anxiety or depression besides the meditation.

Reader discussion (58)

Previously published reader comments are preserved below. New comments are not currently being accepted.

JoanApril 24, 2015
I appreciate the comprehensiveness of this article - there's a lot of information here and I do agree that not all meditations fit everyone. I think it is important to find the meditation practice that suit you. For many years I tried many meditation practices...and nothing really landed for me. I wasn't drawn to any of them, then a co worker mentioned TM and I did some research and decided to give it a try. I learned from a qualified teacher and that made a huge difference to me in understanding the process and I felt very supported in what might come up as I continued my practice. And yes meditation can stir up the emotions and the mind, for me having a teacher I could go to with questions was wonderful. I have continued with my TM practice for over a decade, being regular - twice daily with my practice makes for a smoother path for sure. I wish folks who are open and seeking a meditation practice all the best...stay open until you find one (and the supports) that work for you!
W. SweenyMay 23, 2015
I have a generalized anxiety disorder and once tried taking a mindfulness class and I just found I could not concentrate as directed, and found it was frustrating and anxiety-producing for me. I went to about four classes and then just quit. I thought I must be odd. Another time I was working with a therapist on my anxiety and she tried repeating a relaxation-type tape while I consciously focused on relaxing my body. Again, this actually made me more "nervous" and was not at all relaxing to me. She did not suggest trying it again. I tend to "live in my head" too much I think and I am glad I read this article which acknowledged that meditation is not for everyone. I was thinking again that there was something wrong with me.
tripmaniaJanuary 11, 2017
Well, it is generally said that for everybody, one effect we notice when we start meditating is that we notice how are mind is crazy and uncontrollable all the time. It is not that meditation makes our mind different, only that we start realizing how it works. One reason why people often get very frustrated with meditation is because some meditation instructions make them think that they are supposed to achieve a certain kind of calmness of mind in order for it to "work". Actually, meditation allows us to realize our confusion, see how our mind works, and with time, not be tricked by it anymore. The absence of concentration and the mind wandering away again and again is precisely what we observe again and again, and this is the point of meditation. Not getting rid of thoughts or forcing the mind to calm down, which can be extremely frustrating. Or maybe it depends on the types of meditations.
GeorgrJuly 6, 2015
Not all practice is suitable for every individual like autistics. It may increase depressive thoughts.
pattonJuly 13, 2015
Thanks for this article. I agree with what George said. I'm diagnosed w/ mild asperger's, and for females this means more anxiety. I've tried countless times and ways to meditate; but mostly, I just sit and focus on my breath. It makes both my anxiety and depression much, much worse. And then I get mad at myself for not being able to do something that is supposed to help me. Yoga actually helps me more because I need to move my body at all times--that is when my mind tends to calm down. After having read this, I feel a little freer to not practice meditation.
Roger DSeptember 29, 2015
I have been researching meditation and mindfulness for about three years, and feel that the subject of this article is very important to individuals with mental illness. So I want to say thank you. I also would caution people from making decisions regarding whether or not to meditate based on this singular piece. Please research it further for yourself. Also it may be helpful to discuss meditation with a therapist familiar with DBT. Finally, I would appreciate it if the author(s) would post their resources for this article. I would certainly find it helpful. Thank you again, RDH
MatthewOctober 27, 2015
I attended a Vipassana Retreat from April 29th to May 10th. I had been having some anxious symptoms for awhile now but when I went for a ten-day meditation retreat it seemed to exacerbate all the anxious symptoms. I had a full-blown panic attack for the first time in my life and since that point I've been struggling alot with symptoms of OCD, GAD like symptoms. I really want to believe in meditation but after that ten-day retreat I am reconsidering the effectiveness of it.
jasonbroskieFebruary 23, 2016
I experienced the same thing. It has been with me for years and continues to come back. What should I do? -j
tripmaniaJanuary 11, 2017
Ten days of meditation is a lot. Many people advised me to start small and be gentle with myself. "Long" retreats also tend to make me quite anxious too, but small doses feel better sometimes.
kenDecember 24, 2015
This is my biggest issue and has set me back a lot instead of actually helping with my issues. I just ended up suppressing them a whole lot and now I'm even more lost than ever. I hope I can come out of this because it has happened a couple times and I did not know what was happening. The learned helplessness and depersonalization is the issue. Oh yeah and coming of of an anti-anxiety med. I messed up once, but now twice.
Joe MageeDecember 26, 2015
This is a great article. As someone who has been meditating for about 7 years I can say I've experienced alot of these symptoms. I have high anxiety and meditation has made it worse. I would like to mention a couple of points. Meditation tends to bring our emotions and feelings to the surface. The problem is without some type of guidance on how to relate to these emotions they can create havoc for us. We question everything from our relationship to our job, etc. For me having a Buddhist path is important. I use the buddhas wisdom to navigate me through this road. I belong to a Sangha in the Dzogchen tradition with excellent teachers. For me Vipassana seems to work the best. Hope this helps. Joe
maggiJanuary 26, 2016
I was told once, if it doesn't feel right don't do it. Meditation is not for everyone...
Matt HornerJanuary 30, 2016
I noticed a massive increase in anxiety from practicing the Transcendental Meditation technique. After just the 3rd meditation which the duration was only 12mins my heart starting racing and I felt really anxious. I agree certain types of meditation are not for everybody.
AnkitFebruary 24, 2016
I also felt anxiety after practicing TM. Now I have started mindfulness (breathing). It really helps. It has a very calming effect. It gives freshness to my mind and body. While doing meditation I experience lot of yawning and tears. It totally pacifies me.
VRMarch 11, 2016
Interesting. I've been feeling the same way with TM. But I don't feel anxiety during the meditation, I feel it afterward while I go about my day. I've been trying to find out if this will pass i.e. this is just a start-up symptom, but I can't seem to get a straight answer.
srinidhiFebruary 21, 2016
It's a GREAT article. Few people are relived not to practice mediation, thinking it's like an addiction to escape from real world problem. Few stop mediating after practiced for few years, reasoning they went through a trauma of anxiety, fear & depression. Few writes a book about their eternal - internal journey just meditating & living alone.Few starts teaching about meditation. How to conclude? I leave it reader. We need good air to breathe, money to live, good job to satisfy our day, good relationships & no sickness mentally-physically. Will mediation clears & solves all these, finally make us feel bliss?
FTMarch 16, 2016
I suffered from GAD and was introduced to TM by my brother. After the first session I was nauseous almost immediately after. This happened after every session. I was told to shorten my sessions. The about the fourth or fifth day of practice, I started to get really bad anxiety. It got so bad, I could not function in daily life. It took about six months for the worst of it to die down but I still get bouts of extreme anxiety. I learned from my brother that another practitioner developed psychosis after practicing TM. Scary! Never going back to TM. Mindfulness meditation was kinder. Guided meditation is the best for me. Thanks for this posting and all the comments. I thought I was alone.
AgrudMay 16, 2016
Hi lately I'm going through a bad phase in life. But I came out of it ASAP. I was introduced to meditation when I was 14 by my parents but I've always dislike doing it. Now that I'm older, I have read articles on meditation, afterlife, and I just have this strong craving to meet God through meditation. But when I started my meditation for the first time, I just closed my eyes and focused on my third eye chakra, I felt nausea, heart beat started to beat fast and I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. And I could feel waves of energy reaching out in every cells in my body. Even after I ended the meditation, I could feel the strong waves of energy and vibration. But what happened after that is quite funny. I felt sad the whole day, I just feel like crying out loud and I keep thinking about God. How I hate my life as a human and I have this wish that I just want to leave this world and go to God. I feel very depressed living my life as a human, I feel that my stay in this world, this body of mine is all temporary. I keep longing to go back to God. What is happening to me? And how can I control these emotions? I do not want to give up on meditation. Not yet. Not so soon.
R RobinsonJuly 25, 2016
Hi Agrud, This is very sad that you are feeling this way and very difficult. I wonder if a counsellor, perhaps someone who understands meditation, could help you with the difficult emotions you are having. I also wonder whether you can find God, here in this life, in this universe, in the beauty of nature. I do believe God, or the Universe, is here with us now in all our humanness, with all our feelings. I also believe that we are not meant to struggle alone, but need to get the help from another kind, caring person when things are getting hard. Sounds like you are a very sensitive soul, which is lovely. Hope you can get the help you need. Best wishes.
faribaMay 21, 2016
Many years ago I tried TM, it didn't have any special effect on me, but I didn't continue it because I found it boring. Last year I became familiar with Vipassana, I tried it (ten minutes a day). It mad me to feel so lonely, the feeling that I had when I was a child, and I had repressed it these years. I discontinued the practice temporarily. I think if I can deal with this feeling - I can continue Vipassana, but I 'm not sure about it. In addition, during those times, I had strong feelings about everything and every situation. To me it was like driving a very fast car and difficult to control it.
FanakJune 1, 2016
Thanks for sharing dear.
ThankfulMay 22, 2016
I started with a therapist whose whole practice revolved around relaxation tapes he recorded. Very basic and similar to a short yoga nidra audio I have. I became more and more anxious. I do not, cannot have a happy visualization. Makes me high anxiety to keep trying. His response was to insist I continue twice daily sessions, and gave me a list of actions/thoughts that included not continuing was a lack/weakness of character. Felt so shamed. I am so thankful I found this article. Also, found scholarly research on the anxiety some of us feel.
JeanJuly 9, 2016
Thanks for this. I feel this too.
LucasMay 27, 2016
I am new to meditation but I heard some people say it's a bit harmful so I'd like to know about it, thanks!
JasmineMay 27, 2016
Meditation is a practice, so you don't have to worry while doing it, just do it correctly and follow the instructions given to you. That's all!
JordanJune 6, 2016
I think in this case, the meditation practitioner would have taken it to extreme that's why it worsened the problem. Because meditation is safe, so many health care providers recommend it to their patients.
AmandaJune 6, 2016
When you feel you are more stressed while doing meditation, it means you are not ready so it's better to take a complete rest for your body.
TiffanyJune 26, 2016
I meditated for like an hour last night and five mins this morning and this morning my anxiety was very bad. I'm glad I found this article. I guess as a beginner I should only meditate five mins.
JeanJuly 9, 2016
So pleased to have found this article. I have meditated for 20 years trying to overcome the anxiety and stress it causes me under the impression that I was failing at it. Teachers and friends always accuse me of doing it wrong and need to practice more. This only makes it worse. So glad to find this site and realize others have the same issues and we are not failures. Meditation just does not suit us so don't try too hard if it doesn't work. Just stop. It's only meditation and not the answer to all our troubles for all of us. Thank you for pointing out I'm not alone and its OK to stop if it doesn't work.
Rachel ClucasJuly 28, 2016
Great article and comments. I was diagnosed with BPD back in 1987 and suffers from rapid mood swings etc. Later on in life I become addicted to both alcohol and many other substances. A friend persuaded me to do TM. The organization that instructed did not charge me much money and the teacher was both sublime and grounded. Because of my condition he told me to practice for only 5 - 10 mins instead of the usual 20 mins. Shortly after I started practicing I had the mother of all breakdowns. Like all the worst parts of my personality just surfaced and ran riot. After I tried mindfulness but I found it excruciating. The thing I have found the most useful is just to focus on breathing from time to time throughout the day. I like to combine breath with simple exercises. Some I have learnt from the physiotherapist others are scaravelli inspired yoga exercises and a little Qi gong. I also take time to admire trees. Doing things slowly rather than mindfully is also important. I used to feel a failure that meditation did not work for me so its been very helpful to know that it simply is not for everyone. All the best to each and every one of you.
dJuly 28, 2016
I wish more people would address the fact that for some people (e.g. those who have an extreme level of inner chaos from severe childhood trauma) meditation can be harmful, as going inside leads only to intolerable terror and pain. This was my experience all my life (and I tried many kinds of meditations and at various times in my life. All they did was at best increase my anxiety, and at worst made me suicidal). It wasn't until now, at the age of 65 (after finally finding competent psychological help at the age of 60) that my inner chaos and terror have decreased enough for me to SOMETIMES feel some calming from very short periods of meditation.
DellaAugust 18, 2016
OMG! I had this same outcome-can you elaborate? Would you be able to connect and give me some more info on your experience? I had a horrible experience in meditation over the last two months and I want this 'suicidal' 'unloved' feeling to go away. How long did it take for these effects to wear off in you?
AnnAugust 11, 2016
I've been reading up on TM and watching videos about it -- there's been nothing but good things, not a single word that it could actually worsen depression. Don't researchers/the TM institution who dwell on their hundreds of positive findings, have a moral obligation to say it could worsen symptoms? So glad I found this article.
CawfulAugust 23, 2016
This article strikes me as having a lot of importance. A recognised effect that sometimes happens in psychiatric interventions - cognitive behavioural therapy, for instance - is that a therapy will not work well for a patient and the patient begins to self-blame (or sometimes feel blamed by the therapist) for 'not trying hard enough'. What the patient or therapist hasn't taken into account here is the strong individual differences between people, physiologically and psychologically, which will mean that different people will respond differently to different interventions. It's why personalised medicine is being regarded as the next big goal by geneticists and pharmacologists. Unfortunately meditation practitioners can fall into the same trap of not taking individual differences into account and, inadvertently or knowingly, create undeserved self-blame in the student. This is one of the few articles out there that acknowledges this. Personally, I have struggled with mindfulness meditation (though not given up) because of panic attacks during both therapist-led and self-led sessions. Which brings me to my second point, which I'm afraid is a bit round-about. I suffer from an autoimmune disease which, due to the immune system attacking parts of the brain involved in things like the fight or flight response, can have severe anxiety as one of its symptoms. I became badly ill with the autoimmune stuff aged 12, didn't attend school from that point onwards until going back part time aged 17, and every week day between those ages I was completely alone from the time I woke up until 5.30pm because my parents couldn't afford to stop working (living out in the countryside meant also no neighbours or foot traffic outside). A big health relapse at age 18 then put me back into the same situation, but by this time anxiety had appeared as a severe symptom. The next 2 years, and then another year when I was 23, were particularly extreme for the anxiety, so severe in fact that I entered one long panic attack that was only broken by sleep when I was too exhausted to do anything else. I existed on one tablespoon of cooked lentils and about 200ml of water a day for the first half of those 2 years because I was so permanently nauseous that anything beyond that amount I'd just throw up. I became malnourished and entered clinical starvation, developed hallucinations and 24 hour phobias (even of my mum at one point) and entered a totally depersonalized state where other people lost their appearance of humanity and instead looked like collections of molecules mechanistically interacting. The depersonalization was also directed at myself, meaning that I also felt like a terrifyingly impersonal set of molecules so could not even give myself human company. It was an ultimate loneliness, of the kind that monks occasionally encounter when isolation-based unguided (or badly guided) transcendental meditation goes wrong and, instead of losing their sense of self and connecting with the whole world, they lose connection to both (sometimes known as The Dark Night Phenomenon). Their loss of connection results from self-imposed isolation and accompanying introspection, mine resulted from isolation I didn't choose and during a very vulnerable period of brain development. It is hard to exaggerate what psychological suffering it is possible to feel under this state - I'm not given to hyperbole, but Hell on Earth about does it justice - of being at the greatest point of fear, like the strong rush of terror you might feel if you just saw your child fall off a high cliff, almost all the time for years on end. When I re-entered this state for the second time at 23, my mum had to stop me slitting my throat with a knife. I wasn't depressed. I didn't want to die, I just couldn't handle the extreme psychological and physical suffering any more. The reason I mention all this is that, in various places, I've seen meditation practitioners stating that anxiety and panic are not harmful and should be welcomed with curiosity. If you can do that, great. However, there needs to be awareness that in some individuals with either trauma-caused or endocrine damage-caused anxiety and panic, these states can be serious and dangerous and should not be dismissed so lightly - another great point this article touches on that is rarely mentioned. I've lost years of my life to anxiety and panic and nearly my life itself. Now at age 33 I still feel broken because, although the derailed fight or flight response is somewhat controlled by drugs, the neural pathways for the panic are now very deep grooves and are easy to slip down. It comes to mind that the maxim 'whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger' is hugely naive and also doesn't take account of whether the amount of suffering involved in a prolonged event is worth the potential gain the sufferer might have in the end. I hope I can find a meditation type that doesn't dip me back into that hellish state - which I know from personal experience can be both severe and prolonged - because I want to not be forever compelled to distract myself from those paths to darkness I know are seething there. But peoples' individual experiences do need to be taken seriously by practitioners, for the benefit of those affected and for the reputation of the practice.
EllaAugust 24, 2016
I've meditated on and off for several years now and my meditation routine has always been sporadic and inconsistent because of all the noise that comes with living in crowded social housing. That said, in the past, when I have been consistently meditating, I can definitely feel the positive cumulative effects gained, even after only a week. But recent changes in circumstances (being on welfare combined with the chronic worry of future poverty) have caused some kind of profound internal shift in me that I was unaware of until just now. I've started meditating again but now I feel worse after each session. This has not happened before. My anxiety has been ramped up immensely. It's depressing because I always felt that meditation was a stand-by comfort blanket, a special reserve source of spiritual comfort should I need it. Now I feel a valuable tool has left me. I shall have to do some research to find an alternative solution, which is one of the reasons I'm here on this site. I wish everyone who's posted here good luck on their quest.
TomerMarch 30, 2018
Hello. I have been a millionaire when I was young. For the last 5 years I've been on welfare. I also thought meditation was key. Now I am getting an understanding that there is no clean, simple way out of life's problems.
FireflyOctober 28, 2016
I used a type of meditation for years where I would just sit with the lights on low and listen to music - but like, *really* listen to it. It was similar to a type of mindfulness practice a counsellor later recommended to me, where you generally just heighten your awareness of your surroundings & your observation skills, and learn to listen rather than to judge the situation. I found it very helpful. On the other hand, I recently tried the body scan technique and found it uncomfortable almost right away - I quit when I got to my knees. In a group session we did a guided version of it, and I felt ill - I opened my eyes but since it was a group thing, and the lady's voice was so calming, I couldn't fully snap out of it. By the time it was done (and it only lasted a few minutes) I felt so ill that one of the facilitators took me aside to make sure I was alright, and a few others in the group had noticed I looked flushed and ill. Even thinking back on it makes me feel a little sick. All that, after less than 5 minutes of that type of meditation. All I can take away from that is that, clearly, not all types of meditation work the same way, and some will impact you more positively or negatively than others....
HugoDecember 15, 2016
This article and the comments opened my eyes. I have been practicing TM since 1977, so during almost 40 years. In the beginning I discovered that I was growing spiritually in a very fast way and during 1 ½ year, I had all the symptoms of enlightenment as described in Bloomberg's book about TM. I was active and in heaven at the same time. I was a spectator of my own (dynamic) life. Life was superb, and all my wishes were fulfilled almost before desiring them. My body and senses had become more than perfect. However, after this period, the decline started. Since then my life, up to now, turned out to be a real disaster, caused by all kind of anxieties and phobias. I could not function properly any more. I married several times, but all kind of anxieties did me stop the relations. I worked in many countries but always had to face my anxieties, especially in relation with other people. Now, 70 years old, I am living alone and isolated. During this period of 40 years I continued practicing TM. Sometimes I stopped, but after remembering the initial good enlightened period of 1 ½ years, I gave it another try and started again. Now, also thanks to this article, I have decided to stop practicing TM. Forever! 
PhilJanuary 26, 2017
Wow. That sounds so familiar. First time I ever read about others with similar experiences... I meditated about a year with binaural beats and just like Hugo, I experienced so many things that are connected to enlightenment. I was the most calm person, I felt like human for the first time. Then, suddenly, I felt nervousness, anxiety and/or depression after my meditations (no matter the technique). Since then I tried on and off to get where I was in this first year, to no avail. I always thought it must be some kind of emotional blockage, but now I'm not so sure anymore. Life feels like someone tries to put as much weight on your shoulder as you can carry. Feel finally ok? Here, get some more stuff to carry. Since I don't have a particular good connection to myself and my feelings, meditation was my holy grail. I wish it would work or there would be an alternative.
CFebruary 8, 2017
I have been practicing meditation on and off for approximately two years. Every time I commit to the practice my anxiety dramatically increases both mentally and physically. I have tried three different kinds... breathe focused, guided meditation and self love compassion meditation and immediately following I get super anxious and feel like I could be sick. I have decided that for me my anxiety flares up when I am alone, lonely and too much time to think. I now realize that for someone who has abandonment issues and also works alone each day for long periods it is not a good match. I think for a person who is highly stressed and surrounded by people daily it would be a great escape. For me it is an escape only to be alone yet again.
TomerMarch 30, 2018
I have meditated mindfulness basic guided meditations for the last 2 weeks. The meditations made me feel great. Like in garden of Eden. But the morning after I woke up with anxiety three times... I never had anxiety in my life. I had to take medication to remove the anxiety. I am also alone much of the time. It could be that too much alone plus meditation is too much. Also I know I have a great many subconscious fears. It could be that these fears were awakened.
AaroApril 5, 2018
I have been doing mindful meditation for a month or more and felt like it was really helping me, but I have had a nearly constant state of angst for a week now and am wondering if the meditation is bringing it on. I have always had a level of anxiety, but it hasn’t been a big deal. This seems to be going in the wrong direction now.
ManuelMarch 31, 2018
I have been through psychotherapy for long periods of time, and I acknowledge also that I have abandonment issues. I went to the 10 day retreat just having broken up with my girlfriend. It was pure hell during the retreat. Now I feel much worse and have to go back to therapy
GraceMay 26, 2017
Hello. Meditation makes me more anxious. It heightens my awareness too much. I'm already super aware of physical sensations and it is alarming because it causes the littlest pain or tightness to become bigger than it really is.
GregJanuary 6, 2018
I was trained in TM many years ago. I practiced initially for a year then stopped. Started again about 3 years later. Everything was going fine for about 4 or 5 months when I fell into a pretty intense clinical depression. I was 32 and had never experienced depression prior. I immediately stopped and was treated for depression over about 9 months. I have been mostly depression free now for over 20 years. I enjoyed the benefits of meditating, and would like to once again practice, but I am fearful that it may once again lead me down that path. After reading this article, I realized, for one, that I was meditating a lot. My instructor had me meditating twice daily for 15 minutes at a stretch with a few minutes to warm up and cool down. I've just put a call into the local instructor to discuss my issues and perhaps have a refresher.
KenJanuary 12, 2018
I've suffered from chronic depression since childhood. I learned TM. I loved it. I felt so good after practicing for a few weeks. I actually went a month with no depression, a first for me. Then it all came crashing down with the worst depressive episode of my life. I can't know that meditation caused this event, but the risk is too high to continue meditating. The anxiety, depression and fear of losing my sanity that I experienced were just too "over the top" to attempt to meditate again.
AnonymousJanuary 21, 2018
I finished a 10 day vipassana course on 12/31/17. I have been having extreme anxiety and not feeling like myself at all. Experiencing depression and my brain feeling foggy. During the course a lot of emotional repressed baggage came up and I got caught in it, I felt like a complete failure for not being able to just observe what was coming up and this only worsened the situation. I’m seeing a therapist to help me process what I went through. This was the most traumatic experience I have ever been through in my life as there was nobody to help get out of my own head. I was reliving all my traumas of the past. Just this week I have been able to meditate again for about 10-20 minutes a day. If anyone has experienced anything like this please reply to this comment. I had really high hopes of clarity going into this and have always had positive feelings during my mindfulness meditation over the last few years, so this traumatic experience is quite troubling.
LucasFebruary 20, 2018
My girlfriend attended the same course, but had to stop after 7/8 days as the process became too much for her. She has also suffered from heightened anxiety and some depressive periods since then. It will improve over time and therapy has helped her too. These 10 day intense courses are definitely not for everyone and personally I think they are quite irresponsible running such intense courses when some people have such negative side-effects.
bena leeMarch 3, 2018
I feel the same... I experienced panic attacks for the first time in my life after my last meditation.
DanApril 23, 2018
Many people have had adverse reaction from Goenka retreats, and unfortunately the leaders are not trained or empowered to help students. They are instructed to literally repeat the basic instructions to the student no matter what the student says as their problem. In your case, at a responsibly run meditation retreat, the teacher would have met with you each day, would have seen the problems as they were arising, and would have given you alternative practice advice ( likely having you do physical activity to ground you and assigning someone to look after you). Not adjusting the practice advice to meet the individual student's needs is dangerously irresponsible and it sometimes leads to suicides. However, the organization tends to just blame the individuals for having "done the technique wrong" or for "mixing techniques" somehow. My own experience at a 10 day Goenka Vipassana retreat was the same as yours. If you want more information on anxiety related side effects, I recommend looking into the work of Willoughby Britton, a Mindfulness researcher at Brown University who specializes on this topic.
Elsa AJanuary 27, 2018
Unlike many others, my problems arose during mindfulness prayer known as Adoration though this has also occurred during other meditations. I have GAD and possibly panic disorder and the combination of being hyper-aware of my surroundings and increased introspection (I'm already uncomfortably self-aware) drove me to nearly to a panic attack. However, there is hope! I found that whilst meditation isn't for me, structured reflections or doing simple tasks such as emptying the dishwasher or adult coloring and enjoying non-lyrical music simulates what I used to enjoy from meditation when I was much younger.
James RalphMay 9, 2018
Thanks for a great article which confirmed for me something which I had only, just a few hours ago, begun to suspect. After 15 years of increasingly profound and very rewarding meditation I realize, that at least for people like me with some degree of unresolved childhood trauma, intense meditation of any kind can indeed be a dangerous, double-edged sword. I first got into meditation as an attempt to understand how the inner me, who I knew to be extremely gentle, kind hearted and calm (Hey, I grow rare species of euphorbia, cook brilliantly, and over-decorate my immediate environment - and I'm straight for chrissakes!) could suddenly become so aggressive and explode into bouts of incandescent rage, without rhyme or reason. Therapy couldn't get to the bottom of it, nor conventional meditation, and I was so desperate to preserve my marriage to the long-suffering Love-Of-My-Life that I resorted to using the Holosync binaural beats system. This stuff should carry a toxic substance warning. I fell asleep during a session and awoke to a whole new reality: It triggered a neurological disorder called essential myoclonus, resulting in an unimaginably, distressing form of mental torture, where one's own brain, the very instrument we think we can rely upon to solve such problems, becomes itself the problem - the enemy within. I was at the time, a very happily married and successful entrepreneur and it literally shattered my life. It left me helpless, emotionally crippled, depressed, panic stricken and suicidal for the next 3 years. My scrambled brain lost most of our hard-earned fortune. When I finally emerged from that hell and felt it was "safe to go inside again" I was much more careful and stuck to organic "medo" methods, and this time with great success. But a few months back, enough weird new information had come to light about my childhood for that mischievous inner voice to suggest that perhaps I was ready for "The Truth". I said to myself; "If it is really a truth I will know it anyway, on some level, so why not? It literally took me to the grey door of a grey room and asked if I wanted to enter. I felt so blissful I let my mind go there and found myself in the one year in my life, age five, which I had completely excised from my memory. I had re-furnished it instead with invention and fantasies about my adored father, who had disappeared from my life at that time. Suddenly everything about that phantom year materialized in fractured but forensic clarity. I was of course five years old and his propensity for drugging and sexually abusing me, and other kids, just spewed out everywhere, reconnecting all the dots I'd spent a lifetime, so fastidiously keeping away from each other. I became a sobbing, screaming mess which was both devastatingly painful but also ultimately, liberating and cathartic. I should have stopped there but I was now so fascinated by the brilliance of my subconscious, and how readily I could access the fine detail of other memories, that I couldn't stop even when they were all laid out and complete, and every ounce of common sense was telling me it was time to move on. I was addicted to new discoveries but soon found there were no more to be had and that my "medos" were leaving me more and more depressed instead. I felt increasingly anxious, like the universe was telling me to start re-focussing outwards again, or suffer some other dire consequence. This article confirms for me the wisdom of that advice, which I now intend to follow, and see what life outside the walls of 15 years of meditation looks like. Meditation I realize, is simply a tool, not a panacea, nor an escape from reality. You have my eternal gratitude for bothering to put this article together, thank you.
Will MoffittMay 13, 2018
Hi James, I'm a freelance journalist based in the UK and I'm writing an article on the downsides of mindfulness. It would be brilliant to speak to you in more depth about this. Would that be possible?
JudithMay 12, 2018
I had suffered from a severe panic disorder for around 12 months before commencing meditation. I am medicated and see a psychiatrist weekly. Initially the meditation was once a week for about 15 minutes. I had also done short guided meditations. When the leader of the group returned from a long Buddhist retreat, this changed. Meditation was 50 minutes plus a request to attend at 6am and 7pm daily. After the second long meditation I felt anxious and "weird". The feeling persisted for days. This was upsetting as prior to the long meditations I had been feeling calmer. I have decided to discontinue meditation and rely on the insight of my very helpful psychiatrist.
douglas rogersMay 30, 2018
I took up TM in 1976, mostly to help with my body building efforts, by providing better rest. I rode the bus to the TM center with a young girl who had the same idea. At the induction it became clear that I was entering a religion. As I was a baptized and confirmed Christian, this caused some misgivings. My TM teacher said I really got in to the meditation. I did not opt for more training but continued twice daily for three years. I had a habit of getting up 2 hours early, consuming a lot of caffeine, and lifting weights as hard as I could on the caffeine, with forced breathing. After three years, I had to cut the caffeine way back because it caused me to hyperventilate. I had moved to the Mojave Dessert and had to drive hundreds of miles on the highway to get anywhere. This drive always made me hyperventilate. Also, long lectures that used to put me to sleep would make me hyperventilate. I quit meditating for a year and did kind of a Christian purge. I seemed to be stuck with the hyperventilation. By the way it is not as portrayed on TV. You get very limp muscles, weak breathing, and a gagging feeling. Bag breathing will fix it but you get even more relaxed and it comes right back. Curiously, alcohol will stop it in a couple of minutes! A few years ago, I discovered Dr. Rakimov's Normal Breathing. The resulting increase of CO2 pretty much stopped the hyperventilation. About that time I resumed an afternoon TM type meditation after drinking about 4 oz. white wine. I don't use the mantra but just sit still with eyes closed and get the TM response. I still get a bit of hyperventilation but this is fixed by slow nose or one nostril breathing, or, sometimes, 20 second controlled pause breath.
AntonJune 10, 2018
This is a very interesting article. I started meditation a short while back but I seem to have problems with my breathing when focusing on a mantra. The same thing happens when I try mediating using my breath (inhale - exhale type). I get a tightness in the middle of my abdomen. I really want to continue meditating as I have anxiety and I've been told that it would help my anxiety. Any advice would be much appreciated.
EllaAugust 27, 2018
For various reasons, including the problem of noise, which comes from living in social housing, I meditate sporadically. When I have been meditating consistently I feel the benefit enormously. It really helps. A few weeks ago I started meditating again, after a long break. My form of meditation consists of a nonsensical word mantra that is linked to my calm centre. This is activated by focusing on the breath. At the same time I have an ongoing issue with metal gates banging in the apartment block where I live. It has been an ongoing battle with my landlord. I have asked for help numerous times but they are permanently disinterested. The problem of sudden, unexpected loud bangs from metal gates banging is ongoing. Over time it has affected my mental and physical health. It's affected my sleep too. So I'm dismayed to find that after a few weeks of meditating again I am much more sensitive to the sounds of banging gates. It makes me much more upset. More than before. I don't know whether to stop meditating or to continue with it.
BolanSeptember 16, 2018
I'd recommend the use of earplugs. There are different kinds, so it might take some experimentation to find what works best for you. I sleep on my side, so the kind issued in the military, the kind with the handle don't work well, and neither do the cylindrical spongy type, unmodified, because they protrude from my ears too much. What I learned to do is to cut them in half. The kind you use is less important for sitting, standing, or walking meditation, of course.

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