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10 Powerful Suicide Prevention Quotes & Sayings

Many people get depressed at one point or another throughout life. Whether it’s caused by death of a family member, environmental stress, or mental illness, feelings of depression can become difficult for many people. Unfortunately some people get so depressed as a result of their mental illness or life circumstances, that they consider suicide as an option to escape from their emotional pain.

Most people who consider suicide don’t really want to die, they just don’t know how to cope with or eliminate the pain they are going through. If you know someone who is suicidal or you are suicidal yourself, getting professional assistance and learning suicide prevention strategies can be of significant help. Included below are some suicide prevention quotes that can be referenced during difficult times.

10 Powerful Suicide Prevention Quotes & Sayings

Below are quotes that align with suicide prevention. The underlying message of all these quotes is to continue living, with each quote providing a unique reason and perspective. For most people, suicidal feelings are caused by a lack of pleasure and/or an inability to cope with the pain that they are experiencing.

By increasing pleasure and coping resources in a person’s life, the possibility of suicide diminishes significantly.  If you want to stay educated on the topic of suicide, you may want to read the following:  suicide warning signs, causes of suicide, and suicide risk factors.

1. “When you feel like giving up, just remember the reason why you held on for so long.” – Unknown

This is a powerful quote that challenges a person who is suicidal to think about the reasons why they continued to fight when times got tough. Most people have powerful reasons for fighting through their pain. This quote makes you think about the aspects of your life that have significant meaning and that force you to keep going even when you don’t feel like it. Whether you want to keep fighting to provide for your family, make a difference in the world, or to be strong for your significant other, chances are good you have a reason to keep living.

2. “Suicide doesn’t end the chances of life getting worse, it eliminates the possibility of it ever getting any better.” – Unknown

Many people who are deeply depressed have difficulty realizing that their life will eventually get better. Whether it’s from a scientific breakthrough involving a new treatment for their condition or something as simple as making a new friend, we can recover from feelings of depression and pain. If you commit suicide, you eliminate all hope for the future and you eliminate the chance to find enjoyment in life.

3. “If you are looking for a sign not to kill yourself, this is it.” – Unknown

If you are looking for some sign to stay alive, consider this quote your sign.  Whether you know it or not, the world needs your talents and unique inner gifts.  You have the opportunity to make some sort of positive difference in this world.  If you were looking for a sign from God, the Universe, or an Angel to continue living, consider this your sign.  Sometimes a simple sign letting you know that someone cares and wants you to keep living is all that you need.

4. “Anyone desperate enough for suicide should be desperate enough to go to creative extremes to solve problems: elope at midnight, stow away on the boat to New Zealand and start over, do what they always wanted to do but were afraid to try.” – Richard Bach

Many people who contemplate suicide don’t realize how much enjoyment they could get out of life if they challenged these feelings. This quote by Richard Bach says that if you are desperate enough for suicide, you should be able to use other extreme methods to overcome problems and cope with life. If there were things that you always wanted to try, you mind as well do those things before you end your life.  Since there are so many fun things to do, you mind as well build up the courage to do them while living rather than permanently ending your life.  This quote should serve as a calling to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do, without any fear.

5.  “When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe

When people are stuck in a deep depression or facing any difficult challenge, it is often appealing to give up on life.  If you feel as though you can no longer weather the storm of depressive emotion, this exactly when you need to dig deeper and push yourself to survive this challenge.  Depressive emotion is never permanent – feelings of pleasure and happiness will return, and when they do – you’ll be glad you were strong enough to continue living.

Who knows if continuing to live for another year, week, or even day – will result in a major scientific advance or emerging technology that radically transforms your mood from doom and gloom to happiness.  With deliberate effort and experimentation to improve your mood such as in the form of: medication, psychotherapy, lifestyle design, biohacking, neurostimulation, or even simply “toughing it out” – odds are in your favor that you’ll experience happiness.

Pleasure and pain are two aspects of life (e.g. “yin” and the “yang”) – they are inseparable.  If you are experiencing the painful side of the coin right now, you will inevitably experience the pleasurable side in the future – the tide will turn.

6. “If you want to show me that you really love me, don’t say that you would die for me, instead stay alive for me.” – Unknown

This quote expresses deep sentiment from a friend, spouse, or a partner in a close relationship. When talking to someone who is suicidal or depressed, they may feel like a burden to others and want to end their life.  This quote should serve as a personal reminder from others that they would much rather you stay alive than die because you feel like a burden.  If you really want to sacrifice your life for someone else, do it by living and contributing to make their life better rather than eliminating your existence.

7. “Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.” – Unknown

When feeling suicidal, many people believe they have no reason to continue living. The fact that you are alive and have a beating heart is reason enough to keep living. Many depressed people search for a specific “purpose” in life when in reality, you don’t need a purpose or reason for being alive. If you are alive, you have the opportunity to do whatever you want in the world.  You may not have awakened to a specific life mission yet, and that’s alright – you have plenty of time to figure out what you want your purpose to be.

8. “The person who completes suicide, dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand … Why?” – Clark (2001)

Although the person who commits suicide only dies once, everyone that knew them will be affected by their death. This means that the act of suicide can cause a ripple effect, dispersing pain and grief among the survivors. If you take your own life, the act may cause other people to become deeply saddened and depressed.  Essentially many of the emotions that you experienced while depressed get passed on to remaining survivors.

It can be very difficult to recover from the death of a loved one, but it is usually more difficult if the individual took their own life.  The act of suicide leaves people behind with feelings of confusion, shame, and guilt that they couldn’t have done something about it.  This essentially drains them of their livelihood and “kills” them many times on the inside.  In some cases, the pain that a survivor feels actually leads them to follow through with the same act; further exacerbating the negative “ripples.”

9. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

This quote doesn’t apply to everyone who is feeling suicidal, because not everyone has “temporary” problems.  In the event that you don’t have a “temporary” problem, please ignore this quote and read some of the others.  With that said, many people do end up feeling suicidal as a result of significant, yet temporary changes that life throws at us.  Examples of temporary problems include experiencing a break up in a relationship or losing a job.

These are highly significant changes that can make even the most optimistic, high-functioning people feel suicidal.  In these cases, it is important to realize that the act of committing suicide would be a permanent solution to a problem that is only temporary – you will eventually learn, grow, and heal from the situation.  Chaotic life circumstances such as moving to a new city, feeling lonely, getting bullied, and being in debt are all temporary.  As you continue living, you will learn to cope with these problems and will realize that suicide was never a good option.

10. “Never never never give up.” – Winston Churchill

The act of suicide is associated with giving up on life. Even though you may feel so much pain that you don’t know how you’re going to survive, keep fighting to live another day. It may feel as though you are living in a nightmare and feel completely hopeless, but continue to push through each day.  By never giving up you are essentially building inner strength and resilience that nobody can ever take away.

When giving up seems like the easiest option and odds are stacked against you, always keep pushing and always keep going. The resistance from fighting our suicidal feelings often accumulates, and we feel as though we will collapse.  Sometimes life challenges us to keep going even when we feel as though recovery is impossible.

Other Suicide Prevention Quotes

Several other suicide prevention quotes have been compiled below. If you have another quote that you found helpful for suicide prevention, feel free to share it in the comments section below.  If you’d like to read other related sayings, be sure to check out suicidal quotes and depression quotes for further inspiration.

  • “Because if you kill yourself, you’re also going to kill the people who love you.”
  • “You don’t want to die, you just want the pain to go away.”
  • “No, you aren’t alone. Yes, we all feel this way sometimes. No, you won’t always feel like this. Yes, the world is a better place with you in it.”

Suicide prevention quotes can be helpful

If you have ever been suicidal, you likely understand that it can be quite difficult to escape the feeling. While suicidal, sometimes the only thing you can do is to give yourself a little bit of psychological hope in the form of inspirational quotes. Quotes don’t take the pain away, but they usually shift our perspective enough to give us a little bit of hope, allowing us to make it through the day and cope with the pain.

It can be incredibly difficult to continue living when we feel suicidal. No one chooses to feel suicidal intentionally, but this feeling is a reality for many people. You may currently be in a lot of pain, but you never know what’s in store for your future. Your future could be filled with more pleasure than you ever expected, but if you follow through with suicide, you’ll never get to experience that pleasure or even get to experience relief.

Life is never going to be “easy” for anyone, but you can learn from your past, live in the present, and work to better your future. No matter who you are or how suicidal you feel, there is treasure on your inside. You are completely unique and have a gift to offer the world that is completely unique. Leaving the world prematurely by taking your own life will also be taking the gift that you were meant to share with others, and ultimately this world will not be as bright as it was meant to be.

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48 thoughts on “10 Powerful Suicide Prevention Quotes & Sayings”

  1. 8 years ago today, the man I had been married to for almost 29 years, decided he would be better off dead than alive. He not only left me behind, he left his children and grand children. His death was the end of a life, the end of the life we had created.

    The end of a family. Our family fell apart that day… Totally apart… His family totally turned against us, my children and I. After having them as family all their lives, my children now had no one but me and their own children. We were ostracized, demonized, threatened, followed and slandered in our own little town.

    They went to my husbands place of employment and took everything that he had there as a diesel mechanic. Told people we thought were our friends, that I killed him, that I pulled the trigger, that I forced him to kill himself. For my own safety, I had to leave my home, leave my job and find a place with police security to live.

    This did not stop them, they tried to have me arrested and charged with murder, send me “I know where you are” messages, driving by and pretend shooting my son and his children, yelling from a neighbor’s yard that they were going to kill him and his children… I could go on and on…

    Committing suicide doesn’t just take you physically out of the equation. It opens up a whole lot of hurt for those you claimed to love as the love of your life in your goodbye note. I lost the person I promised to spend the rest of my life with, my children lost their dad, my grandchildren will never know their Papa.

    My son has inherited his depressive trait and I worry for his life every day. Do you realized the damage that you did with that 1 bullet? Do you realized that you are the only one with permanent escape? Do you realize how much you are missing?

    Do you realize how much you were truly loved, how we wanted nothing more for you than to be happy? That this message would never have to be written? For anyone contemplating this quick solution, answer these questions honestly. If you love anyone other than yourself, you would change your mind. For them…

    Reply
  2. I’m going through a really hard time and even in reading these quotes, I’m still finding it very difficult. People tell me these things all the time but, I really feel worthless and unwanted. I didn’t know I could feel this low, even though I have attempted suicide before.

    I just want to be happy. I feel like I’m letting everyone I care about down for having these thoughts again. I don’t know how to get out of this frame of mind. My breathing has changed, I’m full of anxiety, and I can’t sleep. I really don’t feel loved.

    Reply
    • Hey Julio. Hope you are feeling better, I don’t judge you because I am not in your shoes. I know you might be going some difficult times, but time also has the power to heal you. What you need to do is change the way you think, open your mind and watch motivational videos, think positive.

      If you feel negative about something – try to block that thought. Do something good for yourself, drink water do some exercise anything go running, do yoga, some push ups so your energy will not be put only on the negative situations.

      We are all having issues and at some point in our lives we feel unwanted and sad but at the end – the only person who you need to be focus on is yourself. Once you learn how to love you and how to take care of you – you will be able to open your heart for somebody else.

      Read one of these quotes everyday out loud:

      -“The Pessimist Sees Difficulty In Every Opportunity. The Optimist Sees Opportunity In Every Difficulty.” – Winston Churchill

      -“The Man Who Has Confidence In Himself Gains The Confidence Of Others.” – Hasidic Proverb

      They are full of positive energy. I hope I can help you a little with this, the rest is on you.

      Reply
  3. This really helped. I have a friend who always talks about taking her life and actually did try to do it once if it wasn’t for us stopping her.

    Reply
  4. I am texting a friend who is texting a friend who is suicidal and saying: “You are only put through what you can handle in life, you will get through it. YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS” really helped.

    Reply
  5. My brother committed suicide, my family will never be the same. I will never be the same. I changes people. My heart goes out to anyone please if you ever want to end it all, stop and think what it’s going to do to your mom. My mom died 6 months after my brother’s suicide and she never forgave herself. She blamed herself.

    She would say, “I let him down.” She was a good mom, but I can understand her reasoning too. To anyone thinking of doing this please stop, get help don’t check out, because it leaves your loved one’s different. They feel helpless hopeless like they did something wrong. My brother’s son still says if only I had been a better son.

    But that’s not true – he was the best son and his father was so proud of him. Please PLEASE PLEASE SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER! I’m sorry. I’m not trying to take anyone’s pain from them I can only speak of my own experience. I can’t fathom the pain of someone who commits suicide. God Bless you all, but it’s not the answer. Stay with us – don’t leave – not like that. Thank you. T.J.W.

    Reply
  6. You know I keep reading the comments you guys write and I am inspired to do something big in this world, and to everyone out there feeling suicidal or just depressed even… take a breath… and think about your happiest time, even if it is little like the first time you had an ice cream cone or the first time you went to an amusement park. Just sit and take in the smell of your happiest memory… the sounds… the feeling inside you… and the excitement. Just go to a happy place even thought its temporary have in your mind the next happiest moment and what it will be like and live for it. LIVE FOR IT! (P.S. When I do all caps that is for emphasis).

    Reply
  7. I imagine blowing my brains out and how it would feel. I manage to cope well but when it all piles on top of me straight away I just think bang. I live for a family member, she’s my world and try to do my best to make her life better I feel like that’s one of my purposes, when she turns on me though so does the world, I am dependent on her… I sometimes think if she dies and the pain quadruples or whatever that will be the best thing to do but I know it’s not, character is built in the struggle.

    I remember asking or praying for bad times, because I felt my character wasn’t good enough. I knew that me going through bad times would make me better person, give me resilience, make me stronger and strengthen my character. I remember saying “I want the worst luck possible, give it me all, as hard as you can give I want it” I know that after bad luck comes great fortune and that if I went through a ton of heavy bad luck there would be incredible good luck eventually down the line.

    Anyway I got what I asked for, I was attacked by locals in the new area I moved to, someone paid them to attack me and I never did anything wrong. I was accused of breaking into someone’s house and stealing a laptop, I never, it was my mums friend, she had brain tumours, and they were affecting her character so she accused me of doing that and her sons dad (a rich and powerful person in the area) payed the local thugs to attack me. I survived the attack and got away unscathed but I did have to resort to physical violence to defend myself.

    The local thugs after their failed attempt of attacking me then targeted my house, they threw a brick through the window whilst my sister and friend was on the couch behind it. One thing led to another then they came back again and attacked a family member with a hammer, hitting him on the head with it. 2 of them were sent to prison for 6 1/2 years. They’re out now.

    After this I turned to drugs, smoking a lot of cannabis, staying up late, and neglecting myself. I then went through a psychotic episode where I was experiencing unusual experiences and began to hear voices. Later I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and took to the hospital. I was let out after a week because I was no threat to anybody. I’m just a peaceful guy who wants to get on with his life and have my family happy.

    I met a psychologist who has supported me tremendously, after a few years of seeing him he feels I’ve been misdiagnosed and that I need to be reassessed. Getting diagnosed with schizophrenia is the worst thing. I already went from having low confidence to being plummeted into the depths of darkness. I’m getting over that now but still when things get hard I picture blowing my brains out.

    I got what I asked for anyway (bad luck) and the whole world including myself turned against me. All I have left is that little bit of hope, that inner positive voice pushing me forward, willing me towards my dreams in hoping one day that I’ll get there and I’ll be happy again. I sometimes think if I asked for too much (bad luck) and that I won’t get through this and get to see the new improved me. Part of me thinks I’ll die before I get there through illness or whatever.

    So I guess the saying be careful what you wish for applied here but I still have hope and keep plodding on, just hope that one day I can reach the light. Positives out of this: I’ve become more spiritual, I’m smarter, wiser and more clever, I’ve realised how much family means, and I’m generally more of a thoughtful person now. I value things more.

    Thanks for these quotes they really helped.

    Reply
    • I hope life is better for you now. I get a lot of inspiration from your story. The only thing, I didn’t really ask for it. :) But hey “law of attraction”? Ask for better things now.

      Reply
  8. Tough to read but helped alot. Since I was a kid I’ve battled with suicidal thoughts but been in a place now that I can challenge it instead of it getting the better of me. Victory is in being alive.

    Reply
  9. Thank you so much for this post it really gave me hope and changed my perspective. I feel like a burden when I vent too much to my close friends about my problems. I truly appreciate from the bottom of my heart for this and will cherish it. If I ever have suicidal thoughts again I will most definitely refer back to this just to give myself the hope I need to keep on going.

    Reply
  10. Suicide and depression are very complex feelings. We can’t assume that the depression will just disappear one day. Some individuals have mental illness and bad habits to deal with. Just saying to get over it or stay alive from another person will not always help the individual because they might not understand or think that person knows how it truly feels.

    I’m not discouraging people that are trying to help but people that tell others to “get over it” or “give yourself to god” isn’t always the kind of words that a person wants to hear or need to hear. It’s more complicated and difficult to do. In my opinion the person needs help in order to change their behavioral thinking and habits but also be encouraged to know that it won’t change after one night or maybe a couple of months.

    It takes time to find the source that is causing the depression. It takes time to also convince yourself why you should live. I don’t believe in medication but I believe in medication for a temporary affect for a person. If someone is really that depressed needs a little crutch but if they take medication they need a guidance to help them find the source of what makes them feel like they shouldn’t be alive anymore and then be gradually taken off the medication, but that process might take years.

    Reply
  11. Thank you for this post, I lost only my brother to suicide 22 years ago. 7 months ago my fiancee died from and accidental overdose. I can only say the past 7 months have been a living hell! I had at one point attempted 2 months ago. I went to my doctor and asked to be put on antidepressants. I don’t ever want my 3 boys to ever feel an ounce of what I feel everyday. Thank you again for the post. I will continue reading these quotes to remind me there is end to this hell!

    Reply
  12. I wish I was one of those people who woke up each morning and started the day fresh, waking up feeling exited for the day, energetic and charismatic, full of talent and creativity, with lots of good friends to talk with and strong social skills.

    Reply
  13. Hi everybody. My name is Katherine and I know nobody will know that I’ve wrote here but here goes. I am always thinking why we are so poor. I am depressed all the time, but I have known God and the happiness from relatives. But most of the time I am alone and everybody busy with their authority and their identities, so I am too scared to ask for advice.

    I have been without a friend for a long time now, I just live my days the same routine over and over. I am.not intelligent and I am jobless. I have problems trying to get what I want and I feel so alone and without anyone. Suicide is far from me but I just want to be happy. Why does the world not care? Or keep thinking I can do it?

    What if I cannot do it? I’m so sick and tired of people leaving me alone when I’m a real breathing human being. I’ve always thought that I can be happy in this life but life is a mad experiment. I don’t want to be alone and depressed… I am not capable of enduring this any longer. I’m so so sick of people trying to tell you that there’s no problem. Xoxo

    Reply
    • Katherine, there is more joy in the world than we will ever be able to comprehend, and you are part of it, even if it doesn’t seem that way right now. But there are problems too, as you know well. Those go deep and make us weary.

      They hurt and make us lash out or draw away. I also am very sensitive, but have learned that this is not a weakness. It means you have perception and insight. It means you will be able to notice and help, really help, when you see others in pain. It will take practice, it has taken more practice than I thought it would, but the rewards are better too.

      Just being able to remember that sometimes I have been brave and stood up, and sometimes really did help or make peace, and did not give up, gives me more strength to keep going now. So you keep going too, do not grow weary of doing right and I promise ‘Past tears are present strength’ as George MacDonald said.

      Reply
  14. So glad to read what everyone had shared. It’s too bad that when someone experiences this feeling in a time of distress there’s someone that supposedly loves you but would actually use that against you for evil.

    Reply
  15. My son was diagnosed with depression in July of last year. He was lost in his emotions and struggling everyday. He was in the hospital a couple times for his depression. It hit him hard! Then on November 1, our lives changed when he tried to take his life. He was in the ICU for 2 months, not sure if he was going to make it. He survived and now is on the road to recovery. There is not much help around for us or him.

    No one wants to talk about suicide or depression, but we are living it everyday. I’m very disappointed in the mental health institute. I’m worried for him to have to live with his action for the rest of his life. He seems to be in good spirits and happy to be alive but it’s so hard to watch him struggle!

    Reply
  16. I’m a twelve year old girl. I’m very depressed and suicidal. I’ll tell some of my story, but not all of it, it hurts to say, I’m sorry… For one, my father is and has been an issue for a while. He’s a player and I have 3 half siblings. I didn’t even know they existed until a few months ago. My mother is just… a b*tch. She says she’s trying to help me, but I know she lies. I have some proof of her lies. It’s a little complicated though.

    She also has a boyfriend I don’t care for, he’s rude and bosses me around because he knows I’m sensitive and weak… Another reason is my beautiful cousin… I adore him so much. Unfortunately, I cannot see him anymore in my life. Due to some family problems and custody of which parent and court, politics stuff. (Sorry I’m 12, I don’t know much about having a child and custody of it!) I almost cried on the bus today because he’s getting older and I haven’t seen him in about 2 or 3 years.

    He’s 9 years old now. I wonder how he’s grown and I really love him, so much. He’s the only one who I enjoy and he plays and hugs me, and listens. I won’t get into any details of how this problem happened. These are only some reasons I’m suicidal and depressed. I’ve been drawing on myself and toying the idea of cutting. I’ve fearlessly taken pills before but they didn’t work. I still want pain and to die.

    People make fun of me because I dress as a boy, my bisexuality, and because I’m different. I’m also not a believer in Him. I’m in therapy, but I refuse to talk to the man that speaks with me. I want help, but I also don’t want help. I’m struggling and very confused. Help but not help, please?…

    Reply
    • Arwen, You’re beautiful and perfect. Just the way you are. I know how hard life seems sometimes. Trust me, I attempted suicide twice. The first time by overdose, the second – cutting. I started cutting when I was 11 years old. I stopped when I was 17. I’ve lost 2 loved ones to suicide and many other friends and family members have lost their lives too quickly.

      My step dad and I never got along. He would get drunk and yell at me because “I didn’t appreciate him and loved my junkie father more than him”. Sometimes he would get really angry and he’d shove me around. I also suffered from mental illness for most of my life, untreated until I was 16. I hated life, I hated myself, and I wanted to die. I didn’t think I’d live past 18 years old. I am 21 now with a beautiful son and I have moved past all of my past horrors.

      There are people that love you so much. You can do absolutely ANYTHING you set your mind to. I have been through hell and back; my mission today is to tell my story to young people like you. You are worth more than what has happened to you. You are incredible. You were put on this Earth for a purpose. You may not know what that is just yet. But you’ll never know unless you stick around to find out. I love you. I don’t know you – but I know your pain, your strength.

      You have a fire deep inside if you look hard enough. That’s your will to live. I hope you’re able to embrace your fire. I hope you are able to find your true strength. I hope That you find your reason to stay. This world would NEVER be the same without you. Please stay. Love, Always -Anna.

      Reply
  17. Thank you. Thank you so much for this. Thanks thank thank YOU thank you. I thought I was in my finals days. I can see and feel some light finally. I don’t know how I can ever repay you. Sometimes I just feel I’m completely alone in this world.

    Reply
  18. I have tried to commit suicide- an overdose. I didn’t follow through- but I did have to go to a lot of places. The thing I realized though; is that suicide really isn’t the way to make things better. After all the places I went (for help) and I came home – I picked up ways to stop myself from making impulsive decisions. It’s way better to breathe and try to distract yourself from that thought – you have a lot of time for things to get better.

    Reply
  19. I’m depressed and have been for most of my life. It was caused by child abuse, physical neglect, verbal abuse, and lots of fighting that started at a young age. I am 15 1/2 years old and I have tried cutting once maybe about 2 months ago and I never want to do that again. My depression has been very bad lately and I cry a lot punch the door to relieve stress. I need a way out of this for I am very tired of it and I just wish it would end.

    The fighting with my mom and struggles with my boyfriend who wants me to quit. I think my depression got worse because of my memories from the past I try to move on but I have so many regrets along with a very bad temper. I just wish I’d quit having suicidal thoughts and crying all the time. I am on medication but it isn’t helping. I just want to be happy and for the pain to go away.

    Reply
    • Sydney,

      There is a way out for you and that is to trust that God has given you the strength to beat this thing. We are all products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. I was repeatedly molested by my uncle when I was in elementary school. I never told anyone because I was afraid that I was doing something wrong and that I was going to get in trouble; so I lived this nightmare alone. As I got older, I found myself in one physically, emotionally, mentally and/or spiritually abusive relationship after another. Then one day, I made a conscious decision that I was no longer going to be a victim – I was not going to let anyone else abuse me and that included me. I was no longer going to abuse me either. It was not easy, but through God and a few people He sent my way, I made it through and I am now happy. Ironically, I am not in a relationship now and couldn’t be happier. I had to learn to love me in order that I may love someone else. I had to learn to love me in order to allow anyone else to love me as well.

      Don’t wait as long as I did to make that decision (I am now 54). It will not be easy, but it will be well worth it. As Mariah Carey once sang:

      There’s a hero
      If you look inside your heart
      You don’t have to be afraid
      Of what you are
      There’s an answer
      If you reach into your soul
      And the sorrow that you know
      Will melt away

      And then a hero comes along
      With the strength to carry on
      And you cast your fears aside
      And you know you can survive
      So when you feel like hope is gone
      Look inside you and be strong
      And you’ll finally see the truth
      That a hero lies in you

      It’s a long, road
      When you face the world alone
      No one reaches out a hand
      For you to hold
      You can find love
      If you search within yourself
      And the emptiness you felt
      Will disappear

      Lord knows
      Dreams are hard to follow
      But don’t let anyone
      Tear them away
      Hold on
      There will be tomorrow
      In time you’ll find the way

      And then a hero comes along
      With the strength to carry on
      And you cast your fears aside
      And you know you can survive
      So when you feel like hope is gone
      Look inside you and be strong
      And you’ll finally see the truth
      That a hero lies in you

      I’m praying for you, Sydney. You and God are the majority. Don’t give up – find that hero inside you.

      God bless…

      Reply
      • I want to thank you for your comment. I am 59 almost 60 going through what I believe the worst time in my life. I lost three very high pain job seven months ago and I have not been able to find work. Broke up with the man that I was engaged to. And I am suffering two losses and separating us from my family I feel very isolated and very alone.

        So very worried about my finances and of course I do not have a boyfriend or husband or anyone to lean on. I do not drink or drug. Looking for work has changed and is very time consuming in creating and updating resumes to fit each and every position applying for and I am finding that I am now have to apply for lower paying jobs.

        How does a person adjust to that in there lives? I cannot sell my house because I am upside down on it. I feel so terribly abandoned by God. I’ve prayed and prayed for months and months on this. I smoke cigarettes a lot in order to deaden the pain. I started taking anti depressants and anti anxiety pills that have help but not by much and I am so heartbroken. So torn up by the end of that relationship.

        To read the Mariah Carey song does help. So I want to thank you for this. If any one prays out there please pray for me to get a job making at least 40k a year. It’s been 7 MONTHS. Unemployment insurance has run out and I am living on very little savings and I am hurting. People Love me but there is no one to wake up to in the mornings with.

        No one to share my day with or to hold me with or for me to be with day in and day out. I am terribly sick tonight and the pain is that kind of pain. So so great that really it’s just not worth it to stick around. To see what? To have a lot of blessings given to you then have them suddenly taken away? That has been my life… look I am trying here but You Know…

        This is God? Is he Here in me Working for me? Where? And Why must I go through this? All of my life not just now but so so much sexual abuse, bullying, put downs and dysfunctional growing up. Fighting fighting fighting decades of it. Never finding a safe harbor just fighting and I am TIRED!

        Reply
  20. Uh I’ve been though stuff like this. I was very angry all the time, but I’ve learned that being positive is how you are going to help others. I also think that calling the people who don’t kill themselves “survivors” will help those who need this the most. We are more like your friends we want to be there for ya’ll, not just survive suicide.

    Reply
  21. If only it were that easy. For many of us, it is really complex and we are victims of ourselves, unable to escape as we are trapped and guilty with self loathing. Finding something to enjoy or be successful with seems history. I’m still fighting to carry on each day, but seem unable to find peace despite the kindness of all around me. Keep on keeping on.

    Reply
    • I hear you, James. Living feels like a huge burden sometimes! I, for one, am happy you exist. Like you said, keep on keeping on. :)

      Reply
    • That’s right.. “Keep on keeping on” there are those around you who truly love you and will thank you for it. You were put on this earth for a reason and maybe one day you will be that light of hope for others who feel the same as you… Shine brightly ;) and keep on keeping on…

      Reply
    • James,

      You must make a conscious decision to no longer be a victim. You have to learn to love yourself. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself, “I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Even if you don’t believe it, say it anyway, at least twice a day…eventually, you will start believing it and it’s uphill from there. No, it is not going to be easy; but in the end, you will be stronger…better…no longer a victim, but a victor. I commented on Sydney S’s post below. Please take the time to read it as it applies to you as well. “A hero lies in you…”

      God bless…

      Reply
    • One and a half years on I’m still suicidal, have become much weaker and feeling the inevitable consequences of this terrible thing. I’ve been worn down by it all, despite weekly psychotherapy. It’s like a cancer without a cure for some of us even though there is nothing to see, there is a complex personal web of problems, that I can’t see a solution to, only regrets from the past, that would have been so easy to avoid at the time.

      Reply
      • James M and others. We all have our individual reasons or ways or medical conditions that got us to that darkest most hopeless place. I have been there a few times in my life and reached out for help each time. The first time, I was still in High School I remember my mom and I kind of arguing, at one point she said “what is wrong!?” and I stated “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

        When she said “try me” I did and stated that “there is something inside of me that wants me to die. It is not me, it is something else.” This was back in the day when you didn’t have councilors readily available. Another time I had to reach for help, I called someone I hadn’t talked to in a very long time and told them. It was easier to be on the phone than face to face.

        Not having talked to her for many years made it less personal and hard for me. She insisted I at least go home and tell my husband. I did. I think it was him that got my mom involved knowing my previous feelings years before. They talked to me, and I just said what I said at the time figuring I had nothing to lose at that point. I finally agreed that if someone else made the appt I would at least go talk to someone.

        When I mentioned my concern that since my husband and I were not in the best of places marriage-wise, if I went to a “shrink” that would be held over me if we ended up divorced and I had to fight for the kids. My husband very wisely stated, “Well, then you can say, sure maybe you were depressed, but at least you were smart enough to get help.” With that said, I did go to the dr.

        That appt did not go so well as the dr wanted to put me on antidepressants and I said “No. What the heck is a pill going to fix?” It won’t change anything about “my life”. Eventually I had to go to a few doctors and for a few years. I was diagnosed with major depression. My two mantras at that time were, “It just doesn’t matter” and “Life is too LONG to live like this.”

        Both times I had to fight my way back out of the hopelessness. My point is, at least make sure you tell SOMEBODY, seriously and honestly. Someone who CAN hold you accountable. It has been at least 30 years, I am still on antidepressants, happily. I used to be embarrassed about being on them. My pharmacist said many people you wouldn’t even think of are on them, it is no big deal.

        As I got better, I didn’t really care who knew anymore. “At least I was smart enough to get help.” I no longer hesitate to share my story with others. (I used to hold back because I thought people would say, “what do you have to be depressed about?”). I had learned that depression does not have to be “about something” it just is. A medical condition that needs medicine.

        I have learned that feelings aren’t right or wrong – what you do about those feelings can be right or wrong. As the medicine took effect and I went to the dr appts and worked on my thought processes. (Before you could say my shirt was red and I would immediately think you were telling me I didn’t fit in because everyone else was wearing blue. In fact they would be trying to give me credit for being different, or that I looked good in red, everyone else was wearing blue because that is what their parents bought for them. Don’t take everything thing personally and negatively).

        Perhaps one should think of today and future days as bonus days, since we could have been gone “yesterday”. I don’t take everything so personally and hurtfully because it truly doesn’t matter in the big picture. I am here, you can’t hurt me as much as I was thinking of hurting myself. I get frustrated when people say, find your purpose in life. No I don’t have to have a “purpose” as you think of it.

        God put me here and it is HIS purpose that matters. If he wanted me gone, HE would make that happen. I have decided for me, My outlook is to always be on alert for anyone who seems depressed and reach out to them. I have asked people straight out to make an appt for them. I have told people to call me ANY time day or night, whatever it takes to see you through.

        I have decided that maybe I will never have this “purpose” as humans call it. My “purpose” is what God wants. AND just maybe he just wants me to be KIND to others. Sometimes there are people who I can see need kindness, other times there are people who I figure don’t deserve kindness. For me, I will just do the best I can in life, until I am no longer here. (AND I wont be gone by my own hand!).

        For anyone reaching out, speak loudly until you are heard. Be honest about your feelings, they are not right or wrong. (what you do about those feelings could be right or wrong). Try reaching out to someone not “so close to the situation”. Have someone “looking out for you”. (I told a few people I was scared to be alone as I did not trust myself).

        Don’t take all comments as slights against you. Remember that everyday is a gift that you might not have had. And my favorite quote, “The world has need of you.” (Don’t remember the author). Be kind to others, don’t forget to be kind to yourself!

        Reply
  22. I believe that I’ve always been a depressed kid growing up. I remember making drawings of me hanging by a tree in many colors as well as drawings of me in a coffin with my parents crying at the side. I also remember drawing my entire family member with me, and then crossing me out of the family and seeing them happy. I always thought that they will be better off without me. That I am a problem to them, that I am no good to them. That with me gone, they will live better lives. I feel that I am a burden to them, being alive I still think that now, but instead of suicide, I just keep thinking that one day, I’ll leave them eventually, so I don’t have to be in such a rush to die.

    Reply
    • I am sorry that you are in pain. It sounds like an assumption on your part that your family would be better off without you. You are wrong. I would suggest talking with a school counselor. Also, share how you feel with your parents. They may not realize the picture of the world that is created in your mind. I am a parent and feel concern for your anguish. Perhaps you don’t expect something else from life, but life expects something else from you. You have a purpose here — determine what it is. Continue your life. Take care — be kind to yourself. You are a valuable person to this world. :0)

      Reply
      • Thank you for your kinds words and encouragement. I don’t even remember how long ago it has been since I wrote this. I also didn’t think there was going to be one soul to take the time to read it, or reply to it. I feel blessed. I also wanted to update that as time went by, I’ve come less and less to think and feel this way. Even though I still don’t know or have a purpose in life, I’ve come to enjoy and appreciate the little things.

        I know life gets busy so whenever my friends and I make time to spend together I bathe myself in every ounce of happiness. I also now have a loving husband who loves me tremendously (even though he cheated on me while we were dating-this, I don’t think I’ll ever get over-however through his actions, I am slowly beginning to trust him again.) I also never told my parents or my family about my depression.

        I remember just lashing out and threatening my suicide (this never helped-it always backfired and led to them to think that I was just a high hormonal teen-they never took me seriously.) My mistake was I wanted them to know, I wanted just talk about it, but because we never really engaged in depression or mental illness, it was so hard to get my feelings across. I have a younger sibling and I make sure to keep conversations as open as possible so that he never has to bottle anything up inside. I have become a good listener and we talk about MANY things.

        Putting my depression aside, I realized I love helping other people out, even when I couldn’t and can’t help myself… it’s a twisted logic, but I’m still alive and I’m going to keep on living until death do I part from this life that I have been given. I encourage for everyone else who is in depression to keep fighting too. The fight is not over until you are lost.

        Somedays you will lose the battle, but you will never lose the war. Remember that tomorrow is always a new day, if you die today, you take away the chance of tomorrow of making it better. Stay strong.

        Reply
  23. When we change the way we see things, the things we see will change. (Wayne Dyer)
    The only way to benefit from this quote is that you have to stick around. (Vanda)
    Love, Vanda Guzman

    Reply
    • Which line was it if you don’t mind me asking? I’m talking to a friend now who is thinking of killing herself.

      Reply

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