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What are the Signs and Symptoms of A Nervous Breakdown?

What is a nervous breakdown? It should be noted that although many people classify a nervous breakdown as a “mental breakdown” – a nervous breakdown is merely a subtype of mental breakdown that involves intense feelings of anxiety and stress – this is what causes us to react with our “nerves” and we feel “nervous.”

A nervous breakdown is typically caused by excessive activation of the sympathetic nervous system. This triggers a “fight or flight” response in the body and results in intense feelings of anxiety and tension. This anxiety becomes so overwhelming that we are unable to cope with life. I personally have experienced a nervous breakdown, so I know how difficult it can be to cope with.

During this experience, you may feel as though life is completely hopeless and that you will never recover or return to normal. It can be both scary and difficult to cope with these symptoms because your body is either in a state of hyperarousal or is transitioning into one. You may feel as if you are going crazy and may experience rapid thinking, feel depressed, and suicidal. Your outlook on the future may seem pretty bleak and things may feel as if they are never going to be the same.

The truth is that many people have experienced nervous breakdowns to a very severe degree and have made full recoveries back to biopsychosocial homeostasis. I am a prime example that recovery is possible – my breakdown lasted over a year and the recovery process certainly did not happen overnight. I am of the belief that the recovery from a nervous breakdown is somewhat proportionate to the build-up or onset length of the symptoms.

Signs and Symptoms of a Nervous Breakdown

Common signs and symptoms of a nervous breakdown can vary from person to person. In general, the hallmark symptoms include: anxiety, nervousness, stress, increased arousal, and tension. Whether you are a man, woman, teenager, or elderly, below is a list of some things you may experience.

  • Anxiety: The anxiety that you experience during a nervous breakdown can become overwhelming. In fact, most people are not able to cope with it until they learn that this anxiety is simply the result of their body’s stress response.
  • Appetite changes: People may feel like not eating any food. It is more common to avoid eating than it is to want to overeat. Everyone copes differently though and some people may turn to eating large amounts of food as a means of coping.
  • Depersonalization: This is a classic symptom that you may experience. It involves feeling unlike your natural self. You feel like an entirely different person, often void of emotion, and stressed. You may even feel like a zombie or as though an alien has invaded your brain.
  • Depression: The depression that you experience during a nervous breakdown is often a result of extreme anxiety. The anxiety becomes crippling and you lose all confidence, isolate yourself, feel alone, and as if you will never recover. Your entire outlook on life becomes that of dread and gloom.
  • Confusion: It is common to experience confusion and confused thinking. When your brain is overloaded with a stress response, it can be difficult to think clearly.
  • “Going crazy”: You may think or fear that you are going crazy, have some undiagnosed mental illness, or are schizophrenic. Just know that it is much more likely that you are just overly stressed.
  • Headaches: These are typically a result of tension, inability to relax, and inability to get proper sleep.  As soon as you are able to calm down and get some rest, it can help with headaches.
  • Hopelessness: Some people become hopeless about their future because they think they will never recover.
  • Hypochondria: Physical symptoms are common during a nervous breakdown. These accompanied with the rapid, stressful thinking can make you think that you have a severe physical illness. Often times these symptoms seem so real from a first-person perspective that even with reassurance from a doctor that nothing is wrong, we continue to freak out and think there is some undiagnosed, untreated condition.
  • Hyperarousal: Feeling hyperaroused involves feeling energetic, tense, stressed, and stimulated. Typically when we are overstressed for an extensive period of time to the point of “breaking down” we become hyperaroused.
  • Inability to concentrate: You may experience rapid, obsessive thinking and may actually get so stressed that you cannot concentrate at work or school.
  • Insomnia: One of the most common symptoms is insomnia or the inability to fall asleep.  This is due to overstimulation and high amounts of stress.  The person literally cannot calm their brain down to help themselves get a good night’s sleep.
  • Isolation: Some people experiencing a breakdown may isolate themselves from friends and family because they don’t know how to cope. Men are more likely to isolate than women.
  • Losing control: You may fear as though you are losing control of your mind and entire life.
  • Losing interest: You may lose interest in pleasurable activities such as sex or hanging out with friends.
  • Memory problems: People can struggle with both short term and long term memory when extremely stressed. These memory issues are not permanent and will subside as soon as the individual trains themselves to relax again.
  • Mood swings: It’s common to experience anger, hate, resent, and other negative emotions throughout the day. When people are stressed, there’s no telling what their mood will be – it can change on a whim.
  • Nervousness: This is the primary symptom of a nervous breakdown. Nervousness is an interchangeable term with anxiety and stress.
  • Physical pain: Some people report bodily pain and muscle pain. This can be a result of tension and rigidity throughout the body, but can also be a somatic issue.
  • Rapid thinking: When you have a breakdown, your thinking can become increasingly rapid. Typically this rapid thinking involves unfavorable, obsessive, and negative thoughts.
  • Sensitivity to sounds / lights: When we become overstimulated with stress, we can become highly sensitized to loud noises and bright lights. These things can further stress us out.
  • Suicidal thoughts: It is very common to feel suicidal during a nervous breakdown. This is because we don’t know what’s going on in our body and we can’t control our thoughts or emotions. These feelings are normal, but should be addressed in therapy.
  • Sleeplessness: People often experience broken sleep throughout the night because they cannot relax.
  • Stress: The stress you experience may be greater than ever before. In fact it may become so great that you feel as though you cannot cope with life anymore. The not being able to cope anymore is the “breakdown.”
  • Tension: Physical tension is one of the most common signs of a nervous breakdown. You may feel tense all over and not know how to deal with it.

How to Overcome a Nervous Breakdown

Explaining how to overcome a nervous breakdown scientifically is pretty easy. The goal is to increase activity in the parasympathetic nervous system – which is responsible for helping the body relax. By increasing activity in the parasympathetic nervous system, you will naturally decrease activity in the sympathetic nervous system.

This will allow you to experience increased levels of relaxation. However, this is much easier said than done. In someone that has already experienced a total breakdown, their brain and body is wired to stay in hyper drive. The goal is to help them recognize that they are experiencing an intense state of anxiety and/or emotional response, and to use various tools to increase parasympathetic nervous system activation.

  1. Psychotherapy: Getting yourself in to a psychologist of licensed psychotherapist can be beneficial for your recovery. They will work with you to address and correct faulty thinking patterns and behavior. This can be highly effective for people struggling with a breakdown.
  2. Relaxation techniques: Techniques such as progressive relaxation and guided meditation have been found to be effective at reducing the body’s stress response and increasing the parasympathetic (relaxation) response.
  3. Exercise: Some would argue that the effects of intense aerobic exercise can actually make symptoms of a nervous breakdown more intense. However, the cumulative effects of exercise over time are generally good for the brain and body. Exercise will help your body utilize the extra “nervous” energy that it has created and may help you sleep better at night.  Read more about the psychological benefits of exercise.
  4. Medications: You may benefit from taking an antidepressant or anti-anxiety (anxiolytic) drug to help you cope with the symptoms.

You may also want to read the articles how to overcome PTSD as well as 10 natural cures for anxiety disorders.  Both of those articles have some helpful information that you may be able to apply towards alleviating symptoms and recovering from your breakdown.  You can fully recover from a breakdown, I am living proof that it can be done.  You just need to take things one day at a time and gradually increase relaxation throughout your body and mind.

Have you ever experienced a nervous breakdown? Were you able to overcome it?

For some people, the symptoms of a nervous breakdown can last weeks or months. In some cases, the symptoms may persist into a more chronic form of anxiety that lasts for years. If a person takes proper care of themselves by getting into psychotherapy and relaxation techniques, they can usually get over it in a relatively short period of time. However, some people do not treat their nervous condition with professional help and end up unnecessarily suffering for years. If you experienced a nervous breakdown, feel free to share how you overcame the symptoms and/or more about your experience.

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148 thoughts on “What are the Signs and Symptoms of A Nervous Breakdown?”

  1. Wondering if anyone can advise me please. My mum is 84 she has health problems which consist of COPD & overactive thyroid, all managed well with inhalers and medication. My mum is mentally very fit, does crosswords and puzzles and knits beautiful garments following intense knitting patterns. 4 months ago we lost my father.

    My mum couldn’t cry – she said she hadn’t the energy! She has had around the clock support from her family. Just over a week ago she started to become distracted and lacking in concentration (would lose train of thought mid sentence). This developed over the next few days as becoming confused and talking “mumbo jumbo” talking about present day and reverting back to past and childhood!

    We contacted the doc after we considered it may be a water infection. Doc agreed and antibiotics were given but no improvement made. She has now been admitted to hospital and they are concentrating on her breathing rather than her mental state and now say there was no water infection.

    I think, they think she has dementia but she doesn’t! My theory – could it be a breakdown after the death of my dad? I am meeting with doc tomorrow to try and get some answers but I’m not sure they fully realize that my mum was so mentally capable up to a fortnight ago and how could she deteriorate so quickly?

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  2. I feel that I’m currently experiencing a nervous breakdown. I believe it’s been ongoing which has affected my ability to have successful relationships with my family and ex-fiancee. I’m presently dealing with a split in my relationship which has increased all of the symptoms listed. Regardless, I still have to function being a Mom. When the kids are in bed or when I walk out of the door after work, my mood changes instantly. I sleep and can’t eat. I need to get things together ASAP. Any advice is appreciated.

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  3. I feel out of control and am unable to do anything for myself; I procrastinate a lot. Politics, work, medical issues are bringing me down. I need help. I have a loving fiancee, but I can see it’s starting to affect my performance at work.

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  4. Wow if I had only read this article a few years ago, I would still be married and be raising my kids in a “traditional family unit.” Looking back I definitely would have done things differently. Only hope my kids understand and forgive me one day.

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  5. I am in the middle of a three year breakdown. I didn’t even know what to call it until I found this article. I yell at my children, I’m psychotic, I’m confused, I can’t make a decision, I’m just downright mean. I’m completely the opposite of how I was before I found out my son has autism and may never speak.

    And he’s super aggressive and hits, pinches, and punches me constantly – when he’s not banging on the walls. I’m feel like I’m going crazy and if it weren’t for my insurance not paying out the benefits for my kids, I’d have already killed myself. I am a single parent so there’s no one here to check me when I get too mean.

    I would never physically hurt or spank my children but the yelling is mental abuse which is much more scaring and I’m terrified that I’m ruining their lives. I hate myself for who I’ve become and how I am now. I don’t deserve such amazing children. I just don’t know what to do. Medication doesn’t work (I’ve tried them all) and I’m just hanging on minute by minute.

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  6. I Googled “What are the signs and symptoms of a nervous breakdown” and found this. I ought to know really, I had a breakdown in 2014 and hoped that it would never happen again. I noticed a comment about stuttering. I had forgotten that symptom but a few nights ago it came back with a vengeance whilst at work.

    Since 2014 I’ve self medicated through work, have become a complete workaholic, hating days off, avoiding holidays just to avoid being alone. I read this article and whaddya know? Hello darkness my old friend.

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  7. I had a nervous breakdown when I was 15 years old before I was put on anxiety medications (I’m 21 now). I had anxiety attacks no matter where I was; school, home, stores, etc. Went about a few weeks to a month with little sleep. Was absent from school for about 3 weeks.

    My brother was freaking out when I was sleep walking into his room and turned his light on. He asked me “What, Kalyn what?” I just stood there and starred at him. I was also sleep walking out of my house…my mom had to get me back in the house multiple times. I had a small appetite.

    Had hallucinations (visual and auditory)…the voices were normal to me cause I always had voices in my head since I was 7. My mom thought I was overdosing on my anxiety meds, my dad and stepmom thought I was possessed by demons, and I don’t remember what my brother thought about that. My doctor told my mom to take me to the emergency room.

    She took me there, had a few CT-scans. Thank god I didn’t have any tumors. And after I gave them a urine sample, they found out that I wasn’t taking my medications for at least 3 weeks.

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  8. The real problem is getting a doctor to “hear” what you’re telling them. I was blown off when I expressed a growing fear to leave my home, inability to remember things, panic attacks so bad they felt like heart attacks, problems with work/home/socially, etc. I said I felt like I had a mental break somewhere. I was repeatedly misdiagnosed and after 1 & 1/2 years out of work I feel a bit better. I’m not 100%. Now add on recent menopause…lol.

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  9. Everybody here look up “trauma release exercises.” It’s saved my life and took what would’ve been likely a year of recovery down to one week. It really is kind of a surreal magic pill, the bodies own way of healing the nervous system. Just try to be in tune with the sensation and do exercises all the way up your spine into your neck.

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  10. I am also in the midst of a nervous breakdown, mainly from all of the moving and drastic changes in my life the past year (major break-up, miscarriage, financial issues). I wake up everyday to existential dread that I can’t seem to get out of. I think and think all day about all of the issues in my life in fear that things will never get better. Things I used to love to do I know longer do and not to mention the physical side effects.

    I’m only 29 with a beautiful 10 year old daughter. I can’t go on feeling anxious and so afraid all the time. I wish I could just wake up and feel better about myself but I know this will take time. I just hope I can get it together soon for my daughter and just so I can finally have a genuine smile on my face.

    I meet with a therapist once a week but it not helping like I thought it would. I’ve explained the mental and emotional anxiety I have everyday, the shakes and chronic fearful thinking but really she says I just need to change my mindset. Wish it were that easy.

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  11. I fight anxiety and panic every day. Seems like I feel like I will have a nervous breakdown about every 2 years. I take medication for anxiety but I’m really struggling now. Don’t know what else I can do? Any tips would be appreciated. Thanks.

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  12. I’m currently in the midst of a breakdown and everything is both chaotic and calm. I’ve never felt more alone then I do right now. I have no idea who to talk to or how to ask for help. I am 23 years old and I feel like a small child. I’m so sad and unhappy and anxious and not myself I hardly recognize who I am anymore.

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  13. I suffered from a nervous breakdown most terrifying thing I ever went through. But you can recover. I have been on my own recovery program for 2 months and am doing very well. For me it was through prayer and down right getting down in my knees and asking God to help me and get me through. Well it worked. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thank-you God in Jesus name. I was in my breakdown for one year.

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  14. Lol @ your definition of a nervous breakdown. Take every thing you listed, multiply them three fold, add: a solid thousand pounds’ worth of work pressure, a thoroughly detailed suicide PLAN, functioning on basic motor and survival skills, complete inability to eat, drink, sleep and laugh, and many, many trips to the ER from work for stress, anxiety and depression induced seizures. THAT is a complete nervous breakdown.

    If you aren’t in the psych ward at some point, you’re simply dealing with stress/acute anxiety/acute depression, and all you need is weekly counseling sessions with a therapist, psychologist or LISW who will refer you to a psychiatrist, after careful psychological assessment, for medication, a daily and rigorous exercise routine, maintain a balanced diet, participate in activities you enjoy, and spend a solid amount of time in prayer with Jesus, strengthening your faith. That’s called living, as opposed to a nervous breakdown wherein you barely exist for the purposes of, well, that’s for God to know.

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  15. I am suffering from an OBVIOUS nervous breakdown. Up until mid June (when it occurred) I only saw it as something on TV. I have been suffering from depersonalization, anxiety, panic attack, fear of going crazy, fear of never returning to my happy self… IDK… what I can say is that during this crisis, I have found GOD…and for that, I am blessed. :) Anyone want to chat, don’t hesitate to email me ([email protected]). REACH OUT, EVEN WHEN NO ONE IS IN SIGHT.

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  16. I am going through a breakdown again like I did in December 2013. Did not believe it could ever get this bad again so am going back to the mental health team. When you have tried so hard only to be back at square one is soul destroying. You wonder if there is a curse on you! I have had breakdowns throughout my life like a number on here have and you do wonder if the light will ever be at the end of the tunnel. But the old saying is what can not be cured must be endured so I guess that is the lot of some people. Read Dr Claire Weekes’ books – they are good while in the breakdown state.

    Reply
  17. I think that I am in the midst of a nervous breakdown. I am currently living and teaching in China, and I hate it. I want to go home so badly. I am trying to hang on another month until when I get paid so I can buy a flight home, but I don’t know how I am going to last that long.

    I don’t really have a choice because I don’t have the money to fly home. I can barely eat or sleep or concentrate is becoming too much for me to take. I am also stressed about going home. I have several debts that have gone to collections so I won’t be able to buy a car.

    I don’t care though, I just need to be home and be around my family. My parents don’t have the money to help. But I just want to be around them and get the proper help I need. I don’t know how I will do that since I don’t have a job and don’t have medical insurance. Does anyone have any advice?

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  18. Mine is more financially related. I was divorced 5 years ago and she’s taking everything including half of my income. Nothing can be done about that and I have 5 years. In the mean time I have depleted all savings, retirement and my current wife is out of work and we have a 5 year old daughter. I am up at 4:20am and get home at 6 pm. 3 hours of driving. I literally will run out of money in a few months and feel like ending this. I don’t know where to turn and I can’t take it anymore.

    Reply
  19. My boyfriend of two years just broke up with me with no warning. We honestly never had even one disagreement, we done everything together. Went to his parents house every Sunday for dinner. Out of the blue he said he’s done, doesn’t want to be with me anymore!! His Mother was diagnosed with cancer about three years ago, and I’ve been there with him for this also… I’m at a loss, can’t stop crying!! I did not see this coming…

    Reply
  20. I had a five year nervous breakdown. It’s kind of like a massive earthquake, that you feel the resonances of for a long time. In my case, years. It shook something loose in me, and I can almost feel some kind of plate-techtonic shifting inside me. I am no longer the same person. I have always been bipolar, had anxiety and PTSD. But this was different.

    I am not in the midst of my breakdown anymore, but I am still unable to cope with much of life. I don’t know who I am now. The past definitions do not fit, and I am unable to become the person I want to be because I don’t have the energy to do much of anything. And I have been in therapy most of 30 years. I have been on one medication or another for about 25.

    I have tried just about every relaxation technique in the world, none work for me. I have some coping mechanisms. I am better than I was, but just when I got better, the rumblings inside began. I am lucky enough to have an incredible support system, a fantastic husband, caring family and friends, and the best therapist in the world. But no one who has not been through it can understand.

    I have a few suggestions, which seems funny from someone who is not totally well themselves. If some issues are trauma related, EMDR is an excellent technique that is sort of like skipping a record over the trauma part when the needle is stuck. Sometimes, no matter how much work you done to make yourself better, you need something more. This is a great help.

    Second, if you don’t have a therapist, or don’t like yours, interview the next ones you contact. Talk to them first to see if you feel they are someone you can open up to, if they have the same belief structure as you, etc. I did that, and have found the most wonderful therapist in the world, who is actually the only reason I was approved for Disability. (For anyone who has done through that process, my sympathies, it was a nightmare that contributed largely to my breakdown).

    Third, read about your disorders, if you know what they are. And for me, reading about people who have gone through horrific abuse and survived helped me a lot. “When Rabbit Howls” about Trudi Chase, and “A Child Called It” by Dave Pelzer really helped me to see that no matter what happens, life goes on. Sure, you’re not the same person but as long as you are alive, you are still fighting. Give yourself credit for that.

    Many people have not been able to do it. You have. Congratulations! Fourth, medication, but be very careful. I was on over 20 medications in 4 years, and I believe it made me far worse. Doctors are only human, and they can’t know what will help you until you try it. Look up the meds prescribed, see what the side effects are, and what time of day/night the med should be taken so it won’t interfere with your sleep, work, or whatever you have to do.

    DO NOT let anyone push you into something you don’t want. DO NOT stay on a medication that makes you feel worse. And report any symptoms you may have as a result to your doctor. DO NOT let any doctor make you stay on a medicine that gives you side effects you can’t cope with. Often they will ask you to stay on the med for awhile longer. If you don’t want to, don’t.

    The doctor is not taking the med and although they are trained, they do not know your body as well as you do. Every body is different, and everyone reacts to things differently. Being over-medicated or on the wrong medication can make things much worse. Fifth, if you feel you can’t go on, there are options of going to a hospital. A mental illness ward is preferable to a state hospital, if you are having a nervous breakdown.

    Being around patients at the state hospital can be very difficult. I have not been in a ward or a hospital, but I have had a few therapists who wanted to commit me, but didn’t because I was not a danger risk. BE WARNED: once you get in the system, you have very little power. I had a friend who had a two day incident of severe paranoia, which resulted in inappropriate public behavior.

    She was no danger to anyone or herself. Once she got to the ER, and they gave her some Ativan to calm her down, she became much better. She stated clearly – as did I, as I was with her – that she did not want to go to the state hospital, because her mother had been a patient there and had been raped during that time. The nurses and psychiatric help promised that they would keep her until they found a bed in a hospital wing, so that she would not have to go through that.

    They lied. They sent her to the state hospital, and when they told me this was going to happen, I protested vigorously – not inappropriately, however – and then they threw me out of the hospital. When they went to my friend’s room, and saw I wasn’t there, she was terrified because she knew I would never have left willingly. She was in the hospital for only two days, thank god, because they could easily see that she was not bad enough to be there.

    But it was a horrifying experience during a time that needed help and support. I complained about this treatment and received a letter apologizing for my interpretation of the situation. It was a nightmare and so I warn everyone to be careful. I would hate to see that happen to anyone else.
    Sixth, make a plan for the worst days. If you have days where you just can’t do anything, give yourself permission to do that.

    I don’t mean that you shouldn’t get out of bed or not eat or anything of that sort. Get yourself out of bed. If you can’t, let someone know – a spouse, a husband, a therapist, someone who can see if you need emergency help. If you are in no danger, that’s when you give yourself permission to do nothing. Some people need to be active, and that helps them.

    If that works, do it! But I myself get overwhelmed easily, for no reason at all sometimes. My therapist has told me to forego any responsibility at those times, and if I have plans, cancel them. Anyone who cares for you should understand. When I have a bad day, I lay on the couch with my cat with my childhood blanket over me and a box of tissues nearby.

    If I am up to it, I will read or watch tv, but what I won’t do is worry about how the house looks or if I promised to go to lunch. Seventh, what the hell do I know? Maybe none of this applies to any of you. I am still fucked up. I am just sharing a few things I learned that helped me, but I am not a professional.

    Anyone going through this should seek professional help, because it is too much to conquer yourself. It can be dangerous not to, especially if you are alone. Soooooo…. a bit long-winded, sorry. I hope that maybe some of this might help somebody else, or at the least let them know that they aren’t alone. Millions of people go through this, it is no deficiency or shame of any kind.

    As I said earlier, if you are reading this, you are still trying. Still fighting. That’s amazing. Give yourself credit for that, and I wish you the best on your journey. Just remember that yes, it will get worse at times, but it will also get better.

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  21. I recently had a nervous breakdown. Everything in my life seems so out of control. I totally froze up. Always tired but can’t sleep.I can’t stop thinking about all the crap going on it’s like I am obsessing over it trying to figure out how to get back to order.I stopped eating or bathing. I couldn’t handle being around people. I cry constantly. I will fight this and pull through. At least that’s what my husband says. Thanks for having the information I need to get through it. Good luck to everyone who feels this way.

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  22. I thought I was going crazy and that I had some undiagnosed mental illness. I want to die a lot and it’s been going on since January/February and it’s now June also I’ve been more anxious than usual. This is why I thought I might have a mental illness. None of the symptoms matched up quite right though. I never had enough symptoms.

    This has article had just made me realise that I’m having a very long mental breakdowns. I’m prone to having them and usually for me they only lasted a day so I thought I was just having many mental breakdowns because of a mental illness. I’m so glad I finally looked up why I was having them. This is literally a lifesaver.

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  23. My story is long but I will make it short. I already have depression and anxiety, I do take medication for both. In February my dog I had for almost 10 years had to be put to sleep unexpectedly, she was everything to me. Exactly a week later my dad passed away. He did not have a will or anything in order. The whole situation is very complicated.

    I’m trying to file probate but that has been difficult. Everything is resting on my shoulders. He had a girlfriend she has all his belongings. She got access to his checking account even though she wasn’t on it and took out a good size of money. So it’s stressful she has access to everything. She’s living off his money and I’m struggling making it day to day. I feel like I’m just to the breaking point. Any advice greatly appreciated.

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  24. I’m 14 and I constantly feel a lot of these symptoms and it worries me. I’ve tried asking my mother to let me go to a therapist but she won’t get me one, we don’t have the money. I don’t know what to do. My symptoms have increased the past couple days and it’s horrible – my head hurts.

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  25. Hi, Since college I had a nervous breakdown due to continued stress till the point I couldn’t handle anymore. Even the slightest stress I couldn’t handle anymore with extreme nervousness. A horn on the road will make me suffer literally just want to tear my clothes because of internal feeling which difficult to describe.

    A combination of anger, nervousness, fatigue and muscle tension in front neck that it feels very tight like can’t lookup the sky without feeling the tightness. Started anxiety and SSRI medication and continued on SSRI for 10 years. Due to new stress recently, I started to have these anxiety waves that cause extreme physical symptoms especially if I was tense and eat. Everyone must be patient and have faith that things will change with time. God bless you all.

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  26. I feel as though I’ve been having a nervous breakdown for the past 2 years, and 4 months. I lost my only child he was 20 years old. Prior to losing him I lost my only brother 7 years before losing my son, he was 37 years old. I than lost my best friend 3 in a half years ago. I’ve been a huge wreck after losing my brother, a train wreck after losing my only child. Im very self-destructive.

    I have 2 sisters. One who is married with 2 kids. My youngest sister is 22 years old, in college. My mom has a boyfriend who she is with all the time. I feel like I’m nothing but a huge burden on them all. I self medicate hoping to just accidentally overdose. I have nothing to live for, I just turned 44 yesterday and my life means nothing.

    I’m so ready to just die so I can go be with my son and loved ones but I’m so afraid. I don’t sleep don’t eat much at all anymore. I have an mentally abusive boyfriend who I feel I love, he’s also a addict. My life has gone to hell since I lost my son. It was horrible losing my brother, but losing my son has definitely taking a HUGE toll on me, I feel as though a huge part of me has been ripped and torn away from me, it’s all so unfair.

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  27. After years of being a caretaker and already experiencing anxiety, the last 8 months have been particularly hard and I’m sure, after reading this page, that this is what I am experiencing. I have anxiety, derealization, sadness, complete inability to mentally function and think, etc. I hope that everyone gets out of this slump and I’ll be keeping you all in my prayers.

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  28. We all get better. Time is our friend. Psychotherapy and medication can help in some cases. Remember, you are not alone. There still is love and life in this world of ours even thought it sometimes feels like there isn’t. Give, love, live.

    Reply
  29. I don’t know how old this post is but I am desperate and suffering beyond my ability to fully explain. I am 34 unemployed and a mother of a beautiful, deserving, very intelligent 6 year old daughter. Just writing that I am in full on sob mode and feeling so guilty for my condition. I was a successful hard working woman nearing my 30th birthday when I was blindsided with being terminated from my job I needed so badly.

    At that moment in time I actually embraced the situation I was dealt and walked out of my office with my head held high…not knowing what this termination would actually do to negatively impact the rest of my life. Several months later while enjoying my time off with my little girl, who was only 2 then, I decided I wanted to get back into the swing of things as I was used to them being normally.

    That meant back to work! I applied to a few places where I personally knew that former coworkers had gone to work for and had recommended me come to work for them. I thought “piece of cake!” WRONG. While completing the background portion of the application process for one of the potential new employers I was shocked and shamed when informed that I did not pass satisfactorily and could not EVER work in the industry (banking) for the rest of my life! I did not know what to do. What had happened?

    Someone must have made an error. While yes I was terminated from my last employer it was not for violating any policy or procedure, not for stealing or for any other reason that would “black list” me from being employed elsewhere. I called human resources from my former job and they did confirm that I was red flagged as non rehirable. I could not believe this.

    I was dumbfounded. It also said that it was indeed for violating policies and procedures from the sales and service company handbook. What?!? That is not what was discussed upon my firing. It was actually due to an issue with signatures being enraptured by a MACHINE on time to meet company’s deadline when it came to paper application for accounts etc… I was stupid to not ensure anything crooked was going on when I was singled out for this and terminated for it.

    It turns out my manager’s behind was the one on the line for this error and more. So she used me to take the blame and it worked all unbeknownst to me. I was too stressed at work and welcomed the release from it all. Stupid move. I failed to take care of me during that time. By the time this whole thing reared its ugly head it was too late. My former manager didn’t deny what happened but she did refuse to go in their system and lift the flagged status so that I could carry on with my life.

    I felt trapped. I felt very taken advantage of but mostly I felt very stupid. Four years later I am literally unrecognizable. No longer am I this petite, fit, energetic person with a go-getter attitude that is infectious. I am pale, out of shape, sad, and always tired. I am a stay at home mother with a VERY supportive but very worried family. I am a great mother. I know that is admirable but I am more. I know I am.

    But I am stuck. I tried to find legal help but need money to go further in the process to fight my former employer. The manager who flagged me as non rehirable is actually no longer working for the bank we worked for. She is now a plaintiff in a huge case against them citing her managers as not paying employees for over time and holiday pay. I can’t even believe it. Wells Fargo. Yes that’s them.

    The company I was so proud to work for because I thought I was part of something great and upstanding. This company has left me jobless and unable to get another in my area of expertise as this flagged status follows me everywhere. It’s not just banks or any financial type institutions. I want to work so badly but instead I’m depressed and almost unable to function many of my days. Somehow I muster up the energy to take my child to and from school on time ALWAYS but I know my sadness and depression shows.

    I have no confidence. I come out of my skin when someone coughs or sneezes more than once. I can’t stand when my iPhone auto corrects me and it’s not correct. I’m overwhelmed with issues with my child’s father too. He finds me completely unrecognizable. He thought I might be taking something as far as illegal drugs go. Wrong. I also don’t drink alcohol either and haven’t in four and a half years. Some people joke and say “maybe you should!” Not funny as those things have proven to be of no help to me.

    I feel like my life is over. 50 seems like it’s knocking on my door and I haven’t accomplished a thing and never will. I feel as if I’ve aged fifteen years in only four. My whole body hurts everywhere. I have been tested for all kinds of diseases and all doctors want to do medicate me with pill after pill after pill. All of which have debilitating side effects.

    I’ve tried them and it made things worse. I feel like if I didn’t have my daughter I would be dead or at least would have attempted to make that happen. I am lost. I don’t turn on lights if I can help it. When I shower it’s with a nightlight only. I hate myself. I used to love me. I was great. I was energetic and fun. People were addicted to ME. I could have been so much more.

    Reply
    • I’m so sorry that you in such a dark place. I wanted to tell you something you already know… You’ve been blackballed. I, myself experienced this when I quit from a job and my manager told me I would regret it. She was so right, but not in the way I thought. I always interviewed really well and usually didn’t even worry about it, knowing I would get the job and I usually did.

      But after leaving my last job, even though I still interviewed well, I could not get a job ANYWHERE. For 6 months I tried, becoming more discouraged, as I had a very young son to support. One day, I went on an interview for a job, and did so well, I was told I was hired and potential employer left the room telling me he just wanted to check my background and then we would be all set. So I waited a bit and the gentleman came out of his office and asked me to come in, he wanted me to hear something.

      He had recorded the phone conversation from my former employer and I sat in shock listening to her tell lie after lie about me. I was in tears after the recorder stopped. The potential employer was very apologetic but told me he could not hire me with such a reference and he was the one who opened my eyes. He said he hadn’t believed her from the start and informed me she was blackballing me so I couldn’t get a job.

      He told me to call The Very Head Of the Company and explain what she had said about me. It took a few days, but I finally got the info I needed and made the call. The President of the company was very apologetic and told me he would take care of it, and not to worry any longer. And he did, as the next job I applied to, I got.

      It seems that the President of the company had called my former manager and to make a long story short, told her if she EVER did anything like that again, she would be fired without a seconds notice. She was instructed to change my work record and to give me a glowing review to every potential employer that called. How did I find out? Her secretary called and told me. So you see, you are not alone. Doing this sort of thing is against the law.

      Find out who is the very head of the company and explain the situation as he is probably not even aware of what happened. It certainly worth a try as it worked for me. As for your depression, start taking care of yourself and practice hopefulness and gratefulness. I know it seems impossible in the depression you are in, but you must try. The more that you do for yourself, the better you will feel.

      I am disabled from my bipolar disorder, PTSD and Severe Anxiety disorder and haven’t worked in twenty years and still struggle with depression, but I try my best to keep a positive attitude. I do yoga, meditation and try to walk every day. You would be amazed at how different you will feel. As for the medication, don’t be afraid as there may be a medication that would pull you completely out of this.

      And Please, Don’t Give Up. Love and Light To You, Bella

      Reply
  30. There are times when I am afraid of losing it, especially in the morning when I wake up. I take my meds and over a few hours I feel a little better. The same goes for the evening. After 20+ years I feel I can’t go on this way for much longer.

    Reply

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